Ryuusei, Day 2nd, Week 10th of Summer, Year 21st of King Yamato’s reign

Ainosuke is changing. He is still my sweet son, keeping smiling and being cheerful. Yet, he is developing new habits. Everyday, in the morning he continues his swordsmanship training under Umika’s monitoring or with Kano-san and Takeshi-san when they visit us, and sometimes I would give him advice in archery as Ryosuke taught me. After finishing training, he would immediately prepare himself to follow me to clinic. When I’m working, he usually goes to Hayato-san’s home, busying himself in doctor Hayato’s private library while giving company to Mariko-san. Going home from clinic, he would go helping Umika with anything, baking or cleaning the house. In the night, he would be reading the books he borrows from Hayato-san.

I’m not sure about it, but I’m starting to get worried.

He is indeed special like Ryosuke said. He has been able to read and write ever since he was three just after briefly taught by Yuri-kun, while children generally start learning when they’re in their five or more. He likes playing with numbers, and he is quick in counting. He draws very well, and his sense of arts is good. He has strong memorization. And he loves reading books so much ever since he could read, and it develops more after Ryosuke arrived. For a kid, Ainosuke has uncommon interests, and among all, history is his favorite. He is taking after Ryosuke more than I’ve ever thought. Those qualities of his are prominently seen these past weeks ever since we returned to the capital that Umika, Hayato-san and Mariko-san could not help to be amazed. Yet, with those improved abilities, comes the worry in me.

Ainosuke had refused to return to school. I remember he told me that he already knew what the teachers taught him, and that the former reason he went to school was to play with his friends, but now he wants to learn more and play less because he has promised Ryosuke to study and train harder. Ainosuke is alone with himself most of the time. Riku and Shota currently are the only friends Ainosuke interacting with. Rather than playing with his friends, now Ainosuke prefers to spend his time with books.

He is growing so fast mentally and he works really hard in everything, especially in what Ryosuke had taught him: swords, archery, languages. I’m afraid if it keeps going, somehow he will lose himself. I’m afraid that he is just running after his father’s shadow. I do want Ainosuke to be a great man like Ryosuke, but I don’t want him to grow as his father did. I need to make sure my son won’t grow up in the solitude.......

**********

Yuri was sitting outside a certain building, waiting for Ryosuke to finish meeting with the local government. Some of Hakumei’s officers coming with them were accompanying Ryosuke inside, discussing about the condition of Hakumei’s refugees and the likes, while the rest were waiting just like him. Yuya had asked him to monitor Ryosuke’s health, and he could not help but feel anxious when he was told that Ryosuke had deliberately arranged his mission to be carried out in tight schedules in which they should move fast from one place to the next. It would not give Ryosuke enough time to rest, and it could worsen Ryosuke’s health and quicken the rate of the deterioration.

He heard steps coming closer before the door was pushed open. Shaking hand with Ryuusei’s officers, Ryosuke and team soon left the office to return to where they stayed temporarily. Night had already fallen when they reached their homestay. He immediately instructed the maids to prepare for Ryosuke’s warm bath.

“You look like my babysitter, now,” Ryosuke chuckled briefly. “Anyway, I’ll have a meeting tonight. We’ll be discussing about the preparation before we hold a public meeting with the refugees the day after tomorrow.”

“Don’t stay awake too late. You need to take a rest and drink your medicines.”

Ryosuke smiled at him before leaving to take a bath. He himself went to clean-up, and after they finished, they joined the rest of their group to have dinner in the dining hall. They were with fifteens officers in total, and Ryosuke as the leader could blend well with the officers. He wondered whether no one of them recognized Ryosuke as the former king of Hakumei, but judging by their looks, he was sure that no one did. They only knew Ryosuke as Tanaka Oji’s nephew who was promoted to be leading officer by Takaki Yuya. He himself was recognized as Satou Yuri, a refugee who became Ryosuke’s guide during the mission.

After having dinner, Ryosuke led them to the main hall to hold a meeting. Ryosuke stood up and explained about their plans while the officers listened attentively. Watching them from the furthest seat on the back row, he noticed Ryosuke’s tired gestures. Ryosuke often put a hand and gave occassional light massages on his nape, and in the mid of the meeting, Ryosuke sat down on his chair, not kept standing like Ryosuke used to do when leading a meeting. He was worried. It had been two weeks since they started the journey. Ryosuke had not gotten any contraction though they had been taking a little time to rest. Yuya had warned him that Ryosuke shouldn’t overexert himself since it would stimulate the contraction. Tiring himself might lower Ryosuke’s endurance and it would increase the rate of the deterioration, too.

The meeting eventually ended slight before midnight. He prepared Ryosuke’s herbs by himself while Ryosuke was doing paperworks. He could have delegated the task to the servants, but he could not be careless. He wanted to make sure that the medicines were properly served and safe.

