The Melancholy Sound of the Guitar| Written by GreenGardenPop| Review Written by Donghaeloverisme

I really liked the graphic that you made but there is a sentence in the graphic which I not quite liked. "My guitar soothes my aching soul." Do you understand why I put two words bold? As a writer myself, I don't wish to repeat words in a sentence. It sounds rather boring when you do so; thus this could also show that you have a limited length of knowledge for changing the words.  My suggestion is you should change the way you phrase the sentence, in order not to use another 'my', I could do this instead. "My guitar soother the aching soul of mine."  I find this sentence better phrased that before. So,change the way you phrase the sentence if you cannot find another word to replace it. Next, going on to the first chapter of the story. I did not like the first sentence at all, there were so many ways to start a chapter/story and you had to use this.  "It was a Monday morning." Why? I did not understand why you must use such a boring opening. Researchers have proven that the first sentence of the chapter gives has the greatest impact for readers. This determines whether they would like to continue or stop reading the story. Let's look at another sentence. "And out under God's blue heaven, where fields and meadows were covered with greens and flowers, all the birds rejoiced. " I would prefer if these two prepositions(out and under) would be separated as they sound awkward together. So I would suggest this instead. "And out there, under God's...." I would not suggest using 'blue heaven', you were referring to the sky right? No, the sky does not necessary have to be blue, sometimes when you look up the sky, there are not only colors like blue. Sometimes, it's white, yellow, orange, grey, purple (occasionally in my country, during sunsets). So, I would suggest removing the blue from the description of heaven. I'm here to make sure that your story has a high reality level as it is not considered under genres like 'fantasy' & "supernatural" where places in those are not really the same as the world we live in.   I love how you use personification in your stories, you are indeed making non-living things like the guitar coming alive like a human. I read up that only experienced writers could write personification in their stories, so you're no exception! Keep up with the good job. I really enjoy the way you write your story, it had the angst-y affect and made me felt the character's feelings.   I would like to comment on a part of the story. It is not very realistic as you stated that the money she earned while playing on the streets is enough to pay her rent. I don't find this making sense at all. Playing a guitar on str