13.08.2014 (Wednesday)

Where someone confessed to me. I’m so sorry, but I don't reciprocate your feelings…

It was the usual lazy morning where most students were forced back to school because the teachers thought they were not as prepared for the finals close to the end of the year. That day was concentrated all around Mathematics, but I didn't feel in the least bored as Soojoon was my seatmate.

"Hey did you watch those crack videos they uploaded?" I whispered, glancing at the teacher once in a while in case he found out that we were chatting instead of practising those questions he set. Oops, I'm a bad student...

"Yep! They were really funny!" He quietly chuckled.

Apparently he laughed a little too loud, because our teacher perked up and glared in our direction, causing us to immediately pretend to scribble something on our papers.

"Shush, not too loud!" I punched his arm lightly.

"Hey Jihyun, since it's approaching the end of the lesson, I have something very important to say to you." Soojoon stopped, his eyes scanning my face for a reaction, which was a simple nod for him to know that I was listening. "I... I like you."

The lead on my mechanical pencil broke because of the sudden strength I was stressing on it. I turned away, ashamed to face him, as both of us knew that the person I liked was someone else.

"I... don't know what to say..." I muttered, unable to form a better reply.

"You don't have to say anything, I knew you liked that Squishy guy from the start, I just wanted to let you know my feelings towards you. You don't have to feel guilty or whatsoever, it was just a wishful thinking on my part."

"Soojoon..."

"Jihyun and Soojoon! How many times must I warn the two of you to keep your mouths shut?" The teacher yelled.

"We're sorry, seonsaengnim." I apologised, my head lowered.

"You better be." He turned his attention to his watch. "Alright since there's only five minutes before the bell rings, I'm letting all of you off now. Goodbye class."

"Goodbye, Park-seonsaengnim." The whole class chorused in a flat tone.

I stared hard at my paper while the rest of the class packed their bags in a hurry to get home as soon as possible, Soojoon included. And for the first time, he went off without me.

After the short encounter, of course I would feel down. I kind of felt that I was leading him on, and that it was my fault for keeping his hopes high. All in all, I felt terrible.

The sight of Squishy managed to cheer me up a bit, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Soojoon said. Was I being too selfish?

"Yo Jihyun!" Squishy seemed to be in a really good mood that day, and I didn't want to dampen his spirits, so I forced a smile.

"Hey Kyungsoo-oppa." I croaked.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh you know, school and stuff." I tried to shrug it off.

"You look like someone punched you in the gut." He commented light-heartedly, a half-attempt to crack a smile from me.

"That's because I was, literally." I mumbled under my breath.

"What? I didn't catch that."

"Nah it's nothing much."

After I took a seat on a chair in the shop, I pondered hard and long about how I could go along salvaging the friendship I had with my friend. I mean, he was an extremely good friend and I wouldn't want to lose him over this incident.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice Squishy sitting down beside me with a drink in his hand. "Cappuccino Oreo? This may cheer you up." He offered the cup to me, to which I took gratefully.

"Thanks." I gulped down a quarter of the cup’s contents in one go.

"So what happened?"

"If I tell you, promise you won't tell anyone, not even Kai?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"You remember Soojoon?" I waited for a reaction before continuing, "he confessed today."

I could see Squishy tense up from the corner of my eyes.

"So what did you say?"

"Me? I rejected him..." I took a sip from the straw of the sweet drink before letting out a huge sigh.

"Oh." Squishy leant back on his chair as his arms folded.

"I feel so bad though." I slumped against the back of my chair.

"Don't be if you don't feel anything for him I guess."

“Guilty…” I groaned.

“Jihyun, everyone had been through that phase before, he’ll get over it sooner or later.”

“True though.”

“Good, so keep a smile on your face for the rest of the day!” He ruffled my hair before attending to a customer who arrived at the storefront.