Stepbrothers| Written by ohreo-sehunn| Review Written By Donghaeloverisme

There is a sentence were I found a sentence which has awkward-structuring. "“Yo-you’re going to marry that Korean?” he opens his eyes, shooting the lady who’s sitting on his bed with sharp glare." I would prefer if you would change to this. ".......he opens his eyes, shooting the lady who is sitting on his bed a sharp glare." I thought that using (who is) is better than (who's) a better way as (who's) has that informal tone and the tone would you set would be 'destroyed'. You set up a serious and a little angsty tone and by using (who's) it breaks the formal tone and therefore sounds awkward. I would say 'with sharp glare' is not suitable here. With is not a suitable word to fit with sharp glare and you shoot someone A sharp glare.   Let's look at another sentence. "...who has a son who's just two years younger than Tao" Do not repeat words, it makes the story sound boring. Especially when they are at the same sentence. I would prefer writing this. "...who has a son (which) is just two years younger than Tao." Remember do not repeat words in the same sentence.   Here is another sentence. "he rolls his red slightly watery eyes" You should use punctuation to 'cut' the sentence properly. For this case, you should use semi-colons (;) or use connectors. The use of a semi-colon is a replacement for using connectors when you need to use them. "...he rolls his red and slightly watery eyes" Or "...he rolls his red; slightly watery eyes"   Let's look at another sentence. By reading your story, I could assume that English is not your first language? Is Chinese one of your main language? Well, let's look at this sentence. "...he is never harsh to the woman who born him, never." It sounds like a direct translation from Chinese. I have to say that English is not exactly the same as Chinese. Okay, it would sound weird and funny to say 'the woman who born him.' So, it should be actually. "...he is never harsh to the woman that (gave birth to him), never." But, I have to say that I like that note of finality you gave. I am referring to 'never' in the last word of the sentence. It really gives that impact you wish to depict. So, well done and keep up with the good job!   There's another sentence here which I found that you should change it. "...there’s an unexplainable feelings" Firstly, there is no such word as 'unexplainable' in the dictionary. I would say 'unexplained' would fit in more. Next, there is a grammatical error in your sentence. Since you used 'an', the next noun should be singular. That's why 'feelings' would not fit there as a plural form.  You have two choices. So you choose either one. 1) "...there is an unexplained feeling." Or 2) "...there is unexplained feelings." Both fits into the story well. So do take notice in the grammar rules as they are a necessity in writing.     "...causing the young boy jumps a bit and turns to give him a confused look." I would say that this would fit better as there is a sentence-structure problem or should I say grammatical? "...causing the young boy (to jump) a bit and (turn) to give him a confused look."   "... as he scans into Tao’s eyeballs. " "Eyeballs" are not really fitting in the scenario, it should be look into Tao's eyes instead. "...as he scans into Tao's eyes." Actually, scans is not really a