Chapter 36: It’s too late.

Please listen to: Lee Seung Gi -Last words. Gu Family Book Ost. 

(A/N: Read also the translation that's on the video. It really fits this chapter)

Youngmin POV:

I finished packing my things in my suitcase. I sighed looking down. Leaving her at this moment wasn’t something in my plans, but maybe that’s the best for us.

“Hyung, you’ll see that in four months you will forget about her. We will have so many things to do that you won’t have time to think about her” Minwoo patted my back. I ignored him and looked away.

I walked to Gaein’s room and laid down on her bed. Her sweet scent was still on the sheets. A tear rolled down though my face.

“I’ll miss you Gaein. Please take care” I muttered hugging her pillow.

Someone knocked the door and walked in the room. I looked up and saw Donghyun standing next to me.

“Youngmin, it’s time to go” he said and crouched so I would face him.

“Hyung” I hugged him tightly crying on his shoulder. “I can’t. I can’t do it. My head tells me to forget about her, to act like I never met her. But my heart, my heart tells me that she still needs me”

“Youngmin, she broke up with you. Don’t make wrong ideas. You’re just hurting yourself. After all, she loves Chunji. Feelings are feelings and maybe you both weren’t destined”

“Then why did she kiss me back? Why did she make me feel in that way? Why did she cry when I left?”

“Look Youngmin. I don’t know a lot about you and Gaein, but if you feel she still loves you then you should trust in her”

“I do. I trust in her” I muttered.

“We need to go to Starship to sign some papers and after that we’ll leave to Japan”

“Ok. I’ll be ready in five” I wiped my tears and exited the room.

-----------------------------------------------------

Your POV:

I was dumbfounded not knowing what to do. I came back home. Unnie was waiting for me.

“Did you find him?” she asked me worried.

“Yes, he already came back to his dorm”

“I’ll go to the airport in a couple hours to say goodbye to them. Do you want to come?”

“No, I’m going to the school…” I said and went upstairs.

I put on my uniform and looked at myself in the mirror. I had to be strong. This was definitely the best for us and I had to keep that in mind.

I took my backpack and hurried to the school. Unnie said something before I left but I didn’t pay attention to it.

When I arrived, I apologized with the teacher for being late and took my seat.

Classes passed in the blink of an eye. Or maybe it was because it was the first time I was paying attention to it. I decided not to think about Youngmin and to concentrate in class.

Anyway, it was recess time already. Since Boyfriend wasn’t here anymore I was eating alone at the cafeteria. Suddenly, a girl with white skin approached to me. She was very pretty. She had pink thick lips, and her eyes were bigger than common Asian eyes.

“Hi! You must be Yoon Gaein, right?” the girl asked me grinning.

“Yeah…” I answered tilting my head.

“Wow! I can’t believe you are Bora’s sister. That’s so cool!” She smiled. “My name is Lauren, I’m new here. I’m in 1^st grade”

“Nice to meet you” I bowed my head lightly.

“Unnie… can I have lunch with you? I… don’t have friends here because I’m newbie and my classmates weren’t nice to me” she looked down.

For a reason, she reminded me of myself. I always used to be so lonely, and in fact, I am still like that. For a moment, it would be great to have a normal friend who I could talk about everything.

I smiled widely to her and left an empty space on the chair before talking.

“Of course, honestly I don’t have any friends beside Boyfriend members… but they left to Japan so I’m alone now” she smiled and sat down next to me.

“I felt the same when I arrived to this country. I don’t know anyone. But I’m glad that you’re nice and you that you want to be my friend” she beamed a smile.

“Thanks. I really needed a normal friend right now” I smiled back.

“So, who else studies at this school? I mean famous people”

“You really like kpop bands, don’t you?” I laughed.

“Well, I love B1A4” she said excited.

“B1A4? I think one of them studies here… the youngest maybe…” I said not sure. But for the first time, it was something good to talk about something that wouldn’t include Boyfriend or Teen Top.

We talked all the recess and it made me feel good. Having a new friend maybe was something good for me.

I came back to class when my phone vibrated. I had a message from Youngmin:

“Hi! Mmm… we’ll be leaving in one hour. If you come to the airport, it means we still have a chance of being together, but if you don’t, then I will understand your decision of breaking up”

I gasped and ran away from my classroom, but something stopped me. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I kneeled on the ground.

