Chapter 31: Let’s break up.

Your POV:

I heard screams coming from Chunji’s room. I immediately ran to his room. I was panting, my breathing was shortening, something bad was happening.

I opened the door and Chunji was screaming my name. He was crying and pulling his hair desperately. The nurse injected him sedatives to calm him down.

I walked to him crying. I was so scared. My jaw was trembling. I couldn’t stand to see him in that way, it was all my fault.

“Oppa… Oppa…” I sobbed.

“He needs you more than anything, please Gaein…” L. Joe said.

I stayed there all the night, next to him. I didn’t even sleep feeling worried about him. If he woke up I wanted to tell him everything was okay.

My eyes were closing but I resisted. It was already 6 in the morning. The door opened and when I turned I saw Youngmin standing by the door.

“Bora told me you stayed here the whole night. Did anything happen? Why are you so pale? Gaein, what’s wrong?” he cupped my face in his warm hands.

He looked me in the eyes with those sweet brown eyes. He slowly approached his face to me to kiss my lips, but I stopped him turning my head.

“What’s wrong?” he said with disappointment.

“What if he sees us?” I nibbled my low lip.

“What? Gaein, don’t tell me he still believes you are his girlfriend” he raised a brow.

“No, he’s remembering everything. But he’s not taking it very well. I think we must separate until he recovers… he needs me now” I said looking down. He sighed.

“I can’t believe this. What you are trying to say is that you want to break up with me and be with Chunji”

“NO! I never said that! I’m just asking you to understand that he’s going through a difficult moment and I can’t live him alone” I tried to explain to him.

“And what will you do when he recovers? Do you think he will just let you go so easily? Gaein, c’mon!” he screamed.

“Please low your voice” I stuttered.

“Gaein, what’s going on?” Chunji suddenly asked weakly.

“Gaein, go out. I need to talk to him” Youngmin said coldly.

“But…”

“Just go out” he ordered.

I didn’t have another option and exited the room leaving them alone. After all, Youngmin seems to know what he does…

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Youngmin’s POV:

I took a deep breath and looked at Chunji. He looked weak because of the sedatives. He glared at me.

“Why were you yelling at Gaein? Hyuna was right, you aren’t a good guy for her” He crossed his arms. I smirked.

“Hyuna? The last thing I knew about her is that she wanted to ruin Gaein’s life”

“Hyuna? Why would she do that? She’s Gaein’s best friend” He said confused.

“Not now. But don’t worry about that, you’ll remember that later”

“I want to remember it now. Not knowing what I did to her is killing me and seeing her with you is not something that I like” He frowned.

“I’m glad to hear that. At least now I know that you’ll fight for her instead of trying to suicide like a coward” I played with my fingers.

“What do you mean?”

“When you remember everything, fight for her. No matter what you have done, Gaein’s heart is good enough and she already forgave you but win this battle clean. I guess you want to be with her because she loves you, not because she pities you, right?” I said crossing my arms.

“What? Why are you telling me this?” He asked me puzzled.

“Because I want her to choose one of us, but if I’m going to fight this battle, I want to do it right. I want her to choose the one she loves, not the want she feels pity for” I said with a serious voice.

“So, what you are saying is that…”

“I know that you’re going through a difficult moment getting back your memories but I won’t take Gaein away from you if you don’t take her away from me. Let her decide, and then, when she makes up her mind, we both will accept her decision. Deal?”

“Deal. That the best man win” he smirked.

“I’m glad to hear that. But don’t be too confident. I may look weak, but I’m stronger than what you believe” I smirked.

After giving Chunji a reason for living, I exited Chunji’s room. Gaein looked at me worried. I smiled at her and poked her nose.

“You look tired. I’ll take you home. And you’d better eat something and take your medicine. I don’t want you to get sick” I put my arm around her shoulder.

She stayed in silence the way to her apartment. I was very worried about her.

She plopped her body on the couch and sighed. She was lost into her thoughts. Her face was pale, she looked weak and she had dark circles.

“Don’t worry Gaein, Chunji will be alright. I already talked to him. He said he wasn’t going to give up” I held her shoulders trying to make her look at me but she looked down.

“You don’t understand it” she muttered.

“What I don’t understand?” I asked her.

“How it feels, wanting to be death… you don’t know how it feels”

“Gaein… I just want to do what’s best for you. I don’t want you to be with someone just because you pity him” I caressed her cheek. She pulled my hand away. I felt a hole in my heart.

“I don’t think I will be better if he suicides because of me. You don’t have idea of how it feels to carry someone’s death in your conscience. You just prefer that someone to be alive instead of you, you feel that you don’t deserve to be alive. I’m already carrying my parents’ death, and I don’t want to carry Chunji’s death” she cried.

“Gaein, your parents’ death was an accident, it wasn’t your fault. You were just a little girl. And you didn’t do anything wrong. The reason why Chunji tried to suicide was because he couldn’t forgive himself for what he did, not because of you Gaein” I screamed.

She looked so sad and lifeless. She was frozen, she wasn’t moving. I was shaking her shoulders trying to make her react.

“Gaein listen to me!” I screamed with all my strength, shaking her body.

“You don’t understand it, right?” she muttered

“What are you talking about?” I cried. What was happening to her?

“You don’t understand it. You don’t understand my feelings, so stop talking like you know me because you don’t” She screamed.

“Gaein, please calm down. You’re tired, you need to rest and think about everything, and then we’ll talk, ok?”

“No! I just want you to leave me alone! Just until Chunji recovers, then we can talk”

“Gaein…”

“Can’t you see it? My feelings for you aren’t clear enough that’s why I’m asking you some time”

“I understand that. But I can’t leave you alone. If you want to be with Chunji for now, then do it. But I won’t leave you alone. Just look at you. I can’t let you get depressed and I can’t let you continue blaming yourself for something it isn’t your fault!”

“I already made a decision Youngmin, and I chose him. I chose Chunji. I love him, not you… I’m sorry”

“No, you don’t. You are just saying this for making me stay away from you and go with Chunji because you don’t want to feel guilty about what’s going on. But I already told you it isn’t your fault”

“No, Youngmin. I have been thinking about it, we should break up. My feelings for you aren’t very clear and I… I think I still love Chunji… The only reason of why I was with you is because I wanted to fill the space that Chunji left. I wanted you to be like him. I tried to forget him with you but I couldn’t. Chunji is and will be my first and unique love, so please just go away and let us be happy…”

My eyes filled of tears. I had to be strong. She was lying, right? I needed to fight for her, I couldn’t leave her alone. She needed me, just like Chunji needed her, right?