-Aerin’s POV-

I entered the school late after oversleeping at Jin Hae’s house. She’s my friend from my former school and I was more than grateful to her for letting me stay until Thursday night. I was planning to stay at least until the night of the dance, but then, she will be going on a business trip with her parents. She offered to make me stay at there even if they were away, but I just couldn’t accept it since she was doing so much for me already. My eyes were puffy as a result of my tearful conversation with her the previous night. I told her everything. I was actually surprised that she knew both guys. Well, she did know my circumstances with Sehun and she just knew Chan Yeol for what he was before I transferred to Reishin High. I didn’t know he still had that reputation to other students.

Jin Hae had been very helpful. I was finally able to let out all the things that I’ve been keeping in. I was glad she didn’t choose one of them for me. She’d usually do that, but this time, she just listened. It was only then that I realized how much misery I’ve been putting the three of us together. Of course, I didn’t do it intentionally, but still, I find it hard to forgive myself after ruining the once warm friendship they’ve had.

I strode towards the field where the bleachers were. I haven’t been there since that incident with Eunmi. I didn’t develop any kind of fear for that place, but I just didn’t want it to stir up memories, not that I remembered a lot. I just knew why I went to the back of the bleachers in the first place. Sehun and Chan Yeol were being too possessive that night and I was desperately trying to escape them. That night led to a lot of matters to ponder about. That night caused Sehun to break his friendship with Chan Yeol which in turn made the latter quit his dating services in the afternoon. It led to Sehun’s confession to me, made me realize how much I was worth to the new friends I’ve made, I met Hee Jin in the process, too, but above all that, I’ve realized whom I really wanted in the end.

I smiled to myself as I looked around for familiar faces in the sea of people that was blocking the entrance to the bleachers. It didn’t take me a long time to see them since Hee Jin spotted me first and waved at me. I walked up to join them there. Baekhyun immediately pulled me to sit beside him. I smiled at him for that.

“I’ve been saving a seat for you,” he told me softly.

I arched a brow at him, wondering why he was being quiet. “Thanks.”

He suddenly glanced down at the seats and I followed his gaze. I saw Chan Yeol and Sehun sitting together, looking agitated as they watched the archery competition.

“So who’s up?” I asked.

“Suho hyung.”

“How did D.O. do?”

“He’s great. He just has to control his temper.”

I chuckled and watched as Suho oppa loaded an arrow into his bow. He moved with such precision. I’ve never seen him so serious. It was getting noisy as well so I guess he was having a hard time concentrating. Just then, D.O. came into view and waved like a lunatic.

“Who is that guy waving at?” Chan Yeol asked, sounding irritated, motioning to turn and face us.

“Uh-oh.”

Baekhyun quickly bent down and made him face forward. “He’s waving at you.”

“Yah!”

I took their distraction as an opportunity to run away. I’ve reached the exit and once again, I found myself running towards the back alley of the field. I was panting so hard when I got there, resting my hands against my knees as I tried to calm down. I seem to have developed this habit of running away from things I didn’t want to face lately. I just couldn’t look at them. I was scared like hell. I didn’t know how I’d tell them my choice that night. Maybe I won’t be able to make it there. Maybe I’d be much of a coward and just run away again. I was good at that anyway.

I sank down, leaning against the wall as I hugged my knees to myself, thinking of how I let it go this far. I even agreed to their truce just to stop them from fighting and now, I was left with the job to choose one. By doing so, I‘d make one happy, but at the same time, I was going to wound the other. They were all wrong when they say that it’s fun to be caught in the middle of two people who were willing to do everything just to be with you. I hated it. It was flattering at first, I must admit, but when they start asking who I would go with, it’s a different story altogether. It’s like reading a paperback novel with a horrific ending. Though the heroine was happy with what she decides on, she would still bear the guilt even if it wasn’t mentioned. That’s always the case.

I will be happy. There’s no doubt in that, but I do hope it would be all worth it, all worth inflicting someone I loved the pain. It would be better in time, I hope. Even time didn’t help me erase the pain over the losses I’ve gotten as I continued living, but I hope it would work for that person. I may not be able to get over the losses, but at least that person would be happy with someone else who truly deserved him for what a good person he was. I wished I could melt and disappear, evaporate, whatever. A pert of me was going to hate all that for a very long time, but there was just no turning back for me. I’ve made my decision and that’s final.

Suddenly, I heard soft footfalls on the gravelly ground. I flinched, reliving the scenes of that night when I heard the same sound. That night defined my future and it was my turn to manipulate it to what I wanted it to be. I didn’t look up, thinking that it was just a random person.

“Is this where you run to when you’re suddenly missing?”

That voice. I blinked slowly at the ground before turning my head to see who it was. “S-sehun-ah…” I quickly stood, preparing to bolt away.

“Well?” he arched a brow at me, waiting for my answer.

I shook my head. “N-no. I was just t-thinking.” I braved the odds and tried to walk past him, but he took me by the arm, forcing me to face him, but I just looked down.

“You’re running away again. Do you know –”

I met his gaze. “Sehun-ah, I know it hurts. Trust me on that. It hurts a lot for me, too, but I’ve got to be alone. I need to choose on my own without influences coming from either you or Chan Yeol,” I told him. “Please understand.”

“I understand, but will you please promise to understand one thing first?” he said gently, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear as he lifted my chin up.

I hesitated when I was about to shake my head.

“I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” His eyes searched mine as he gazed into them. “I’ll let you go after this. I promise.”

I bit my lower lip and