The rest of the evening went quite smoothly.

It was awfully awkward but as soon as me and Kai teleported I felt safe.

Baekhyun took Myungsoo to exo m.

I’ve started feeling bad just now, when I realized I might have treated Myungsoo slightly too rashly. When Jongin announced that we have to get going and that me and him will go first I didn’t even say bye to Myungsoo. I was angry at him. He looked hurt when Kai wrapped his arm around my waist and without a word we disappeared.

I feel horrible now.

I won’t see him again and yet I acted so selfish.

As soon as we landed on exo k all the anger I had on Myungsoo disappeared.

Instead I started feeling bad about myself. Why do people around me always get hurt?

I take out my anger on everyone and curse everything but I am the main problem.

The feeling of security quickly faded when I remembered why exactly I came back here. I have to be forgiven by them. But how am I supposed to look into their eyes?

How am I supposed to say that after everything they did for me I cheated?

I want to dig a deep hole where I could hide and never come out.  

We teleported right in front of our house.

The nervousness I felt made my body tremble and Kai seemed to notice it as he squeezed my hand.

“Don’t worry. No one is going to blame you, After all it was because of that jerk.”

“No. It wasn’t because of him..”

I lower my head in shame.

“What do you mean?”

When I didn’t answer he lifted my chin up and made me look at him.

“Sun-Yung, what is it?”

“It wasn’t his fault. I kissed him back. Everything he said was a lie to protect me. The truth is that we were saying our goodbyes and he kissed me. I didn’t push him away.. I-I..” My voice cracked and broke into a cry. “I’m sorry..”

I expected him to be angry. Shout at me, tell me something like ‘how could you?!’ or just simply walk away and leave me but he didn’t do any of these thing.

Instead he pulled me into a hug.

So tight I almost choked from crying.

“It’s okay” He whispered and I felt for a moment as If the person who holds me is a stranger. I never thought or even imagined that Kai would be calm in such a situation.

I remember how we got to that big argument when he told me about his death.

He seemed to remembrance his life as a playboy in a good way and I hated guys like this. I shouted at him for playing with girls heart and even accused him on having fun with me and now look. I just told him I’ve cheated and instead of yelling at me he hugs me.

“W-won’t shout a-at me?” I mutter into his shirt as he’s still pressing me tightly to his body.

“No.” He sighed.

I pull away slightly and look at him in confusion.

And he sighs again.

“I don’t know myself why but I am not angry at you Sun-Yung. Yes I’m usually very jealous but  hey, look at it this way; it was only a kiss right? It’s not a big deal actually. I mean yes, if you would go around and kiss other guys I would kill them and shout at you” He laughed “But I don’t blame you.. he was your boyfriend.. and you were seeing each other for the last time so.. of course if you’d ever do that again I will-”

“I won’t. I promise. I regret it. It was an impulse and I really didn’t think consciously about what I’m doing. I’m sorry”

“I believe you. You’re forgiven by me already. I’m only angry at that guy. If he wouldn’t be such a jerk and an angel  maybe I wouldn’t punch him but I’m just angry you gave your precious lips to such an .” He winced at the image in his head of me and Myungsoo.

And for the first time since today I laughed honestly.

I really didn’t expect such understanding from Kai.

Suho, D.O I had an impression that they would be the ones who would take things calm and talk instead of shouting. Kai is the complete opposite.

He’s dynamic and I really am shocked that he reacted this way.

But this makes me love him even more.

“Thank you.” I say after a while.

We’re still standing in front of the house and I’m surprised that no one has heard us yet.

“I won’t say you’re welcome because you’re very lucky I’m in a good mood.” He said jokingly and ruffled my head.

I feel so young.

Like a child or a teenager on her first date with her first boyfriend.

I really can’t believe Jongin can be this loving.

I was about to open the door when he stopped me.

“Before we go in… I know you feel bad about what happened, and.. let’s just stick to the version from before.”

“What? No. I don't want to lie anymore Kai. I will tell them the truth.”

“Sun-Yung I know you want to be fair and stuff but