Grammar & Spelling

There are some errors that I found when I read the chapters. So, do those corrections after reading this review.

-"I feel like going out. Wand come?"

Wand refers to something like a fairy wand so you should change the word. It is a spelling error as I do assume that 'wand' should be 'wanna' or 'want to'. I will prefer 'want to' because it has real English words instead of slangs.

Originality

I did love the time travel part as it was not normally seen in fanfics; however it couldn't be called a total unique one as I have seen numerous dramas like Rooftop Prince with the same plot;so I can't really give you credit. However, there are some parts where I found it somehow cliche and overused. Let me take some examples; the one that irked me the most was Byunghee's wedding. 

It did make me cringe as I did find the way he appeared familiar; so I do have to give you some tips on originality. In order to be original and not be accuse of having cliche and overused ideas; it will be hard but you have to take time to sit down and think of ideas that no one can think of. I will prefer appearance that aren't that simple; however, you still have to maintain connection in between. 

Make sure that when you think of a very original one; you cannot bounce away for the realistic section and become nonsenical so it will be no different from a cliche one; maybe even worse.

Dialogues

This is one of the criteria that I wish to cover up most as you do have a big problem in your writing style. You use too many dialogues. It has been going around in many scenes with dialogues all the way. I do have to say that I am upset with the overuse of dialogues as that did make me want to stop reading it; to be honest. I have to be honest in this as the usage of dialogues was too much and that was one of the reason why I stopped reading at chapter four.

I do have to apologise for the in-profession as it did make me get a headache; a fanfic that was supposed to be filled with vivid description is making dialogues take on the whole story. Honestly, it seemed more like a play-script to me as I did try reading or but there was so much dialogues. A never ending one. 

I have to give you some tips on this. It wouldn't be easy clearing up all these dialogues but you have to try. The best way, in my opinion, is to re-read the story several times so that you can caught sight of all these dialogues. Compared to spelling mistakes and sentence structure errors, this is easier to be spotted as long as you see those open-inverted commas. Try to limit each chapter to only have no more than four dialogues.  So, by doing that, you will have to make sure that the scene that has dialogues will be relevant to the story. As for the other places that was initially filled with dialogues; you should change them into descriptions given by a narrator. Try harder!

Consistency

As for consistency, I do think that you have to word harder on this point. There were some parts that were vague and unclear. You introduced a character is but somehow 'he' wasn't mentioned at all. You could have done a better job at mentioning just a small passer-by that talked to Niel but you just mentioned 'he'. Let me show you that example:

They arrived at a small pub a few minutes later, and Chanhee hurried to order lots of alcohol.   "What's up with that friend of yours?" He asked Daniel while waiting for his order. "He's always a brat, but he was even more so today."   "Just ignore him..." Daniel replied with a sigh.   "I know he's been your friend since you were kids and all, but how do you stand him? He's such a rude pain in the !"   "He's not!"   "You mean he's not that way to you!" Finally the