Day third, week second of spring’s first month, year sixth of Hakumei.

This was the last year of prime minister Arioka Daiki governing Hakumei; the third year ever since Tanaka Ryosuke and his family returned to their homeland.

Ryosuke pushed himself to walk toward a certain place in the residence. The master chamber in the south wing was his destination. Once the door came into sight, his chest tightened. He had not visited the chamber for months because it was too painful for him just to be there.

He slid the door open. A scent of citrus welcomed him. It was still strange for him. In the past, whenever he stepped in, the flowery scent of Mirai’s perfume would faintly fill his sense and he would see her inside, writing her journal or just waiting for him to go to sleep. Now, it was only darkness remained.

He lit the light up, and immediately noticed how empty the chamber was. Despite unoccupied, the chamber was clean and tidy. He assumed it was Nami or Mother Akemi’s work. He approached the bed. The bed was neatly made. No one had ever sleep on it since almost a year ago, not even he.

He opened the drawer beside the bed, and found what he was looking for. As he got the thing in his hand, a memory resurfaced and he could not help but smile.

It was a certain night in the autumn. He was about to reach the door of his chamber after checking his son, but the shoji was slid open before he even moved his hand, revealing his wife.

Mirai smiled in an instant, saying, “I was about looking for you.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” he returned the gesture.

“Apology accepted,” she tangled her arm with his. “Now, it’s time for you to sleep.”

“I’ll clean-up first,” he said, leaving the chamber for the bathhouse.

A few minutes later, he returned. She helped him to take his shirt off, leaving him only with sweatpants and inner vest, then put the sleeping robe on.

As she stood before him to knot the waist-tie, he played with her hair, saying, “It reminds me of the first time you helped me to dress up.”

She replied while adjusting his robe, “You mean the time on your twentieth birthday?”

“Yes,” he answered, now holding her by her shoulders. “That was honestly embarassing, you know.”

She giggled briefly, and he never got tired hearing it, “I was more embarassed than you. You should’ve used to have maids helping you, but that was the first time for me helping a man to dress up.”

“You never helped anyone? Your brother or father?”

“Never,” she replied after releasing herself from his hold and walked to the bed.

“Somehow knowing that makes me glad,” he said before turning toward the vanity to take his ear-piercing off. He noticed something lied on the vanity.

He felt her staring at his back when he asked, “Were you writing entry for your journal just now?”

“Yes. Why?”

He turned around to face her, grinning,  in his hand was her journal. “You need to be careful. I may accidentally read it.”

She widened her eyes in surprise, added by panic when he made a move as though intending to open the book.

“Don’t!” She quickly climbed down the bed and dashed to him. “Don’t read it, Ryosuke! That’s my privacy.”

“But you put it in a place where everyone can take it,” he lifted the book up and away when she tried to grab it from him.

Chuckling, he lifted the book higher when she stood on her tiptoes while balancing herself by holding his arm to reach for her journal. After a time, she eventually gave up.

“Give it back to me, Ryosuke,” she pleaded. “Please?”

He chuckled shortly before knocking the book weakly on her head, “You’re reckless. Old habit die hard, hn?”

He held out the book to her which she took immediately.

“Keep it in a safe place,” he said. “Even a simple note can generate a problem sometimes.”

He walked pass her toward the bed. She put her journal inside her drawer and locked it then took her place beside him soon.

“I’m sorry for being reckless,” she muttered, sitting right beside him.

He only responded with his gentle smile that she said never failed to make her heart flutter even now.

Nestling to him, she called with hesitant voice. “Ryosuke?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think I should stop writing and discard my old journal?”

“Why should you?” He asked back.

“Because as you said, it may cause a trouble. I’ve recorded things people shouldn’t know about.”

He pulled her to him by her shoulder and rested his head against hers, answering, “It’s fine. As long as it’s kept safe. Besides, that’s a stress-reliever for you. You can let out anything you can’t tell to anyone by writing. That way you wouldn’t bottle up your feeling inside.”

“I’ll be careful.”

He dropped a kiss on her temple, uttering, “Let’s just sleep.”

When he sank down under the blanket, she followed and lied down. Once he was setled on his side on the bed, she shifted closer and snuggled to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. It had always been like that. She could not be away from him. His warmth and scent could always soothe her and lull her to sleep, she told him once.

“Hey, Mirai,” he called out.

She tilted her head to look at him, meeting his gaze, “What is it?”

Running his fingers among her tresses, he asked, “If I ask for your permission, is there any chance you’ll allow me to read your journal?”

The question caught her off guard. With wide eyes, she asked back, “Why do you want to read it in the first place?”

