Chapter 23: It’s not what you think…

Your POV:

Youngmin looked at me with sweet eyes and smiled shyly.

-      Then, in that case… would you give me a chance? –he said looking straight into my eyes.

I was frozen and I didn’t know what to say, I was speechless. I never thought he would say that. I tried to say something, to describe what I feel for him, but my heart was so confused.

-      Youngmin, I…I… -I said stuttering.

-      It’s okay. You don’t have to answer me right now. Please think about it and tell me tomorrow your answer. See you tomorrow. –he said smiling sweetly and kissed my forehead softly.

-      See you tomorrow. –I said nervously.

I opened the door of my apartment and saw unnie with Hyunseong watching a movie together. I passed them because I didn’t want to disturb them, but unnie called me.

-      Gaein, Andy sunbaenim called you. He said he needed the song for today. –Bora Unnie said making me turned to her.

-      Really? OMG! Then I need to rush to TOP Media. – I said picking up my things with the song I wrote inside.

-      Do you want me to take you there? –Unnie asked.

-      No, it’s okay. You continue watching your movie and I’ll be back in some minutes, it’s not far away from here.

-      Please take care and wrap up, it is cold outside.

-      Yes, unnie. –I said and walked out of the apartment.

I ran to TOP Media and came in the building panting. I stopped at the reception.

-      Did Mr. Lee already leave? –I said panting.

-      Gaein! Calm down, Mr. Lee is still waiting for you at his office. – The receptionist said smiling.

-      Thanks God. –I smiled.

I took the elevator and went to Mr. Lee office. I knocked the door.

-      Come in. –he said.

-      Good evening Mr. Lee. I’m sorry for being late. –I bowed politely.

-      I already told you to call me Andy or sunbae. You make me feel old. –he said chuckling. –Anyway, did you bring me my song?

-       Yes, here it is sunbae. –I said giving him the envelope with the new song.

-      I’ll hear it and if I like it, that I’m sure that I will, I’ll call you to give you your check.

-      Thank you sunbae.

-      No, thank you for writing amazing songs for us. Oh! By the way, I heard you got sick. You should take care, if you feel sick, you can tell me about it. I don’t want you to feel pressured because of your work.

-      Thanks for worrying sunbae, do you need anything else?

-      No, it’s okay. You can go home now. Wait, it’s very late now. I’ll ask Chunji to take you home, he’s still rehearsing. I would take you home, but I still have some work to do.

-      It’s not necessary. I can walk home by myself. It’s not far away from here. –I said shaking my head.

-      I can’t let you walk alone on the streets. I’ll tell Chunji to accompany you, I don’t think he won’t accept my offer, he likes you.

Great! What I needed today, Youngmin just practically confessed to me and I’m not sure about my feelings. And now, Chunji will walk me home. That will make my heart feel even more confused.

-      Chunji-yah, Gaein is here in my office. Could you take her home?

I face palmed myself mentally. I seriously don’t want to see him. I think I’m not… prepared.

I heard someone knocked the door and Chunji appeared. I closed my eyes and sighed.

-      Gaein-ah! I’m so happy to see you. I’ll take you home. –he said with his sweet voice.

I stood up from my seat and looked at him. He gave me a warm smile and then nibbled his low lip waiting for my answer curious. I sighed.

-      Let’s go. Thanks for everything sunbae. And I’m sorry if I made you wait. –I said bowing politely.

-      No, thanks to you Gaein. Say hi to Bora for me, ok?

-      Yes. – I said bowing again.

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Please listen to: 2AM- You Were Mine.

I turned and passed by Chunji going out of Mr. Lee’s office. He followed me.

-      Gaein, wait! Didn’t you hear Andy sunbae? He asked me to take you home. –Chunji said grabbing my arm. I glared at him.

-      Just leave me alone, ok? I can walk home by myself. I’m not a little kid anymore. –I said breaking free from his grip.

-      Gaein, please. I would never forgive myself if something happens to you. –he said looking straight into my eyes.

-      Okay. –I said defeated.

We walked together in silence out of the building. It was very cold outside, since it’s already winter. I started shivering. Suddenly I felt Chunji wrapped his coat around me. I looked at him.

-      You’re freezing. You should have considered it’s already winter. You can catch a cold if you don’t wrap up.

I looked down feeling so confused. How can he talk so naturally like if nothing happened? Like if he never had hurt me?

I continued walking without even saying a word. Chunji of course spoke again.

-      Did you like my performance? I don’t know if you knew about it but… I dedicated it to you.

I sighed without answering. Seriously this guy is freaking me out. I’m dying inside because of you, because you make me feel so confused, because I can’t stop crying for you every night. But he comes so fresh and talks to me so naturally like if anything happened. I hate him so much.

