Jessica waited for Sooyoung at home. Tiffany went to calm her best friend after receiving a call from the girl.

 

“Jessi, stop crying. Sooyoung will come home and she’ll forgive you. She loves you too much to stay mad at you.”

 

Jessica didn’t stop crying. “She..loves me..and I hurt her…I didn’t want to hurt her.” She continued crying.

 

Tiffany couldn’t do anything but stay with Jessica and comfort her.

 

“Just say it.”

 

She was surprised to hear Jessica’s voice after some time.

 

“What?”

 

“Your ‘I told you so’. Just give me your lecture. You’re right. I should have listened to you.” Jessica has finally calmed down and has stopped crying by now. Her eyes are still red and swollen.

 

“I won’t do that to you. Sometimes you just have your stupid moment. You made a mistake but I know you didn’t mean to hurt her in the first place. I know how much you love her.”

 

“I never knew this I could hurt this much, Tiff. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling scared that I may lose Sooyoung. Maybe I already did.” Jessica wiped another tear.

 

Tiffany hugged her friend. “You won’t lose her, Jessi. You won’t.” She really felt bad for her friend and she prayed that what she said is really the truth.

 

 

*

 

 

Hours passed and still no news from Sooyoung. Tiffany was relieved that Jessica fell asleep after crying endlessly the whole day.

 

She heard the door opened and found Sooyoung looking just as hurt as Jessica.

 

“Sooyoung…” Tiffany called her to let the other know about her presence.

 

“Oh. You’re here..”

“Yeah, she called me. She fell asleep after crying the whole day.”

 

Sooyoung ignored it and walked towards the kitchen making herself a cup of coffee. “Coffee?” She offered Tiffany.

 

“No, thank you.” Tiffany sighed. “Sooyoung, she has a reason. The guy basically blackmailed her.”

 

“I’m tired.”

 

“She loves you.”

 

“I was referring to my day. I had my midterm exam for a major.”

 

“Stop ignoring what happened.”

 

“I’ll be in my room to finish studying for another exam. You should go home and rest.”

 

“I thought you’re better than this.”

 

Sooyoung stopped walking. It took a while before she spoke again. “I can’t believe the blame’s on me now.”

 

“I’m not blaming you but at least talk to her and fix this.”

 

“I’ve had enough of taking responsibilities. I have my limits too.”

 

She closed her room.

 

 

**

 

 

Jessica woke up to find the apartment empty. She hoped to find Sooyoung there but she didn’t. She saw the note Tiffany left.

 

Give her time and space for now. Everything will be alright. Stop crying and don’t worry, she came home last night.

 

Jessica felt her tears coming again. Sooyoung left and didn’t wait for her. She checked her phone hoping that Sooyoung replied to any of her messages. But there was nothing. She saw her wallpaper and she felt the hurt again. It was a picture of Sooyoung kissing her cheeks.

 

“Sooyoung, I miss you already.”

***

 

“Buddy, wait for me!” Taeyeon called Sooyoung as she ran to catch up with her.  She finally did and hit the latter’s arm lightly. “I told you to wait for me.”

 

“Let me guess. Tiffany sent you.”

 

Taeyeon grinned. “Maybe.”

 

Sooyoung scoffed. “I knew it.” She continued walking.

 

Taeyeon’s short legs tried to catch up. “Believe it or not, we’re concerned for the both of you. We’re not taking sides here.”

 

“Yeah, right.”

 

“I’m serious, Soo. You don’t want to do something that you may have to regret later on.”

 

“Don’t tell me what I should do with my life.”

 

“Why are you being so stubborn?” Taeyeon said louder as she intended it to be.

 

“Why are you being so nosy?”

 

“Because we care!”

 

“But you seem to forget that I’m hurt too!” That did it. Taeyeon didn’t know what to say next. She saw the hurt in her friend’s eyes.

 

“I understand.” Taeyeon said.

 

“As much as I want to understand her, I can’t stop feeling betrayed, insecure and jealous. I’m human too. I have feelings too.” Sooyoung mumbled.

 

“But if you need anyone to talk to..”

 

“I’ll come to you, relationship expert.” Sooyoung smiled for the first time that day.

 

“My pleasure.” Taeyeon grinned.

 

“Thanks, Taeyeon. Tell that to Tiffany also.”

 

“Sure.”

 

 

****

 

             To: Baby

 

          “Talk?Please?”

 

Jessica sent the message to Sooyoung. She hasn’t seen Sooyoung the whole day. Her only hope it to see Sooyoung when she comes home.

 

She almost dropped her phone when her phone beeped. She was excited and nervous at the same time to read Sooyoung’s reply. She frowned upon seeing the sender.

 

            From Donghae:

 

                        “Congratulations! You got the scholarship, babe.”

 

She should be happy right now. She finally got what she’s been dreaming all her life. She’ll study in her dream university. But what she’s feeling is far from it, maybe even the complete opposite of it.

 

Sooyoung doesn’t want to talk to her. She doesn’t know their status right now. She was excited to spend her first Christmas with someone she loves but it might not happen.

 

And then reality hits her. The scholarship is in a university in Japan. In the couple of months they’ve been together, she has grown too attached to Sooyoung. Will she be able to live far without her?

 

She jumped in surprise when she heard the door open. Her heart’s beating fast as she waits for Sooyoung to enter the living room.

 

Their eyes met.

 

She was expecting to see anger in Sooyoung’s eyes but what she saw made her regret even more.

 

It was hurt.

 

She has been thinking of what to say to Sooyoung the whole day but when she finally saw her, she was left with two words. “I’m sorry.”

 

Sooyoung sighed. “Do you even know what you’re sorry for?”

 

Jessica gulped. This is it. Her chance to save their relationship. “I’m sorry I hid things from you. But please let me explain.”

 

Sooyoung did not answer but she did not move either. Jessica took it as a signal to continue talking. “Remember about the article that would get me the scholarship? I was told to write about an article against the third .”

 

Sooyoung sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

 

“I was not supposed to do it. I was supposed to ask for another article. But then I found out that Donghae’s father was the one sponsoring the scholarship.” Jessica saw Sooyoung’s face changed at the mention of the name. She continued. “He proposed a deal to me. One date and I don’t have to write the article.”

 

“So it was a date.”

 

“I did it for you.”

 

“Wow. So I’m supposed to thank you now?!” Sooyoung knew she hurt Jessica with her words. The other girl started crying. It did not make her feel any better. She promised herself that she won’t hurt Jessica. “Sorry, I was being an . That was harsh.”

 

Jessica cried even more. “You’re not supposed to be saying sorry here. I made a bad judgment and I deserve to be hated. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but please baby, let me fix this. Let me fix us. I love you.”

 

She saw the sincerity in Jessica’s eyes but that’s not enough. Silence covered the room and only Jessica’s sniffs can be heard.

 

Sooyoung’s tears finally betrayed her and escaped her eyes. She thought of the future. Jessica will get the scholarship and what? She’ll owe Donghae her dream. It was him who made it possible for her to achieve her dream. Even Jessica’s mom love Donghae for her. Maybe there’s not even a future with our relationship.

 

“I don’t think if I can continue doing this, Jessica.” She broke the silence.

 

Jessica’s face was full of worries. “What do you mean?” She braced herself for the words to come.

 

“Let’s end us.”

 

“Are you saying-”

 

“I’m breaking up with you.”

 

 

 

---

 

/hides self

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 

 

P.S. The end is soon. Thanks for all the support.

P.S. (again) Silent readers, say hi please.