"I love you."

Eun Ah groaned when she woke up, her eyes blinking slowly as her mind rushed into consciousness.

She didn't know why, but the minute she opened her eyes, the words 'I love you' rang loudly in her ears, as if someone was repeating it right into them. It was like when you woke up singing lyrics to a song you hadn't heard in ages in your head.

She looked down at her uninjured, left hand and frowned when she stretched her fingers. Her hand felt cramped as if she had held onto something for hours and now there was a distinct coldness in the gaps of her fingers. Her heart suddenly felt empty, when she woke up alone. She wasn't sure what she was expected but it wasn't to open her eyes to loneliness.

It was because she was so spoiled with waking up next to Yongguk for the last 4 months of her life. It was something that she was the most excited for. Just opening her eyes, stretching her arms out and rolling over into Yongguk's warm, awaiting hands.

It was a distinct, unmatchable heat that blended with his sandalwood scent that made him so cozy and soft that she'd sometimes consciously curl into him, tucking her head under his chin before dozing back to sleep.

He probably thought that it was an accident that they woke up like that when the truth was, she just liked it when he held her.

She'd never tell anyone, but her heart would always jump up when he would reflexively pull her into his chest, caging her against him on the most relaxed mornings.  

There was nothing more comfortable than Yongguk and there was nothing she needed more. Which was why the bed just felt too big when she was all alone.

God, why was it so hard for her to be alone without him?

She had spent 10 years of her life with no one, but now it was like she couldn't think straight without him near her.

She looked over to her bedside table and gasped when the bouquet of roses were switched with a bouquet of pink, purple and white tulips.

They were beautiful.

"HAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

Eun Ah looked up as everyone piled into her room with bags of goodies and bright, hopeful expressions.

All but one.

The same one that had yet to come see her.

Eun Ah smiled at them, trying not to let her eyes show disappointment when only 6 of them walked through the door.

"You don't need to buy me new flowers every day, Yongmi."

Yongmi's face twisted in confusion until her eyes landed on the new set of flowers.

God he's really over doing it.

She smiled sheepishly at the elder's amused look but even Eun Ah's masked eyes couldn't fool the members. Even after getting shot at and beat up, her eyes still held more pain for every time Yongguk didn't come through the doors. His absence was effecting her more than the bullet wound.

If only she knew what it was doing to him.

Only the members were able to see both sides of the coin.

They got to see Eun Ah fake happiness when they knew that the one person that she really  wanted to see was avoiding her. They saw her fight through the pain and pretend like everything was alright when in actuality, her heart was taking hits with each day. They had to be careful and make sure that they don't accidentally say Yongguk's name and make her miserable.

And most importantly, they had to see her heart break.

When they went home, it was a different story. They got to see Yongguk fake like his world wasn't collapsing from missing her. They got to see him eating away in guilt as he stubbornly refused to see her. They saw him sneak out at 9:30PM each night just so that he could spend a few hours with her, without her knowledge, and they got to see him come back in the morning, completely devastated from having to leave her.

And most importantly, they got to see his heart break.

"Are you feeling better?" Jongup asked as he made a beeline straight for her.

"A lot better, actually. It's still hurts and it still feels uncomfortable, but it's a lot more easier to deal with."

Himchan strode casually into the room and tossed an envelope at her. "Here, I got something for you."

Everyone watched in anticipation as Eun Ah peeked into the envelope. Her eyes scanned the contents before a scowl appeared. It was hard for her to read with one eye but she got the message loud and clear.

She whipped it straight at his head but he dodged it smoothly. "You're a ing jerk, you know that?"

Himchan cackled evilly and picked it up of the ground. "So are you or aren't you?"

"NO, I'M NOT GOING TO COMPENSATE YOU FOR GAS, YOU LITTLE HEAD! TAKE YOUR STUPID RECEIPTS BACK BEFORE I SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

Everyone let out a collective groan at Himchan's behaviour. Yongjae shook his head looked at Himchan scoldingly.

"Wow, who are you trying to fool? Didn't you almost beat Yongguk up when you found out she was missing?"

Silence filled the air as Youngjae mistakenly let the buzz word slip.

Himchan didn't even acknowledge Yongjae's jab at him and immediately followed the rest of them as they swivelled their eyes at Eun Ah whose head was already hanging low, her hair blocking her eyes as tears dripped slowly down her face.

She willed herself to stop crying but the tears had already welled up, forcing their way to drip on her hands.

She laughed heartily, but everyone could hear the vacant space in her voice, indicating the frail emptiness in her attempt to play her tears off. Her laugh just sounded so hollow that it was obvious how fake it was.

She couldn't blame them for saying his name, he was a member of their family too. She just wasn't ready to hear it ro