-      Why don’t you answer me? I need to know what you think about it.

-      Can you just shut up? Seriously, you’re freaking me out! –I yelled angry.

-      Whoa! What’s wrong? Did I say something that got you mad? –he said looking down.

-      How could you be like that? How can you act like if anything happened? Like if everything is alright?

Tears started rolling through my eyes. I felt pain in my heart but also a feeling of bitter anger in my throat. Chunji hugged me, I immediately pushed him, but it was worthless, he was too strong.

-      Please just let me go! –I said punching his chest.

-      I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes I want to forget everything and act like if everything is alright. I try to pretend that everything is perfect and only for this night, I wanted to feel like in the old times. Just you and me, walking together and chatting about our daily lives. I’m sorry if I made you feel hurt about it. I just want everything to be like before…

-      But it can’t be like before Chunji. Can’t you understand you hurt me? Do you know how I felt the day you said it was real? I just wanted to die. Do you know the pain my heart felt every time I saw you walking with Hyuna hand in hand? Do you know how I felt every time I remembered all those memories about you? How I felt all those times I asked myself what I did wrong to make you ran away with her?

Chunji broke the hug and held my shoulders looking straight into my eyes. His eyes were full of guilty. He wiped my tears delicately with his thumb.

-      I’m sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. And I regret about it every day. –he said quietly.

-      I’m sorry, is that all what you say? I’m sorry? –I said sobbing.

-      What else can I say? I’m sorry, I’m really sorry Gaein. I promise you I won’t hurt you again, if you just give me one more chance, I’ll do everything alright this time.

-      You promise? How many times I heard those words? I promise you this, I promise you that. But you broke all your promises. How can you do it alright when you are always breaking your promises? When you never see what I’m going through, when you just think about yourself and what you need. How can you be that selfish?

-      Gaein, I know that I hurt you. But I have changed. I can prove you that, if you only give me one more chance. For the love we had once for each other, please Gaein, let’s just try it again.

-      I don’t know, I don’t know what to do. Why can’t I just get you out of my mind and go on with my life? I just hate this. I don’t want to cry again because of you. I don’t want to keep waiting for you. And I don’t want to love you…

-      Well, I don’t want to stop loving you Gaein, because you are the best that could ever happen to me. And I can’t let you go, not again.

-      But I want to stop loving you, because loving you is too painful. Being in love with someone like you is tiring and hurting. Trusting in you all the time is tiring; waiting for you all the time is hurting. Can’t you see I just want to forget about you?

Suddenly, he pressed his lips against mines. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. He softened his aggressive lips, turning into a sweet one.

Unexpectedly Youngmin’s face flashed over my mind when I was giving up to Chunji’s kiss. It was so weird. I reacted and finally broke the kiss.

I breathed heavily and glared at him.

-      What the hell do you think you’re doing? – I yelled upset.

-      I was proving you that we still love each other.

-      What?

-      Yes, you just said you wanted to forget me, but you kissed me back.

-      You’re insane. Just leave me alone! –I yelled angry.

I walked quickly to my house looking down. Suddenly, I bumped into someone.

-      I’m sorry. –I said bowing.

-      You don’t need to say sorry. I guess I already know your answer, right?

I raised my head to see a sad Youngmin in front of me. OMG! Did he see us kissing?

-      Youngmin, it’s not what you think… -I said explaining myself.

-      Don’t worry; I think I perfectly understand what is going on. I think I was the one being fooled this time. –he said with teary eyes.

-      Youngmin, I …

He ran away without even letting me explain him what happened. I ran after him but he was too fast. My breath was missing and I tripped. I sprained my ankle, so I wasn’t able to catch him up. Tears kept rolling through my eyes. I couldn’t catch up my breath.

I just wanted to explain everything to him, even when my feelings weren’t sure about him. I wanted to explain him what happened. For an unknown reason I wanted him to know the truth.

-      Youngmin, please just listen to me. I would never do that, you know that I want you to stay by my side… I don’t know why, but if you leave me, I think I will die. –I said crying on the ground wishing he could hear me, wishing he could believe in me…

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Please don't kill me! I know you all wanted Gaein to say yes immediately, but she was still confused and now Chunji ruined it all.

I'm sorry for making you suffer, but there is some good news: I'm on vacations!

So, I will update frequently.

I'm thinking about doing a Christmas Special Chapter. I don't know, what do you think about it? Would you like it?

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Thanks for reading!

Ppyong!

A/N: Please also read my new fanfic:

Taming the Rebel Princess.http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/305194/taming-the-rebel-princess-korean-romance-youngmin-boyfriend-fiction-forbiddenlove

I have put a lot of effort in writing it, like describing and stuff. I hope you like it ;D