Different Meanings
Memories of MemoriesA Pink “I Don’t Know” | TaeTiSeo “Baby Steps” | Wonder Girls “Friend”
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Tao’s POV~
It was dead silent in the room for what seemed like hours. The walls felt like they were growing taller and taller as the room grew bigger and I only shrunk in my seat. My hand was still holding onto Eunjae’s and I didn’t dare move a muscle.
I felt my heart beating against my chest as the blood pumped against my ear drum, blocking out all the background sounds heard in the hospital’s hallways.
After what seemed like hours but were in fact only seconds, she reassuringly squeezed my hand and gave me a small smile.
“I love you too Tao, you’re always there for me.”
Hearing those words come out of were the ones I were looking for. But the emotion and meaning behind them were totally different. She was completely clueless and oblivious, completely unaware of my true feelings. The way she said those words were like that of a sister, telling her brother that she loved him in a family sort of way.
But that’s just how she is; she wouldn’t know you had an interest in her unless you said it directly to her. Will I always be viewed like that? A brother, a knight, nothing more than that?
“Tao?” She asked, seeing as I’ve gone blank on her and haven’t said anything, my mind too deep into the thought of the matter. I wanted to try one more time and I muttered out,
“Pabo, not like that.” I wish she’d get the message that I love her so much more than a friend, so much more than I ever should after all we’ve been through together.
I looked up at her hopefully but she tilted her head to the side, asking me,
“Sorry I didn’t catch that, what’d you say?” I could only breathe out a sad chuckle, feeling as if fate already has everything planned out for me and doesn’t want our relationship to prosper any further than it already has.
I need to finally get the message across to me, convincing myself that I should just be happy with the way things are and I shouldn’t even have such selfish thoughts.
But…is it wrong to want something for once?
I knew this idea would take forever to try and accept, so in the mean time I’ll put it on hold.
“Nothing, I’m just happy that you’re alright.” I said, pretending to brush off the previous question. But it was true, I was glad that she was alright. She gave me another bright smile, something that I’ll never grow tired of and finally let go of her fragile hand.
I stood up and stretched for a minute, my joints popping from the stiff sitting position I’ve been in for a while.
I slung my back pack over my shoulder and told Eunjae that the doctor said she can come home tomorrow. My hand was already on the door when I heard her voice call behind me,
“Wait, so I did miss school today right?” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, wondering why she would ask me the same question she asked before a second time.
I turned back around and nodded my head. She sighed out in agitation and leaned back against her bed after waving me a final goodbye.
I shut the door behind me and scratched the back of my head in confusion, tossing the thought aside after concluding that I’m probably just being paranoid.
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