“How about staying here again?”

That is one of the biggest mistakes Sooyoung had done. No matter how hard she try to convince herself that the latter’s existence has no effect on her, it really is torture to her. Jessica agreed to move in again. She realized that she just set another trap for herself.

“Sooyoung, what are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” Sooyoung shook her head and kissed her girlfriend on her cheek.

“How’s your roommate?” Suzy asked because it’s the polite thing to do.

“She’s fine.” Sooyoung gave her a smile but Suzy knows her too well to believe that smile.

“It still hurts?” Suzy asked, her eyes full of worry.

Sooyoung sighed. She turned to face her girlfriend. The last thing she wants to do now is to hurt Suzy. “Honestly? It does.” She thought of the words before speaking again. “But it doesn’t mean that I still have feelings for her.”

Suzy chuckled. “Aren’t you being too defensive?” She then saw Sooyoung’s confused face. She caressed her girlfriend’s face. “It’s okay. I understand. She was really special for you. I just want you to promise me one thing.”

“What promise?”

“Please give me a chance to love you and give yourself a chance to love again.”

Sooyoung nodded slowly. “Sure, babe. You deserve it. Believe it or not, I was getting there. I actually thought I am ready to give you the love that you deserve. But ever since she came back it just..she just..”

“You’re confused.” Suzy ended the sentence for her. “Babe, promise me this also. If you realize that you can’t do this anymore and if you find out that you can’t ever learn to love me, just tell me. Please?”

Sooyoung hated herself at that moment. How could she hurt the person who has been there for her during her rough times? Why can’t she learn to let go of the past and just love this incredible woman in front of her. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I know that.” Suzy . “You should consider yourself lucky.”

“I do.” Sooyoung grinned. “I have the perfect girlfriend.”

“Sweet talker.” Suzy pecked Sooyoung’s cheek.

*

“What are you looking for?” Tiffany followed Jessica to a boutique in the mall.

“Sooyoung’s birthday is coming up. I’m looking for a gift.” Jessica kept scanning the shop for the perfect gift. She’s not looking for a particular item and she just kept looking  for an item Sooyoung might like.

Tiffany sighed. “I can feel that this is going to be a long day.”

“I have to choose for the perfect gift.” Jessica kept looking from shop to shop but she couldn’t find the perfect gift. “I can’t do this anymore. I want to make her happy on her birthday but I’ve just realize that I know nothing about her now.” Jessica felt like crying.

“Jessi, don’t overthink. Sooyoung didn’t change. She’s the same Sooyoung you fell in love with.”

Jessica found a bench and decided to rest for a while. “I’m so tired.” Jessica fans herself. “I’m tired. In all sense of the word.”

“Maybe it’s time to give up.” Tiffany laid out the suggestion. As much as she wants to be supportive of her friend, she didn’t want her friend to expect anything in return from Sooyoung.

“I’m not giving up no matter what. I won’t leave her again.”

“But she has a girlfriend.” Tiffany reminded her.

“I know that! Why do you keep rubbing it on my face?”

“Because it seems like you’re forgetting about it all the time.”

“I’m still her friend. I can give her a birthday gift. Now, be a best friend and help me find a gift.”

Tiffany sighed. “No matter what you give her, she’ll still like it.”

Jessica seemed unconvinced. Tiffany shook her head. “Maybe this can make you feel better. She still wears that shirt you gave her.”

“Really?” Jessica’s eyes sparkled.

Tiffany nodded. “She will surely love anything as long as it’s from you.”

**

Jessica woke up very early. This is the day. It’s Sooyoung’s birthday and she wanted it to be special for the two of them.

But when she entered the living room, she saw a familiar face. She has met the girl a couple of times before but this is the first time seeing the girl after she came back.

“Hi.” The girl greeted her. It was a very awkward atmosphere for the two of them.

“Hi.” Jessica forced a smile. She took a seat on the same couch but left a wide space in between them.

“Y-you’re waiting for her?” Jessica asked. It was a question with an obvious answer.

Suzy smiled and nodded. “It’s her birthday.”

“I know. I’ll never forget that.”

It was quiet for a while again but then Sooyoung came out of her bedroom. She has a party hat on her head and she looked so cute.

“Happy birthday to me~” She sang her way towards the two girls in the living room.

“What are you, ten?” Suzy laughed as she made her way to meet Sooyoung across the room. She kissed her completely forgetting about the two eyes watching them. Jessica quickly looked away when she saw the scene.

“I’m the iest ten-year old child ever.” Sooyoung joked around.

“Happy birthday, y.” Suzy greeted her and gave her another kiss.

“Ouch!” They both turned to where the noise came from.

It was Jessica gently rubbing her hands. “I accidentally hit my hand on the table.” It was the lamest excuse ever but she did not care. Sooyoung suppressed a smile. She knew exactly what Jessica was doing.

“So, are you ready?” Suzy asked her.

“Yeah.” Sooyoung answered.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I’ll celebrate my birthday with Suzy.”

“Oh, so you’ll spend the whole day outside?” She tried to sound indifferent.

Sooyoung slowly nodded. “Most likely. How about you, do you have plans for today?”

Jessica shook her head. She set aside her plans of spending the day with the birthday girl. It turned out that the latter did not include her in her plans today. That hurt. It is Sooyoung’s special day.

“Okay, we’re going now. Bye, Jessica.” Sooyoung said goodbye.

“Bye.”

“Nice seeing you again, Jessica. Bye.”

“Bye.”

***

“Sooyoung, let’s go home. You’re drunk.” Yuri took charge of Sooyoung again. Suzy couldn’t handle the drunk Sooyoung so she called Yuri for help.

They have successfully brought Sooyoung back to the apartment. Jessica looked so worried when she saw Sooyoung at her drunk state. “Why did you let her drink so much?”

Yuri sent a look to Suzy. Suzy felt guilty. “Sorry, I did not notice that she finished a couple of bottles already.”

Jessica knew that she has no right to blame anybody but her worry for Sooyoung took over.

“Sica~” Sooyoung whispered after she was laid down to bed. It was barely audible but because the room was so quiet, the three people in the room heard it.

“Yes, baby.” Jessica replied. She did not notice the term of endearment she used when she answered. But Suzy did not miss it.

“Don’t ever leave me again.” This was drunk Sooyoung speaking.

“I won’t. I promise.” Jessica touched Sooyoung’s face.

Suzy took a step backward. She can’t take it anymore. She knew Sooyoung was drunk but she also knew that this is Sooyoung’s real feelings and emotions. She tried getting Sooyoung’s attention the whole day but she kept on playing on her phone, texting Jessica once in a while. It was as if she was in competition with somebody who was not in the date with them and still, Jessica still won.

Yuri noticed Suzy left the room. She sighed. She thought that this situation is so messed up. Three people in misery because of love.

Sorry sorry sorry for the super late update.

I've been really really busy in school.

I will try to find time to write the next update since I want to finish this soon.

Again, thank you for the support.

And I would be inspired to write if I read all of your comments. :))