Suzy was standing by the window in her room with her arms crossed over her chest watching Miyumi running and gigling trying to catch the rabbits with grandpa Ho-dong.  For the hundredth time, Suzy was really grateful that she had met Kai when she was in need of help. Kai and his father had accepted her and Miyumi to be part of their family.

Indeed, Kim Ho-dong loved Miyumi as if Miyumi was her own grandaughter so much. And Kai had been everything for her. He was always a good friend to her but now Suzy realized his kindness was something more, something that Suzy hoped wasn't true. She didn't know where and when it began but now she knew that it's really happened.

Suzy stared aimlessly out of the window. She thought she'd finally managed to sort everything out in her life, that there wouldn't be any more surprises. Apparently she'd been wrong. Until yesterday her life had been normal. Everything had been at the right place. But right now, at that moment, she could only stare at the chaos that was her life.

Myungsoo.

It was hard to draw herself away from thinking about Myungsoo, seeing one particular scene in her mind. ‘Why did you have to do that?’ Four years ago she left her house and came to Tokyo to start a new life but she had never imagined that starting over would bring so many risks...for her heart and her life.

She wasn't relieved. In fact she had never felt so lonely, so cold, or so uncertain about the future. She had vowed to seize control of her life, and now it was running away with her again.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her thought.

"Suzy…are you in there?" asked a muffled voice. Suzy hesitated for a few moments, wondering if she should respond or not.

"Y-yeah. I'm in here." She moved toward the door and opened it. Standing behind it was Kai.

"May I come in?" Kai said, his eyes pleading. Suzy nodded numbly. She pulled the door open all the way and gestured for Kai to come in then just left the door open and went to sit on the bed. Kai closed the door and went to sit next to her. Neither of them said a word, the room was in complete silence, not a sound was made.

"Suzy…" Kai eyed her, whose gaze rose to meet his. It made Kai uncomfortable, but mainly because it was not the way Suzy normally looked at him. The sheer emotionless nature of her irises caused him to swallow nervously. "...are you alright?" he finally blurted out.

Suzy pursed her lips together, refusing to respond verbally. She nodded once in a slow, but assuring manner.

"Are you sure? You don't look too good right now," Kai whispered back.

"I told you last night. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Her words contradicting to what she actually felt as her heart pounded erratically in her chest.

Kai noticed her eyes were red and puffy. “Suzy, you’ve been crying.”

Suzy sighed, slightly disappointed. “I saw him, Kai. I saw him downstairs. I saw him kneeling in front of you.”

Kai gasped. "Suzy… I'm sorry if I've upset you… about earlier… about him." Dipping his head, he looked her in the eyes. "I never should have…done that. I’m sorry. I was being selfish.”

Suzy chuckled, sounding slightly hollow. “No. You’re not. Why do you have to say sorry? It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I made him to be like that.” Suzy said, very careful to keep her expression neutral. But she was actually an emotional time bomb waiting to explode. Her guilt was crashing her. Suzy chewed on her lower lip. ‘Be strong Bae Suzy.’

“Suzy, don’t blame yourself. I know you’re hurt seeing him like that. You don’t have to lie to me. Did you think I don't get how much you love him, how much it pained you to be away from him? I’ve always watched you Suzy, I watched you crawl in a corner, sobbing and clenching your body because it hurt so much, and I've seen you do it a thousand times. You seemed to be doing better now and it gave me all the more reason to keep him away from you. ”

Suzy looked at Kai with an expression that she couldn't explain. “You were right Kai. I’ve been lying to myself all along. I’ve been pretending that none of that happened. None of that exist. But when Myungsoo appeared…”

"You just don't think about it until something like this happened." Kai murmured "Then you realised just how much he meant to you, how much you still love him..." he trailed off as Suzy started to sob again.