“Drink your medicines then sleep,” he told Ryosuke while putting down the tray on a table.

Ryosuke who was sitting behind his working desk halted from writing and looked up smiling at him, “Give me an hour, Chii.”

“Half,” He answered, and when he saw Ryosuke was about to bargain, he added, “You’ve promised Mirai to take a good care of yourself. So, no staying awake over midnight.”

Ryosuke heaved a sigh, “Fine. Half an hour.” Then continued working.

He watched his stubborn friend working. He and Ryosuke shared a room with separate bed. It was necessary so that he could monitor Ryosuke’s condition all the times. He knew Ryosuke was not happy with the arrangement, but it was the condition Yuya had set for Ryosuke to be allowed to go in this mission.

Ryosuke put away his quill exactly half an hour later, then stood up and took the herbs. Drinking the medicines, Ryosuke frowned slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“No, nothing,” Ryosuke answered.

He lied down on his bed only after Ryosuke did so. When he saw Ryosuke shut his eyes, he decided to go sleep.

“Hey, Chii,” all of a sudden Ryosuke called out.

Turning his head toward Ryosuke’s bed, he answered, “What?”

“When will I see your kid?”

“Huh?”

This time, Ryosuke reopened his eyes, staring at the ceiling, “It will be a waste if you decide to live by yourself. Though it’s your right, but this is not the life I wished you to have when I freed you from being my shadow.”

His brows knotted as he listened to Ryosuke.

“I really wish you to think about your own happiness, Chii. I wish you living freely, but now I still chain you to me. It feels not different as if you’re still my shadow.”

“Do you dislike me for staying by your side?” he grew worried.

“That’s not what I mean,” Ryosuke replied calmly. “You have taken care of my family all this time, being the father figure for Ainosuke and protecting Mirai, and now you’re taking care of me, too. I’m really grateful for your kindness, Chii, but I don’t wish you to devote yourself for me. You need to think about yourself.”

He pondered over Ryosuke’s words before asking, “Why do you suddenly bring this up?”

Ryosuke heaved a sigh, then told him, “I feel that I become a hindrance for you and Umika. I thought you two are a good match, but turned out it doesn’t work that way. You know, it’s rarely happen for me to be wrong in reading people.”

“Don’t feel guilty. I and Umika are friends. I don’t have romantic feeling for her thus I couldn’t accept her sentiment, not because of you.”

“Are you sure you don’t have a feeling for her? Because I saw you treat Umika differently than the way you treat Mirai.”

“Because she is different from Mirai,” he quickly answered. “Mirai is your wife, thus I think of her as my sister. But Umika is a friend and my sparring partner.”

Ryosuke turned his head to look at him, smiling gently, “It seems to me that you’re still unsure about your own feeling, Chii. Do reconsider it before it’s too late.”

Too late?

“Sometimes people only realize the importance of something when they has lost it,” Ryosuke added as though reading his mind.

“Good night, Chii,” Ryosuke ended their conversation and left him pondered over his words.

When he closed his eyes, Umika’s image appeared in his mind. He remembered her expression when he asked her to still be his friend. She was at loss for a moment, and he could see hurt in her eyes. Yet, in the end, she smiled and nodded her agreement. The following days, he and Umika spent time together for sparring and talking normally, as they used to do.

I don’t have any romantic feeling for her. She is just a friend, but...

He never felt uncomfortable seeing her with his colleague in their trial dates back then, but...

“Ne, Takaki-kun, why do you step this far to help Ryosuke?” she asked when they were meeting with Yuya.

“I’m merely fulfilling my part in the agreement,” Yuya replied.

“Is that so? But I see you’re really worried about him.”

“Can’t I?” Yuya retorted.

She chuckled briefly, “Don’t get offended. I just feel that you see Ryosuke more than a partner. It’s more like the way Yuri sees him or the way I see Mirai. Like a brother sees his sibling.”

“Think as you please,” Yuya shrugged off.

She chuckled more before Yuya resumed the explanation about their missions.

...he did not like seeing she talked with Yuya.

She was just a friend. He repeated the line. He did not want to be distracted. He just wanted to focus in helping Ryosuke. He did not have time for thinking about such trivial thing. Shrugging the thought off, he eventually followed Ryosuke to sleep.

Hours later he was woken up when Ryosuke broke the glass when trying to grab his painkiller. Witnessing how Ryosuke struggled with his pains had him firmly promised himself that he would put aside his personal matter. Ryosuke was still the most important person for him, more important even than himself.

**********

Yuto was preparing to leave the small village near the south border of Hakumei. The negotiation with Seiryoku had ended a week ago. Daiki and Ryutaro had returned to the capital right after that, but he had to stay behind for some time to make sure Seiryoku’s army had been retreated completely from Hakumei’s border. His duty had finised a couple days ago, and he decided to visit  Kei or now recognized as Kenji before he returned to the capital. He had not told anyone about his encounter with Kenji as he intended to investigate it first.

