It’s been days since their heartbreaking conversation. Jessica still can’t believe that it’s over. She tried to change Sooyoung’s mind but the latter insisted that they remain friends.

They’re still staying in the same apartment though and it has been awkward ever since. It’s obvious that they still care for each other. Jessica waits for Sooyoung every night secretly while Sooyoung still prepares breakfast for Sica every morning.

Tiffany and Taeyeon came by that day. They wanted to celebrate the end of exams and also the start of Christmas vacation. Jessica welcomed them with a small smile and led them to the living room where she was reading a magazine.

“Where’s Sooyoung?” asked Tiffany.

“At her room.” Jessica answered. Her eyes lingered on Sooyoung’s door.

“How are you doing, Jessi?”

Jessica glanced at Taeyeon before speaking. They’re close friends now but she’s still not comfortable letting all her feelings out to Taeyeon.

“I’ll check on Sooyoung.” Taeyeon excused herself after getting the message.

“Jessi, how are you coping up?”

Jessica sighed. “I’m barely coping up. The truth is I still refused to believe that it’s over. I’m trying to pretend that we’re just both busy with all the exams and reports.”

“I’ve always thought that you’re perfect for each other.”

Jessica smiled but tears forming in her eyes. “I thought so too.” She wiped the tears before they could even fall. “One mistake…”

“On the brighter side, you got the scholarship.” Tiffany tried to cheer her friend. She knew that Jessica has been crying ever since the break up.

“Never knew this is how it feels to get that scholarship.” She smiled but her eyes showed nothing but pain.

*

“Jessica has been crying all week.” Taeyeon sat at the edge of Sooyoung’s bed while the latter continued typing on her laptop. “I know you still love her.”

Sooyoung couldn’t contain it anymore and spoke. “Just because you don’t see me cry means that I’m hurt any less.”

Taeyeon sighed deeply. “You don’t have to end your relationship though. One fight then you give up. That’s not the Sooyoung I know.”

“You don’t know me well then.”

“I know you well enough to say that you’re madly in love with Jessica and you still want to be with her.”

Sooyoung turned to Taeyeon. “Love is not enough. It’s not just about us. Her mom will never accept her. She’ll leave soon for Japan and that Donghae is still lurking around.” She stated the sad facts. “It’s better this way.”

“What if love is enough but you’re just afraid to fight?”

Sooyoung chuckled. “Never knew you can be like this, Taeng.”

“You don’t know me well then.” Taeyeon smiled at her friend.

“But seriously, it’s better this way. I still get to see her everyday since we live together.” She forced a smile. “It hurts knowing that I can’t treat her the same but I’ll get by.”

**

Tiffany and Jessica stopped talking when Taeyeon exited Sooyoung’s room. Tiffany was about to ask her about the other girl when Sooyoung appeared.

Jessica and Sooyoung found each other’s eyes. They were both longing for each other. “Y-you’re leaving?”

“Lunch.”

“Oh, you’re not coming with us?” Tiffany asked. She glanced at Taeyeon who was supposed to invite Sooyoung for lunch.

“I already have plans..with Suzy.” She looked down when she added the last words. If she hadn’t, she would’ve not missed the hurt on Jessica’s face.

“Oh okay.” Tiffany was not looking at Sooyoung anymore but at her best friend. She wanted to hug her right now.

“I’ll see you guys, later. Bye.” She waved gently. “Bye, Jessica.”

****

“Jessi, I’m talking to you.”

“Sorry, my mind’s somewhere else.”

“It’s just a friendly lunch.” Tiffany assured her.

“Huh?” She pretended that she didn’t know what Tiffany is talking about.

“You’re thinking about Sooyoung and Suzy right now. You barely touched your food. You have to eat.”

“I’m eating.” Jessica took a bite to show to her friends that she’s eating but that doesn’t mean that she’s stopped thinking about Sooyoung.

“Don’t worry. Sooyoung told me she was just helping Suzy with a project that’s why they’ve been hanging out lately.”

“So this is not the first time?” Jessica was surprised to hear that from Taeyeon. She hasn’t seen Sooyoung that much since that ‘day’ but she thought that was because the other girl was just avoiding her. But it’s not about her. It’s about Suzy. That was a stab in Jessica’s heart.

Taeyeon felt someone squeezed her hand under the table. She sent an apologetic look to Tiffany.

“She told me she still loves you!” Taeyeon blurted out in panic. She wanted to comfort Jessica but it backfired.

“It’s okay, Taeyeon. You don’t have to make me feel good. I guess I have to accept reality soon.” Sooyoung’s already trying to move on. It’s only been a week but Sooyoung had easily moved on.

Tiffany shook her head. She knew what her best friend is thinking. “Jessi, Taetae was telling the truth. Sooyoung still loves you and she has not yet moved on. You’re being stubborn again.”

“This is hopeless. I’ll never get her back.” Jessica dropped her spoon on the table. “I’m suddenly not feeling well. I’m going back to the apartment. Have a happy holidays, guys!”

She ran away from the restaurant before TaeNy could even react.

*****

Jessica fell asleep while waiting for Sooyoung. She woke up after a couple of hours when she heard some noise. She saw Sooyoung pulling a luggage. She panicked.

“Where are you going?”

Sooyoung chuckled at Jessica’s worried face. “Relax, Jessica. I’m not moving out. I’m just going home for Christmas vacation.”

“Oh.” Jessica was embarrassed for her reaction.

“We’re still friends.”

“Right.”

“Merry Christmas!” Sooyoung greeted her in advance since shes’ not expecting to see Jessica for a couple of weeks.

“Merry Christmas.” Jessica shyly replied. She was blushing because of the smile Sooyoung sent her.

“When are you going to Japan for your scholarship?” Sooyoung hesitated but still asked in the end.

“Next month. I’m not even sure if I’ll be back here after Christmas break. You can have the apartment for yourself.”

Sooyoung couldn’t hide her disappointment. “I’ll miss my housemate.”

Jessica smiled. “I kinda miss you already. I miss us.”

They stared at each other for a while. “How long will you stay there?”

“The scholarship is for a year.”

Sooyoung nodded. “So this is goodbye?”

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” Jessica said.

Sooyoung was secretly relieved. She can’t say goodbye either. “Can I just get a hug then?”

Jessica pounced on her. She hugged Sooyoung tightly while Sooyoung wouldn’t let go either. They pulled back after a while. Sooyoung wiped Jessica’s tears. She also wiped her own tears. “I still love you.”

“I love you, Sooyoung.” Jessica can’t help her tears from falling now.

“See you soon.” Sooyoung picked up her luggage and walked out of the apartment. She decided not to kiss Jessica because she’s afraid that she might not get the courage to leave anymore.

Sorry for breaking your hearts again.

I just had to do this.

By the way, your comments on the previous chapter were interesting.

Do I have to break your hearts just so that you'll comment? Hehe. Some people wanted to kill Donghae. Or me? LOL

It's nice to read comments from silent readers. I wanna hear all of your thoughts.

C'mon, please spare me a little bit of your time. 

<3