My Last Words|ThisMomentWhen

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Title   I was curious about the title since it gave off a mysterious effect and did attract me to think further about the story. If I had seen a title in the 'latest updated fanfiction' I will click on it. For me, I have never seen such a unique title and questions did appear in my mind. Why was those the characters' last words? Was the character dying or did he/she have a conflict with someone? Who's last words was that? It was amazing for me as there were some much queries in my mind and I had to read on to understand the problem.   So, I have to say that your title is great because you did not give the whole story-line or plot away and I was satisfied with that. After I read your foreword, I was so contended and happy when you wrote the story in 'My' point of view(or should I say 1st Point of view) but when I started reading the chapter, I was quite upset when you used the third point of view by explaining the story. Why was I upset? Well, since you used "My last words", the story should be told in that character's point of view not in the 3rd POV. Understand now? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Plot

I had to say that the plot was original and unique since I've been reading a lot of queenkas, kingkas and nerds stories these days. This story did make me learn something new and I was so grateful of that. When I read the excerpt in the foreword, I was thankful that you wrote about this. People do tend to take goodbyes for granted(a perfect example is me) and I learnt that I should be like Baekhyun and cherish our goodbyes and of course, our love ones.

The thing that concerned me was why those members (like Lay and Suho) names were written as their stage names. It was concerning because they were friends, close friends in fact, any why will they call their stage names? You have to be specific when you write stage names, you should provide a reason that maybe they wanted to be called by their stage names? However, none of the reasons were shown and it was rather questioning. I would prefer it if you used their real names instead. Other than that, I really loved the plot as it was original but I did hope that there was a twist in the story.

What do I mean? Let me explain in a more specific manner, in every exciting and standard story, there should be a twist in the story to make in more thriller and enjoyable for readers. I have read numerous one-shots that have twists. It is like a piece of short-writing, there should be a problem in the story so that things will start to arise and how the characters solve the problem and how the story ended. I felt that the story was lacking in this point because it didn't have a specific problem that we are looking for. The story was merely about how Baekhyun went to find every member to tell them that he loves them and he disappeared. I expected something more in fact, since the story was so well-written.

For the ending, I found it rather rushed. It was well-written throughout but I hoped that you at least include what happened to Baekhyun. Well, his weird behavior did make me want to read on to understand what happened to him. Was he dying or was something happening to him? I was upset with the ending since it did not give me answers for the questions I had in mind when I wanted to continue reading. I did hope you at least tell us at ending that he died or something. I do dislike endings with cliffhangers because it is like a waste of time to read them since they wouldn't answer the questions the readers had.

Well, I'm not bashing you as I'm just giving my own opinion. So, I'm so sorry if it had affected the original thinking that you initially had. Why not write a sequel to clear out the questions? Or a short epilogue? That's great too in my opinion. Out of everything that I mentioned, you are doing great in your writing style but the thing you have to work on the most is your endings. They turn out to be a riddle and we, readers, wouldn't want to guess the ending. We want you to tell us the ending.

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Characterization

I have to say that I really liked the characterization in the story. Even though, this story was just a short one-shot, I enjoyed the terrific characterization skills each character had. They were different and everyone's personality was unique. I really like that as no one has the same personality as no one is perfect! So, what I wanted to say was the change in Baekhyun's attitude was great. You pictured him as a person that is bratty and 'rude'(we can't say rude, maybe he has the lack of care for honorifics) and the attitude change was surprising. He suddenly became polite to his hyungs and his indeed had the cutesy side of him that does aegyo. I found the Baekhyun pictured in here similar to the Baekhyun that I know in reality. So, I really like that!

About Yixing, I did love his motherly and caring nature for his dongseangs(like Baekhyun), he was understanding and could put himself into others' shoes and that was exactly that Yixing that we know in real life. I love the actions that you pictured for Yixing, the way he sat cross-legged on the sofa. Wow, I caught him sitting cross-legged in many interviews so it's great that you included real facts about their attitudes and actions. I can see the observant personality coming out from you so that's great!

However, I did find a change of personality in Joonmyeon's attitude though. He was always that kind and caring leader that doesn't scold and understands them well, but the Joonmyeon that you depicted in the story was in fact the opposite. He was depicted as a short-tempered young man that got annoyed easily, he did have a fiery temper which makes him sound cold in the scenario. I was shock by the personality that you have given Joonmyeon and suddenly a thought entered my mind. Isn't this the sole reason why Baekhyun only calls him using a formal tone? After that, I was beginning to like that new personality Joonmyeon was given, maybe a change of attitude isn't that bad after all.

I loved Kyungsoo's character too! He's character is exactly like the one Exo stans know, I did love the fact that he was a motherly figure like Yixing but he was more talkative and over-spoken than Yixing. He did voice his doubts when Baekhyun called him 'hyung' for the first time. I can see that 'observant' trait coming out from Kyungsoo too. He did remind me of those grandmothers (sorry about that) when he blabbered about his boyfriend while Baekhyun was deep in thought. That's typical, isn't it?

I couldn't really feel the characterization going in Jongin. It was rather vague for me to feel his character when it was only a short scenario at the phonecall, you didn't give off his personality and I found that his image to me was hazzy and unclear. The only trait I could get after reading the phonecall scene several times was Jongin being a filial grandchild. Other than that, I couldn't see any special or outstanding traits. I did expect a better personality coming from him but I understand the challenging task for writing 12 characters' personalities at once. I felt Sehun and Luhan's appearance at the park a little short, I did hope to see more of their scenes before Baekhyun left. Honestly, I felt that you were rushing to finish the one-shot.

For Minseok, I did enjoy his reaction the most. It was great and I loved it! Why? I loved it because all the members freaked out when they heard the speech Baekhyun said and I liked what was special in Minseok. He nodded and even accepted the fact that wasn't known to him. He was understanding and respected Baekhyun's privacy. I loved him! Normally, I can't really get a outstanding character out of Minseok since he was so quiet and soft-spoken but you made me like this young man more and more after reading your one-shot. Wow, you're inspirational!

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