I'm so stupid.
Please Forget About Him and Smile (Editing)
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Chapter 33: I’m so stupid.
Please listen to: Ft Island- Because I don't know how to love (and read the lyrics, it really fits Chunji's feelings)
Chunji’s POV.
“Youngmin…” Gaein said wide eyes after she opened the door.
“Gaein” I smiled.
“Well, I need to go to practice, so I have to leave” Youngmin said and exited the room. He didn’t even look at Gaein, maybe they fought.
“Oppa! How are you?” she said with a bright smile.
“Fine my princess. Now that you’re here, I’m very happy” I smiled.
“I’m glad to hear that. I didn’t like to see you so angst and worried. Oppa, I’ll be here with you no matter what. I want you to remember this when you get back all your memories” she smiled weakly.
Right, I should tell her that I already remembered everything and that I feel fine. But if I do that, then she’s going to run to Youngmin again. It might sound selfish but I want to have her at least for a moment and prove her that I still love her and that we can be together just like before.
“So, what do you wanna do today?” she asked tilting her head. She’s very cute. I still can’t believe how I could have left her for that stupid of Hyuna.
“Mmm… what about taking a walk around the hospital’s garden? I’m very bored here” I pouted.
“He he! Ok, Oppa. But I need to ask the doctor if you can go out. Wait me here” she chuckled.
I sighed and tried to calm myself down. I need to get her back to me. I don’t think that is possible to forget about her.
“Let’s go Oppa” she walked in the room and took my hand.
We walked together hand in hand in the hospital’s garden. She was wearing a very cute pink dress.
(A/N: it’s the dress that Youngmin bought her, remember?)
Her hair was held by a headband and waved with the wind. She was so beautiful as always, her fair skin and her thick lips. But, she looked so sad…
“Gaein, is there anything wrong?” I asked her.
“Uh… no, everything is alright” she smiled weakly.
“Do you remember when you got hospitalized and we came here and had a picnic with the food I made?” I held her hand tightly.
“Yes. You brought tons of food, and you didn’t prepare the food, you bought it” she pouted.
“Oh! So you caught me” I laughed.
We stopped by a big tree. I held her and spun her body so her back would be against the trunk.
I stepped closer, our faces just inches away. I her hair, wanting it to be sweet making her relax her body that was tensed up by my last action. Her breath was shortening and was a little opened in surprise. I looked her in the eyes lifting up her chin so she would look at me.
“I love you baby” I whispered in her ear.
I slowly got closer to her not leaving spaces between our bodies. My heart was fluttering, I was so nervous. I didn’t know how she would react, if she still felt something for me.
My lips touched hers softly. She was still tensed up. I caressed her cheek and with my free hand held her waist gently. She slowly kissed me back much to my pleasure I smiled in the kiss and bit her low lip. She hesitated and stopped for a little but I didn’t let her with my tongue asking for entrance. She slowly let me in, but then this strange feeling hit me.
The bitterness of her kiss, she wasn’t feeling alright and I, I was feeling guilty knowing that Youngmin came here and supported me in having a fair battle.
She broke the kiss looking down she gulped. She wasn’t feeling great, her eyes trying to hold back her tears.
I kissed her again. I can’t lose her. She still loves me as much as I do. She just needs to remember it, to feel me.
The kiss became passionate. I couldn’t control myself and my lips went down from her lips to her neck giving her butterfly kisses.
“Chunji… stop…” she stuttered frozen. Her eyes were closed and her jaw was shaking.
In that moment I saw her red wrists. I hadn’t realized she was trying to push me away but I held her strongly hurting her wrists.
“I’m sorry…” I muttered with my hands shaking.
Suddenly, a memory came back to my mind. Something that happened between us that made us separate.
*Flashback*
It was the day before I was leaving to Jeju Island. I had convinced the guys to let us be alone in the dorm.
I prepared a special dinner for her. She finally arrived. I looked myself in the mirror and arranged my clothes.
I opened the door and saw her standing cutely at the door. She was wearing a flare pink dress.
“Oppa!” she smiled widely.
“Come in my princess” I held her hand and pulled her in the dorm.
“Wow! Did you prepare this by yourself?” she said amazed.
“Yes, baby” I whispered in her ear putting my arms around her waist giving her a back hug.
“That’s so sweet of you Oppa” she looked down shyly.
I pulled her chair and she sat down.
“Candles, food and music. Wow! You really prepared everything so well” she smiled.
“Well, it’s the last night we can be together. We won’t be able to see each other for six months” I shrugged.
“I’ll miss you Oppa” she pouted cutely.
“I’ll miss you too sweetie” I took her hand.
I poured some wine in the two cups. I drank some of it.
“You should drink some. C’mon try it” I smiled passing her the cup.
“I still don’t have legal age, remember?” she raised a brow.
“Oh! Yeah, I forgot it.” I chuckled.
After eating we sat down on the sofa to watch a movie. I looked at her big brown eyes and caressed her soft cheek. She looked at me and smiled.
“I love you my princess and I’ll miss you so much” I told her and slowly approached to her face until our lips touched.
She kissed me back sweetly and the kiss slowly became passionate. I was on top of her and my body was heating up. I pulled down the strap of her dress but her hand stopped me.
“Oppa, please stop” she said.
Her face was pale and she was trying hard not to cry. Her arms were red from my strong grip.
“Why? Don’t you love me?” I asked her.
“Of course I love you Oppa, but I don’t want to do this” she muttered and ran away from my apartment crying.
“Aish! You ruined it all babo. But I thought she wanted it as much as I did. I mean, doesn’t she love me?”
*End of the flashback*
I’m so stupid, cheating on her just because I thought she didn’t love me. I don’t even know why I listened to Hyuna. “If she didn’t want to do it with you that means that she just doesn’t love you”
No Hyuna, you’re so wrong. I don’t even know why I heard you and didn’t trust in Gaein’s love. She really loved me, it’s just that she wasn’t prepared for that, but I ruined it all.
“Oppa, Oppa, are you okay?” Gaein asked shaking my shoulders getting me back into reality.
“Uh? Yes, I’m so sorry Gaein. I shouldn’t have kissed you in such an aggressive way. It’s just that I’m so afraid of losing you” I apologized with her.
“You won’t lose me Oppa, don’t worry. Just don’t do that again it scared me” she hugged me.
“I promise you I won’t do that again. I love you Gaein”
I waited for her answer, but she didn’t say a word. I hugged her tightly.
“I love you too… Chunji” she muttered. A tear rolled down to her cheek.
Why do I feel she's lying?
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Ok, so I didn’t know if I should have rated this M or not.
So, if you feel it’s too much please tell me and I’ll rate it M, it’s just that I don’t know exactly till which point you should rate M. Or maybe I feel like strange because I wrote something like that?
But they didn’t do anything. Even then, it was something that I wanted to write so you could understand Chunji better.
I hope you liked it. Please subscribe and comment.
Oh! And thanks to the new subscribers and for your comments. I really appreciate your support.
Thanks for reading!
Ppyong!
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