Eun Ah tightened her arms around Yongguk's shoulders as he adjusted her on his back. She had started limping on the walk back home because of her ankle that he had demanded that he give her a piggy back ride back to their house.

She buried her nose in his neck and let her eyes droop as she fought to stay awake.

"Does it still hurt?" Yongguk asked as his fingers pressed into her thighs.

She brought one hand up and slipped it under her shirt to prod the gauze that covered her new tattoo.

The people there were really nice since it was her first tattoo and it tempted her to go back some other time in the future if she ever wanted to get more. They joked around and especially when she reached for Yongguk's hand. For a group of men who were covered in tattoo's and piercings, they were squealing like teenage girls at their skinship.

"It's kind of sore, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore."

"You almost cut of the circulation of my hand when you were squeezing it, not to mention the tears." Yongguk said with a hidden smirk.

"Tears?! I didn't cry! What the heck are you talking about?! Were you holding some other girl's hand because I did not cry!"

Yongguk snickered as she wiggled restlessly on his back. He let go of her leg briefly to grab her wrist to press a kiss to the back of her hand in surrender.

Eun Ah settled down and pouted before leaving a kiss on that one spot behind his ear, making him smile. She liked when they communicated like that.

Through small kisses.

Sure they knew how to talk to each other and do things other than kissing, but when they had petty little, teasing arguments like that or when they were just silently lazing around each other, they'd speak through kisses.

'Sorry, love' kisses.

'Just stop talking' kisses (which were mostly directed at her).

'Stupid idiot' kisses.

'Truce' kisses.

'You ' kisses.

'Stop picking on me' kisses.

'Fine, fine' kisses.

And her most favourite,

'I love you' kisses.

Eun Ah lightly swung her legs as his strides got longer, "I can't believe I went through with it"

Yongguk chuckled as their house came into view, "Well I'm glad you did because it looks hot."

There was a moment of silence between them before Eun Ah yanked a hand full of his hair back.

"AHHHHHHH! OWOWOWOWOWOWOW! Jeez woman! I was joking!"

Eun Ah let go of his head and smiled into his neck, "I told you to stop being y."

"If you want to get even then just be y back." Yongguk said while hissing through his teeth.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Well too bad, buddy." She said before turning her head away from him.

"Tease." He muttered under his breath.

"Says the man who can't keep his hands to himself for half a second." She retorted, feeling the heavy weight lift off her shoulders with their light banter.

"I can drop you on the side of this road and make you walk back yourself if you want me to keep my hands to myself so badly." He threatened jokingly while easing his grip off of her.

Eun Ah whined childishly and wrapped her legs around him, crossing her ankles right above his belt, "Please don't."

Yongguk chuckled and walked up their driveway before setting her down on the porch. Suddenly her stomach felt sick at the thought of walking in there, forced to face the real world.

The last few hours felt like a momentary escape from the realities that were waiting for her behind those doors.

She had learned to accept parts of what Woon had dropped on her. Learning that her parents were not in a drunk driving accident, the fact that her mom was an ex-member of the Devlin Clan, the fact that Yongguk and his parents knew her father, her father being partners with Woon and even Himchan being her brother settled with her quickly.

They were things that would take time to adjust too but she didn't fight.

Her father might being alive was something that scared and excited her, but she didn't want her mind to linger too long on something that could disappoint her. It was in her best interest to just act like her father was dead until Woon came to her with legitimate proof.

To her those seemed like minor details, but there was one thing that was never leaving her mind. There was one thing that was driving her up the wall.

It was the person that took it all away from her.

Yongguk slid his keys into the lock before Eun Ah gripped his arm. He glanced over at her and saw the frown on her face and the darkness in her eyes.

"I want him dead."

He blinked at her before a confused laugh left his lips. "He's your brother now, Hwang, you can't keep threatening him ."

Eun Ah shook her head and dug into his bicep, "Not Himchan. Ryu. I want Ryu dead even if that means killing him myself."

Yongguk's body tensed and his face darkened. For the first time since they had gone on the clean up job, Eun Ah saw the gang leader side of him.

He was always so protective and careful around her that she often forgot that he could be very violent and cold hearted when it came to his job.

She could see the changes before her.

His jaw clenched together, his eyes shifted into daggers, his muscles tensed as if he was preparing for an attack and his every fibre screamed authority.

"No. You can't want that. I won't allow you to." He said before opening the door, letting them both in.

They both stepped in and were welcomed by B.A.P who were sitting in the living room, deep in thought. They looked up when the two walked in but none of them were able to get a word in.

"What do you mean no? I wasn't really asking for your permission, Yongguk. I was just letting you know about a decision I already made."

Yongguk had to remind himself not to glare at her and ended up staring blankly back. "I'm not letting you get into this."

" in? Too late, I'm already in. I was in the minute Ryu met my mom." She spat back, hating the fact that a man whose face she had never seen was able to control so much of her life.

Yongguk felt the initial shock melt away and tried to reason with her.  "This isn't you, Hwang. Your life shouldn't be filled with pining after revenge, your only goal shouldn't be someone's death. You're better than that."

Everyone watched in interest. Their leader had really come a long way with Eun Ah. The last time they fought, he was spitting words at her, yelling until the both of them were red in the face, but now he was speaking to her like he was scared she was going to break.

Eun Ah snorted and looked away, "You don't know what I am. He took my parents away. HE TOOK MY BROTHER AWAY! HE SHOULDN'T DESERVE TO BE ALIVE!"

Himchan froze from the top of the stairs, just barely out of view, and watched the exchange happening below him.

"Do you know what that's like? To find out that one single person is responsible for taking your entire life away from you? You're right, this isn't me, but that doesn't mean that I can't change. Do you know what I'd give to have a brother 26 years ago? Being an only child gets lonely and having to learn things about life on your own gets hard because there is only so much you can talk about with your parents. I would've loved to have him around but I couldn't because my parents had to hide him for Ryu. Hide him."

Yongguk swallowed and watched her yell. What she was asking for wasn't a small favour and it wasn't something that could happen overnight. He just didn't want her to become like him who spent years of his life going after someone that didn't even really matter to him.

He didn't want her to lose herself.  

"When I found out that he was my brother, I couldn't help thinking about all the times we could've played in the park as kids or all the times he would've pushed me off the slide. Or all the times he'd pick on me and make me cry but make up for it by beating up bullies. We could've been a family but we're not. All that's left of us are broken, ed up adults with abandonment issues." She sneered.

"You want Ryu? Hwang, you wouldn't kill anyone even if you were holding a gun. You're not a violent person, you're not a killer. I know you're mad but you can't destroy the rest of your life by chasing after him. You said so yourself, you could've had a family, but there's nothing stopping you from having that now! You found your brother, so instead of chasing after the cause, why not try making up for lost time with him?"

Himchan felt his throat dry up before turning back into his room.

Yongguk shook his head and stared back at her, "You're white, Hwang and you want to know why bad guys don't wear white? It's because you can't clean blood off of white. Once that's on you, it's on for life. You'll have that on your hands until you die and I don't want that for you."

"Why won't you let me have this? You'd do the same thing if you were in my position!" She shouted back. She really thought that when she told him, that he'd nod and help her take Ryu down. That he'd be just as enthusiastic but his reaction now, was confusing her.

"Because you're not me! You're so much better than me!"

"So? Things like losing your parents to a mad man tends to people up. Just because I'm not like you doesn't mean that sometimes I can't act like