He had gathered some informations about the said man after digging in carefully. The neighborhood Kenji living in only consisted of a few farmer houses, led by an old man named Takuma Honjo as the head village. Kenji had been married with Honjo’s youngest daughter, Takuma Ayano, for three years, and had been blessed with a two-year-old son.

While they behaved politely to him, he sense wary behind the family’s acts. It was as though they feared him. At first he thought that it possibly was caused by his status as a soldier from the capital. He did not know when or how it started, but for the villagers in the borders, it seemed that everyone from the capital had a bad image, but they thought highly about the rebel. So, he assumed that it was the effect of the South Region was dominated by Takaki’s retainers for the past sixty years. Reforming the mindset of Hakumei’s people had been in Ryosuke’s long term plan, and this case might be included.

When he asked about Kenji’s past to the family, they awkwardly explained to him, that Kenji was an orphan and had no parents, so when Kenji married Ayano, he took the wife’s surname. They lied right on his face and it did not please him. However, when he asked to the neighbors, he received the same explanations. The villagers were cooperating in creating such a lie. They were hiding Kenji’s true identity. Kenji himself was looked like he was enjoying his life, and was not bothered by the fact that he did not remember anything about his younger life.

“Are you done?” Kenji’s voice was heard from behind him. The man had always managed to startle him.

“Yes,” he said, lifting his duffel bag to his shoulder.

Kenji had offered to him to the town, and he gladly accepted it. Emerging from his chamber, Kenji’s son, Yuuji, squealed in Ayano’s arms.

“Uncle, uncle,” the boy chanted, giggling.

When Ayano put Yuuji down, the kid immediately trotted across the room, and he chuckled when lifting the kid in his arms. Yuuji was at the same age as Mayuko and inherited his father’s pale skin. They would be cute being seen together.

After saying his farewell to Takuma family, he and Kenji departed, both riding the only horse presented: his. Horse was a luxury in this village, thus he was rather uncomfortable when bringing his stallion with him, but Kenji had reassured him that it was alright.

Having to carry two adult men had the beast got tired even before they reached halfway of their trip. Thus they decided to take a rest.

“I can just run while you ride your horse. It’ll be faster that way,” Kenji suggested.

He chuckled, “There is no way I would let you run.” He knew that as a shinobi, Kei should be able to run even faster than his horse, but he was no longer Kei. He was Kenji who even did not know the existence of shinobi.

“I can run faster than your horse, mind you,” Kenji said.

He perked up hearing this. “How come?”

Kenji shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, “I just can.”

He was about to bring the topic further, but then he was hesitated. He doubted which one between knowing and not knowing about his past was better for Kenji.

“Ne, Yuto,” suddenly Kenji’s loose expression turned to be serious. “Why do you want to know about me so much?”

“Huh?”

“You had been asking about me to some people, right? What is your intention?”

He considered his answer, “I just want to know.”

“Why do you want to know? Were us by any chance acquaintances?”

He smiled, “I don’t know any man named Kenji before.” It was the truth. “I’m sorry if my action has disturbed you and your family.”

“I’ll tell you,” Kei suddenly declared. “Since I feel that you’re not a bad person, and because you want to know it, I’ll tell you.”

“You don’t have to, Kenji-kun.”

“They are afraid of you,” Kenji completely ignored him.

“Huh?”

“I did not originally come from that village. They found me more than five years ago in the river bank. I was injured badly. When I woke up, I didn’t remember anything, but by the course of time I started to remember, and so far the things I remember are only my name, Kenji, and another name that I give to my son, Yuuji. The villagers were afraid that I was part of an army or a wanted criminal, thus they hide my true origin. Whenever outsider came to the village, they got afraid that they were looking for me. They have been living in fear for a long time ever since the Yamada and Takaki dispute broke out more than sixty years ago, and it grew more when another war broke out recently. I could understand their circumstance, thus I just go along.”

“Why do you tell me those secret then?”

Again, Kenji shrugged, “I don’t know. I just feel that you’re familiar. You don’t feel like a stranger to me. Ever since we met for the first time near the market, I tried to remember if I knew someone like you or the friend you were looking for, Kei. But I could not remember anything.”

“How if I were a bad person?”

“I’ve told you I feel that you’re not a bad person. I trust my feeling, because it never fails me.”

He smiled. This was the side he recognized as Kei’s. Kei was always confident with his skills, including his senses.

“How come you has not remembered anything after years?” He pointed the strange fact.

“Because I don’t have any intention to regain my memories. I’m happy with my current life... having a lovely wife and son, a simple job, parents, friends to laugh and cry with... It’s enough for me.”

“Is it really enough? How if you also have family in the past?”

Kenji gave him a calculating gaze, “You do know me, don’t you?