Jann Arden - Insensitive

-Chan Yeol’s POV-

It hurts. It hurts so bad that I just wanted to disintegrate into nothing.

I walked out of the dining hall, feeling my breathing snag. I stood by the stairs, trying to drown out the sound of everyone’s voices. I was successful in doing that, however, my thoughts strayed to Aerin’s words just a few moments ago.

‘Quite the catch…I don’t think they’re special at all…They’re all after one thing…Pathetic!...I hate their sort…’ her words ran like playback in my mind and I couldn’t help but feel as if a thousand shards just made their way into my chest, puncturing my heart from every side. Ironically, I wasn’t bleeding yet.

While she was on it with Hee Jin, I heard her mentioning a plan. Too many questions flooded my mind, making my head hurt as I futilely searched for answers, rational ones. Was everything that happened all an elaborate plan to trap Sehun and me in this endless misery? Every word, every intimacy? I felt myself crashing down as the words I’ve heard earlier proved every notion. It was true. Aerin just played with us. She didn’t even spare Sehun, but then again, what was the plan? What was her purpose in doing it?

I trudged back to the room and when I arrived there, I felt the pain become full blown. For the last time, Sehun and I would be sleeping beside her and she will sleep soundly, knowing that we were both fools to have believed what she had pulled off. I sank down by the wall, staring up at the ceiling. Her smiling face flashed in my mind and I smiled back at it bitterly. I touched my lips, trying to remember the feel of her lips against mine. It was still there and I don’t think I’ll ever stop knowing how it felt.

Tried as I might, I couldn’t get myself to hate her. I didn’t believe a thing of it. Maybe I was really blinded by her. I was too in love with her that I failed to see her ulterior motive. She sent me up to the pedestal when she accepted me and I was too exhilarated to see that she was just about to make me plummet down to hell  while she smiled that way. I didn’t know what I did to her to make her do that and it was even a bigger puzzle for Sehun. I had one thing in mind in my case. I actually nearly killed her for not listening to Sehun, but I don’t see any fault in him that she might be holding a grudge against. Attention from her mother? It didn’t seem likely. She was intelligent and back at the hospital, she was even the one who tried to send her mother back to Tokyo for her business meeting, but then again, her mere intelligence was frightening. If everything was just an elaborate plane then maybe she had orchestrated the whole thing during the festival. She might be Bae Eunmi for all I knew.

I shook my head at the burdening thoughts. I can’t believe it. I don’t. She could have strangled me physically for all I cared about, but she wrenched out my heart with her meager words. It hurt so bad I wanted to die already. She was the first girl I’ve ever fell in love with, but it turns out that I’ve been duped.

I stayed inside the room for what seemed like hours, hugging my knees to myself while I rested my forehead against it. I didn’t even bother turning on the lights. It was too overwhelming. I wonder what would happen to Sehun. He looked as devastated as I was back at the dining room. I wonder how he could endure it being touched and smiled at by Aerin after what he had heard. Was I just overreacting? Did he know something I didn’t? Again, with the questions. I don’t understand anything at all

I few minutes passed in silence. I couldn’t even hear my own breathing because of the thoughts that had been pestering my mind. I couldn’t shun them if I wanted to. Just then, the very person that had been running through my mind came into the room, turning the lights on. I looked up and met her eyes. She paused by the door and smiled at me. I just stared.

“So this where you’ve disappeared to.” She chuckled and walked towards me, bending down to meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” she asked, her eyes expressing sadness as she searched mine.

I nodded.

“You sure? Why didn’t you join us downstairs?”

I managed a half smile. “I wasn’t hungry.” What are you doing to me?

She chuckled at that. “You’re on a diet, aren’t you? Kidding. Do you want me to bring some food for you here?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. Thanks anyway.” I love you.

She pouted then eventually giggled, turning around as she walked towards her luggage. “I see. We’re going to the hot spring. Care to join us?” She began taking out some things. How could she be this happy?

I clenched my fist, my nails digging into my palms. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I stood up and quietly made my way towards her. When she straightened up, I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her from behind as I rested my chin on top of her shoulder.

“Omo!” She stiffened, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to feel her against me. My senses were suddenly filled by her scent that sent me to the edge and without realizing it, I was nuzzling her neck and her shoulders. I wanted her. I grazed my lips on her shoulders, hungrily taking in what I could.

“Chan Yeol,” she said in a small voice, her breathing hitched as she clasped her hand on mine, but I refused to let her go, raising her hand to my lips instead, tightening my grip around her. My eyes remained closed as I indulged myself into the texture of her skin. Sehun might think that I was pathetic, but I was set on one thing – Aerin. She gasped, but n