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'Hey, are you okay?'

Kai smiled when he remembered his first conversation with Suzy when he noticed the beautiful woman looking worried and nervous about something.

'I love you, Suzy. I want to be with you forever.'

Kai sighed as he looked out of his airplane window. He's been staring out as long as he can remember. Bae Suzy. She was the only person that remained on his mind. She was the only person that made him smile these days. He thought about her smile. He thought about how Suzy could brighten up his day with just a single word. He realized he never wanted to lose her. And Suzy had been in his mind all the time.

That was it, really. It seemed as if Kai was forever putting Suzy and Miyumi first. He was there when they needed help, he supported them in all their little adventures, he stood strong next to her when Suzy gushed over on various occasions that lead her to broke down. When the day's drama was all over and done, Kai was always there, waiting. He gave all his love to her. Kai had no reason to doubt she would still be his when he returned from New York.

Kai knew his father had half-expected his decision about Suzy, but his father had accepted his decision without complaint. Although Kai knew it was tearing him up inside, his dad had not objected to his choice. Kai had never imagined he could love Suzy more strongly than he already did, until this moment. He wanted to believe the same about Suzy. It wasn't that he doubted Suzy's devotion. He was certain Suzy loved him as he loved her. But he knew Suzy always love Kim Myungsoo. Still, hidden under all the certainty was a faint glimmer of hope. The velvet covering of the ring box was soft against his fingers. He turned it over and over almost obsessively, its rounded corners somehow shaping his thoughts.

Kai walked out the departure hall with loud thumb in his chest. Hope. Yes, he never let out the hope left his heart. Even though he knew his hope had only little chances to be true or nothing at all but he still has the hope. To keep him moving. Kai became more and more nervous with each and every step he took.

His eyes scanned around the arrival hall looking for someone. Someone that had opened his heart to feel the love again. But that someone was not there. Not there.

"Kai, let’s go home. They are not here." His father's voice was heard from behind.

Kai hold his breath. "You go ahead first, dad. I need to go somewhere first. I'll meet you in the house later."

Kim Ho-dong sighed. "All right."

Kai found his hands sweating when the taxi pulled up in the driveway, his stomach rolling queasily. Part of him wanted to tell the taxi driver  to just leave the place and go straight to his dad's house because he knew that he will not find anything there. But part of him wanted to go there, to where his loves were.

Kai step out from the taxi with heavy legs. He stepped in through entrance door and walked in slowly and stood in front of the lift.

"Uncle Kai, how come you don't live with Yumi and mummy?"Miyumi asked.

"Do you want me to live you and your mummy?"

"Mmhhmm." Miyumi just nodded.

 "You think mummy will let me stay with you? In your house?"

Kai laughed at the memories. His eyes were teary.  As he walked out of the lift, his heart felt heavy. He was consumed with great grief. It was like his reason for living had been taken from him. He stood in the doorway of Suzy's apartment, and at first nothing sank in. There was something wrong, and his eyes were looking right at it but his stupid brain was refusing to tell him what it was and that’s when it kicked in; not something was wrong, everything was wrong. And he actually knew it.

Silence.

Not even the faint mumble of voices.

Nothing.

He couldn't go in there.

Leaning against the wall behind him, his eyes just stared at the doorbell button. He didn't know how long he's been staring at the button until a lone silver tear slid calmly down his reddened cheeks as his eye lids connected tightly, shielding any other glistening drop from escaping. He couldn't make her stay. His legs started to tremble. He couldn't hold it any longer. Slowly he slid down and sat on the floor. An empty feeling stirred within the pit of his stomach as he hugged his knees tightly and rested his chin on one of them.

"Oh, God," Kai groaned and buried his face between his knees.

A hand brushed up against his shoulder, causing him to look up an instant. "Young Master, your dad is waiting in the car." His dad's driver told him. He looked down with an utterly despondent expression, another tear slithering down from his eyes.

Kai nodded. "I'll be down shortly." He replied softly, turning his face away bitterly.

If there were a word to describe the way he felt on the drive home and for the hours following, it would be some sort of complicated blend of every emotion known to man kind. Was he angry? Yes. He was angry because he's finally broken into the interior of the woman he loved, yet he's too late. Is he upset? Yes. He's upset because he doesn't want to leave, not like this, not without her. But is he happy? Yes. She returned his kiss when he kissed her. Bae Suzy opened her heart enough to let someone else in for once, proving everything he'd been dreaming about for the last four years to be completely possible.

Bae Suzy.

Just her name sends tingles down his spine. He replayed the moments over and over in his mind. The he felt it again, that thing growing steadily inside his heart, like a lost emotion just waiting to be found. He tries to concentrate on it, tried to find a section of calmness that allowed him to dig deeper into his own heart - to have battle with his own emotions.

Kai sat down on his bed, waiting to be calm. It kept not happening. It all felt unreal, nightmarish and impossible and unbelievable and unacceptable when it was only three days ago he had Suzy in his arms. He curled up on his bed, put his face on the pillow, and broke down. Just as his live return to normal, it's torn away again. It takes a while for everything to fall back into normality when he able to accept the facts. Then again, neither was really sure what normality is anymore.

Kai heard his bedroom door being opened. He knows that his father would want talk to him. Sure enough, his father walked in and stood at the end of his bed looking at him.

Kim Ho-dong looked at his son. He told his son what was right and wrong, and it was up to him to make his own mistakes, which he had.  "Son, I'm sorry I lead you into this. Suzy did what she think was right for her and her family."

Kai sat up and leaned at the headboard. "It's too much, dad, to hope everything will be perfect. It's not going to be." He replied.

Kim Ho-dong walked slowly, tentatively, towards him, each moment drawn out into a thread as long as possible, then sat next to him, pulled him into a hug, rubbing easy circles on his back while he shakes like each movement will break him once again.

"I'm sorry, son, I'm so, so sorry."

They just drift between the days, and they love it. They're walking in the park. Suzy's wrapped carefully in a coat, a black silk scarf draped around her neck. They've got coffee clutched in their hands, the heat warm and welcoming. They both take a seat on the bench. The leaves snap beneath their feet, the sound light and bright in the air. Miyumi was playing on the slide ahead of them. Suzy put down her cup on the bench and went to join Miyumi on the slide. Kai smiled as he watched them. He smirked to himself as he walked over, placed the