-Aerin’s POV-

I’m such a damned coward and that’s understating matters.

I sighed as I gathered my things from my seventh period. Thoughts battled in my head, mostly about attending eighth period where both Chan Yeol and Sehun would be. I’m practically wedged between them. If I miss it this time, then it would be the second day I was ditching it and I didn’t have any infirmary pass to save my this time. Both of them didn’t have any idea that I knew they’ve heard me talking about them, but I just couldn’t keep up with it without feeling like my insides were going to drop on the floor at any given time. If I missed class then they’ll be thinking that there was a glitch in my plan. I should be acting all casual, but at odds to that, I was just falling apart bit by bit whenever I see them.

At school, I didn’t have to endure Sehun’s searching gaze. I rarely saw him. I made sure. I never joined them for lunch since Monday. I was only left to wonder how Chan Yeol was doing until I finally saw him the previous day. That’s the only time that I realized the gravity of what I’ve done. He looked sallow and he was walking aimlessly towards his classes. I feared for him. Sehun didn’t seem that affected, but I knew he was trying to do something to see through me.

At home, it was a different story altogether. It was driving me to the edge of my sanity whenever I would have to interact with Sehun like nothing’s wrong. Umma was home and I had to act normally in front of her or she’ll begin putting me in the hot seat. I apologized to her for my behavior last Monday morning and told her I was just tired. It was the lamest excuse I’ve ever made since telling the boys that I tripped when my injuries suggested that I got into a fight.

I sighed deeply, feeling my breath catch when I saw Chan Yeol walking out of his class, heading towards our eight period. I hurried towards my locker and shoved my things in, taking my English book. I waited for him to pass me and I could have sworn that I felt his eyes on me for a while and time couldn’t have been slower at that moment. I swallowed, as I slowly closed the door, waiting for the other students to go into their classes. I just wanted to die already. Why did I do that? Damn it, I’m really stupid.

I slowly made my way towards the room, but then, I bumped into someone. I looked up and saw Mr. Kim, looking at me with an arched brow. I bowed slightly. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“You look pale. Is anything bothering you, Miss Kwon?”

I clenched my teeth. The teachers were aware of what happened to me during the festival and I think the headmistress told them to keep a close eye on me. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim. I can attend class.”

He nodded then, choosing not to press on the subject any longer. “Do enter the classroom then, Miss Kwon.”

I bowed again and entered the room, fixing a smile on my face as I reached the door. Everything seemed normal, except that Sehun was there while Chan Yeol wasn’t. Sehun was looking out the window while Suho oppa was watching my every move. I hastened my pace, waving slightly at Suho oppa and eyeing him briefly. He flashed me pained look. Sehun turned when I sat down. Soon, Mr. Kim began class by handing out the syllabus.

“You weren’t here yesterday,” Sehun said softly.

I took my copy of the lesson and began scanning it. “I wasn’t,” I confirmed. I glanced at my other side and looked at Chan Yeol’s seat. Where on earth could he be? I thought he would be attending class, but when he saw me, he probably changed his mind. I frowned, fixing a puzzled look on my face as I looked at Sehun. “Where’s Chan Yeol? I haven’t been seeing him.”

It took him a while to answer. “How should I know? We weren’t hanging out.”

“Oh.”

The class passed in a blur. I couldn’t really listen to Mr. Kim’s lecture. My line of sight kept straying to Chan Yeol’s seat and then my thoughts would be filled by his smiles and then it would be replaced by his rather weak image. I didn’t have the words to describe how I felt whenever I saw him that miserable. It’s like I see his pain and I feel mine doubling. I hurt for Sehun, too. I knew he wanted to confront me already. He just didn’t know how and until that day comes, I have to think of something to say to him. I’ve never won an argument with him and I don’t think I will win this one. There was just no chance.

I stood up abruptly the moment the bell rang. Suho oppa waved goodbye to me and Sehun before he left the room in a hurry. Everyone filed out, but I couldn’t move, knowing that Sehun was behind me.

“Do you have club meetings to attend to?” he asked when Mr. Kim left.

I quickly shook my head, gathering my stuff. “I don’t.”

“Let’s go home then?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I brought my motorcycle. Let’s go.” He stood up and pulled me with him.

We walked in silence until we got to the parking lot. He gave me the extra helmet which made me think he had been planning this. He got me where he wanted again and this time, I knew I was trapped. I mounted the bike after he did.

“Hold on,” he commanded.

I willingly wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning against his back, fighting tears. Just feeling him close comforted me, but at the same time, it tore on every cell inside me. I held onto him tighter and I felt him flinch, but I couldn’t care less. The tears finally fell, but the wind carried them all away. It was a short, but heavily silent ride. I dismounted immediately the moment he halted in front of the house and went in. I desperately looked for my mother, but I guess it was my unluckiest day ever. She wasn’t there and her note by the fridge said that she won’t be back until the next day. I left the kitchen and went up to the room, bracing myself for what Sehun might fire at me. I was trying to figure out whether I should keep lying to him or not.

I sat on my bed, my heart hammering in my chest as if it was trying break free. Maybe I’d die of anxiety before he could even reach the room. I heard the front door close, followed by footsteps making their way towards the room. I felt a whimper escape my throat when I saw the door opening. Get your head in the game, Aerin!

I heard him moving at his part of the room and then he climbed the stairs to mine, his expressions calm, but foreboding. “We need to talk,” he told me.

I sighed, pretending to be exasperated. I was surprised that I managed to do that at all. “Whatever for?”

“You tell me.”

Oh ! “Me? What should I tell you?”

He sat on the rocking chair and looked outside. “Is it true, every word of it?”

I chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

He shifted his gaze to me then and eyed me intensely. Did I mention that he was really scary once he’s really mad? “I heard you…” He breathed in. “We heard you and Hee Jin talking, Chan Yeol hyung, I mean.”

Here it goes. I smirked at him and chuckled without humor. “This is really way easier than I thought,” I said, matching his ominous tone. I’m sorry.

He stood up. “We’ve heard every word. Is it true?”

I looked at him expressionlessly. “Be the judge of that, Sehun. What do you think?” He shook his head, but before he can say anything, I spoke again. “That’s really insulting, Sehunnie. You don’t think I’m capable of doing wh