“I’m just curious. So,” his eyes questioning. “Will you?”

“No. It’ll be embarassing. I wrote about you a lot.”

A grin broke on his face, “That get me more curious. Let me, please?”

She untangled herself from him and shifted away to the furthest side of the bed. “No way.”

“Please?” He rolled over to her side, bossoming her.

“No,” she said in between her chuckle as she was ticklish when he blew air to her ear.

“Don’t do that,” she pouted when he repeated tickling her.

He smirked, “No, unless you let me,” and he started to poke on her ribs.

While chuckling and asking him to stop, she tried to wriggle and move away from him, but his hold was still too strong for her.

“I give up! I give up!” she almost shouted.

He grinned triumphantly. “So, you will let me read it?”

Managing her breaths, she got into serious mood. “It contains so many things I kept in as my privacy. It’ll be very embarassing for me to let someone else read it,let alone you,” she muttered softly.

“So, the answer is still no?”

“Please understand, Ryosuke,” this time she seriously pleaded.

He shrugged, his grin turned into a warm smile, “Alright.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No. Why should I?”

“Because I didn’t let you read my journal?”

He let out a brief chuckle while ruffling her bangs, “No need to worry. I was just teasing you.”

She frowned in protest, only earned more of his chuckle.

“There, there,” he patted her head while snaking his other arm around her waist to pull her to him even closer, muttering close to her ear, “Sorry if it’s too much for you.”

He subsconsciously tightened his hold on the thing in his hand. It was a black covered book with the name Mirai written on the cover. Mirai’s diary. It was the last of the three journals Mirai had written down. It was the book that contained the story of her life since she arrived at Ryuusei till she returned to Hakumei. It was the book she would never let him read...

If only she is here...

Looking around, he ran his hand over the bed sheet.

This place was the witness of his happiest and worst time. On this same bed, he used to have night talks with Mirai, joked with her, saw her in smile and tears, and shared their passionate loves, enjoying each other’s company. One by one, his memories flooded his mind, and immediately his chest hurt. He toned down his emotion to ease his breath. It was always liked this lately. Whenever he got distress, it would be difficult to breathe as his heart beat a lot faster. That was also the reason he did not visit this chamber for so long, but today, he could not contain his yearning for her.

He stood up and walked to the corner of the chamber. He retrieved a box from the closet and put the book in, keeping it with all Mirai’s belongings. However, he could not bring himself to close the box as, inside the box, he spotted a framed sketch of he, Mirai, and Ainosuke which was drawn by Ainosuke two years ago lied on the neatly folded indigo kimono he presented for Mirai. His holds tightened even more against the wooden lid that they started to bruise. A lone tear finally leaked out.

I miss you, Mirai.

**********

It was already night when Yuri arrived at the Tanaka-Nakajima shared-residence after doing a trip from the capital of the South East Province carrying out his duty. He wanted to visit Ryosuke whom he had not seen for months. Ever since they returned to Hakumei, he had been living separately from Ryosuke which sometimes brought up a regret in him. Back then before they departed to Kyoukai from Ryuusei, Ryosuke had made him promise to live by himself if the time they returned together to Hakumei came. Thus, when it did come, he had to refrain from breaking his promise. He had been living in Chinen residence in the capital and joining the academy led by his father as a trainer.

Then, since the last two months he had been assigned to do a bid for the government in the South East Province, and he decided to stay with Ryosuke during the time. Two weeks ago he had to leave to the downtown because of his mission, and it had him missed his friend so much.

Once he secured his horse in the private stable behind the house, he straightly headed to a certain chamber in the south wing. The light in the chamber was dim so he assumed the occupant had gone to sleep. He slid the shoji door open carefully as to not make any noise.

“Oh, Yuri, when do you return?” a woman’s voice drew his attention first before his eyes found the person he was looking for.

He bowed a little to Lady Akemi who sat on a stool beside the bed. “I apologize if I disturb you, Shida-san. I’ve just arrived.”

Lady Akemi shook her head, smiling motherly, “It’s fine. You must’ve wanted to see Ryosuke, ne that you even didn’t change your traveling clothes.”

As the name was mentioned, his gaze quickly darted to the bed. He found the figure he had longed to see since he left for the capital two weeks ago lying on the bed.

“Is he sleeping?” He asked as he noticed Ryosuke’s even breaths.

“Yes,” Lady Akemi refocused her attention at Ryosuke and he used the chance to get closer to the bed.

Ryosuke’s head tenderly, Lady Akemi added, “He has taken the sedative again.”

His heart clenched as tightly as his fists. “Again? How many times he did it while I was not here?”

“This is the fourth in the last two weeks. He hasn’t