"She's dead?" Jaehyun gaped at Eun Ah as he took her bags and led her to his living room.  She took a seat on his couch while he brought her a glass of water. Eun Ah looked at her feet and nodded before filling him in on the events of the last few nights. She strategically left out Yongguk in the story and just spoke around him.

Jaehyun let out a sigh, but his eyes were still widened. "This is unbelievable. I didn't hear anything about a fire at work. I can't believe she's really gone, she was such a sweet woman. Do they know what caused the fire?"

Eun Ah shook her head and played with her finger. "They said something about foul play and arson, but that's all I heard."

She didn't want to go into the topic but he was giving her a place to stay so the least she could was tell them what had happened.

Jaehyun stared off in silence before shaking his head, "I'm amazed they don't have a lead yet."

"They have no idea who would have a grudge against Halmoni or the restaurant and quite frankly, neither do it."

They shared a moment of silence, both probably thinking about the selfless old woman that brightened their lives.

Jaehyun tilted his head at Eun Ah. "Wait, why do you need a place to stay though? I thought you said you moved out of Halmoni's place years ago."

Eun Ah absentmindedly traced around her ring finger, "I did, but I moved in with some people a few years after I moved out of Halmoni's place but I no longer live there either."

"Your boyfriend's?" Jaehyun asked quietly as he looked at her. Eun Ah remembered that Jaehyun had seen her and Yongguk act like a couple at the hospital before.

Nope. More like husband.

"Y-yeah, something like that. After Halmoni's death, I just needed time to myself to figure things out. Her death was a big shock to me and I still don't know how to handle it."

Jaehyun shook his head, still looking dumbfounded, "I totally understand. I know she was close to you and it must be so hard, are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded meekly, "I am. Thank you for asking and thank you so much for letting me stay here."

Jaehyun waved her off, "Oh please, it's nothing. I can't imagine what you're going through. You're a friend and I have no problem letting you stay."

Eun Ah smiled gratefully, glad that they didn't share any hard feelings. It felt the same from when they hung out before.

Jaehyun stood up and dusted his pants off. "I'll just go and check on your room and make sure it's set up. Just make yourself comfortable."

Eun Ah nodded as he made his way to one of the doors in his apartment. She looked around the living room before she stood up and walked over to the fireplace and scanned the photos that were set up above it. There were pictures of him and his brother, him and Woon, him graduating from the academy and him as a baby.

It was sweet, seeing these sides of him. He really did deserve someone special.

Jaehyun came out of the room wearing a jacket and holding his keys, "Well, it's late. You can take the guest room, usually my brother or friends stay in it but you are more than welcome to use it for as long as you need."

He carried her things to her room and bid her a goodnight before heading back to the precinct. He had an emergency call he needed to attend to and said he wouldn't be back until morning. He left her directions to the stores nearby for her to grab food before heading out.  

She looked around and took it the simple but lavish room. It had light blue walls with white furniture. There wasn't much in it but it was still welcoming.

Eun Ah could feel the events of the day starting to wear her down. Her muscles ached and her lids were getting heavy.

She moved her bag onto the bed, figuring it was time for her to sleep.

She ped her duffle bag and pulled out some clothes to change into when her fingers brushed soft fabric.

She knit her eyebrows at the grey material, she didn't own anything in that colour. She pulled it out of the bag and held it out to see what it was.

Yongguk's sweater.

She must have packed it by accident when she was in a rush.

Her stomach dropped and her eyes started to burn when she stared at the sweater. It was the same sweater that he'd toss at her whenever she was cold. He'd always carry it with them just in case it got chilly.

She'd always complain that he didn't need to bring it but she'd always end up wearing it by the end of the night. It was just so soft and comfortable.

After a while it had just become her sweater.

She'd wear it when they went on late night walks or when all her pyjamas were in the laundry. He'd always say that she looked better in his clothes than he did. He'd make her wear anything of his at any chance he got because he said that he liked the way his clothes smelled after she wore it.

She let out a shaky breathe. She brought the cloth up to her nose and took a whiff. It was still so strong, as if he was standing in the room with her, wearing it. Her stomach clenched when she took in his distinct scent.

It reminded her of home.

The same home she had left and given up. She didn't deserve the right to miss or long for him. She brought this onto herself so now she had to deal with the aftermath of missing him.

She bit her lip and wondered if she was still allowed to wear his clothes even after everything that just happened.

She was mad at him, she was furious that he handled Halmoni's death without her permission. She hated that he tried to keep her death a secret from her and interfered in the moving of her body.   

But she still missed him.

She paused before slowly pulling her t-shirt over her head and slipping his sweater over her bare body.

She looked down at herself, the way the cloth fit against her perfectly before collapsing on the bed with her head in her hands. She had no idea what she was doing anymore.

She knew that it was Ryu. It was always Ryu, he was the source of all her problems and all her pain.

But she just felt let down by Yongguk.

It wasn't just because he pulled his men off of Halmoni's store. It was also because he took control of Halmoni's passing himself, not even giving her a chance to say goodbye. She felt robbed.  

Am I being fair, though?

She swallowed the feeling of guilt down . She was blaming Yongguk for killing Halmoni. Maybe that wasn't fair.

She knew that logically he wasn't ALL to blame, but he still wasn't off the hook either.

She died under his protection, so how could she frolic around with him?

It was as if she was betraying Halmoni.

She laid on her back and pulled the covers over her head. It felt weird being in that room, alone. It smelled like pine, which was pleasant, but it felt foreign because pine smelled nothing like sandalwood.

And Yongguk always smelled like sandalwood.

Her body wouldn't let her relax into the mattress and instead she felt stiff, unable to make herself comfortable in a bed that wasn't hers.

She swallowed her tears as they rolled down her face and stared blankly at the ceiling.

She felt so alone and confused. These were the moments that she missed her parents the most, the times when she was conflicted and just needed advice. She needed to know if she was doing the right thing or if she was just hurting herself along with the people around her.

"Never forget to remind yourselves why you got married in the first place. When you remember that love, all the arguments become superfluous."

But there was no love when we first got married. It was just an emotionless act.  

Jinbum's words echoed in her head. She tried to think of why they got married in the first place.

It was to protect her.

Yongguk had given up his own future to be married to a girl he had never met. He had put just as much on the line as she did. He didn't know that he'd fall in love with her but he still married her.

Even though they didn't start out in love, they ended up in love.

Without her permission, her mind started reminding her of how she felt when she was kidnapped.

She could recall exactly how she felt when he was on speaker phone and how everything just felt better after hearing his voice. Every bruise, every cut and every scar healed at the sound of his voice.

How could she find someone like that again?

How she had longed for him every second and was willing to do anything just to get a glimpse of him.

Did she feel like that now?

Yes.

"Spend more time fighting for your love than fighting with your love."

She didn't know how to fight for her love when he was the thing she had to fight against.

But she wasn't even sure if she had to fight him at all.

it, I'm not sure of anything at this point.

She turned to her side and stared at the empty space beside her. Even though the bed was queen sized, she still curled up on the right.

Her side of the bed with Yongguk.

He always slept on the left and she always slept on the right.

She couldn't find it in herself to sleep in the middle. She knew that if she tried, she'd just feel uncomfortable and wiggle back onto her side.

She spent 26 years sleeping in the middle of her bed, but after 5 months with Yonggu