“Gaein!” I heard someone screaming my name. It was Niel, who had run away from class following me.

“Eotteokke? I don’t know what to do anymore” I muttered.

“What happened?” Niel asked confused.

I gave him my cellphone showing him Youngmin’s message. He read it and then widened his eyes.

“Why don’t you go to the airport right now?”

“Because I don’t know if I’m someone good for him. I mean, when you love someone, it’s supposed that you must make that person happy. But I don’t feel Youngmin is happy by my side. I’m always giving him worries… I’m someone who can’t give him that. He’s an idol, and the only free time he has, he’s always worried. He’s always wondering if I’m eating well because of my anemia, if I feel well, if I’m happy, if I slept well because sometimes I have nightmares about my parent’s death, if I don’t get too stressed with my job, and other things… I don’t want him to feel that way” I looked down. Niel chuckled, making me turned at him.

“Gaein, when someone worries about you that means that person loves you. And from what I see… Youngmin really loves you” he smiled giving me a tissue. I dried my tears and looked at him confused. “Right now, you are also worrying about his happiness”

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head.

“What I mean is that loving someone is not only about being “lovey-dovey” it’s also about supporting and worrying about each other’s happiness”

“You think so?”

“I know that your relationship with Chunji didn’t work, but maybe it was because you were too young or too blinded by fantastic things that never existed. But I know that Youngmin really loves you and that you love him too. I can see it Gaein, you have changed. Now you smile more frequently and you are more confident of yourself. You even made a new friend today, before when someone tried to be friends with you, you would normally pushed him/her away. Youngmin has brought you to reality. And that’s good. He brought you back to life”

Niel’s words really hit me. He was right. Youngmin had changed everything in my life. He got me out of my lonely fantasy world and brought me to reality. Thanks to him, I’m stronger. But…

“But even then, I don’t think that making him worry about me too much is something good. I understand what you said about being in love also includes worrying, but talking about Youngmin and I is something different”

“How is it different?”

“He worries too much… I don’t know… sometimes I feel like I’m a bother to him” I muttered.

“Gaein, you aren’t a bother because he loves you. He feels happy when you’re happy, that’s the reason why he worries about you”

“But if you think about it, it might be tiresome. What if he gets tired of me like Chunji did? It’s better to do it now… it will be less painful”

“Do you know what your problem is? You don’t accept that you deserved to be loved Gaein. You are an amazing girl. And believe me; breaking up with him won’t change the fact that he will stop worrying about you. And HE’S NOT CHUNJI. The fact that Chunji hurt you doesn’t mean Youngmin is going to do the same. You should trust him”

“I trust him… but I don’t trust myself… I’m not that confident enough”

“Then you should start trusting yourself.” He paused for a moment and then spoke up “Now, go and tell Youngmin that you still love him and that you’ll give him another chance. If you don’t do it now, you might regret later”

“Thank you so much Niel. You are the best friend I’ve ever had” I hugged him tightly.

“Yeah, you’ll thank me later. Now, go to that airport”

I took a taxi and told the ajussi to hurry up. I only had 30 min. to get to the airport.

I paid to the taxi ajussi and ran as fast as I could around the airport looking for them. I found a group of fans standing there and supposed that they were there.

I approached them but I didn’t see any of them there.

“Excuse me, you are Boyfriend’s fans, right?” I asked gasping.

“Yes” one of them smiled.

“Can you tell me where they are?” I asked.

“Sorry, I think you are late. They just left. But maybe the next time you might be lucky”

I was late. It was my last opportunity to say “I love you” but I was late…I held back my tears and took my cellphone, maybe I could call him.

I called him but he didn’t answer. I remembered about Starship’s rules with my unnie while she was abroad: no cellphones and no internet unless it’s needed to promote something about work…

I cried on the floor. “I love you. I'll wait for you” was that so difficult to say? Why didn’t I tell him that this morning? I love you and I want you to stay by my side…

-------------------------------

Ok, so the reason why I hadn’t updated was because I had writer’s block :S

I seriously didn’t know how to continue this story.

But my inspiration is back. I hope that this chapter wasn’t lame… sorry for that.

Even then, I wanted to tell you that this story is coming to an end.

And I also want to thank you so much for all the support, your subs and comments are really important to me. I never thought this story would have so much support from AFF readers but it has it, so thank you so much.

Thanks for reading.

Ppyong!