Honesty
Entangled
(Credits to The Klassic)
(Jessica’s POV)
The car ride to the restaurant made me extremely nervous but it was nothing compared to the dinner itself. I sat across from her because Tiff decided to sit across from Sooyoung. The entire dinner, I kept my head down because I was too afraid to look directly at her.
Why was I behaving this way? It was obvious; I was attracted to this girl.
I hated that I felt such a strong affinity towards this person that I barely knew. I tried to fight it but I found every bit of her difficult to resist, down to the smallest curl in her hair.
But I also knew that my heart belonged to Kryssie and Kryssie alone. If that was the case, the attraction was purely physical. That meant, if I didn’t do anything, it wasn’t cheating… right?
While the other three discussed the details of the project and what was expected of our bid, my mind was preoccupied with the thought of Kryssie and how wrong I was to be attracted to anyone else. The problem was, I had never felt this sort of magnetism towards anyone other than when I was with Kryssie.
Even when we were just sisters, there was a sort of unconscious gravitation between Kryssie and me. That was why she clung to me when she was younger. That was why I had an unhealthy amount of skinship with her. And that was why it was so difficult for us to be apart when I went off to university. Even now, I always felt a little empty when she wasn’t right beside me. Even then, even when we weren’t aware of it, there was always something pulling us together.
So why now? Why this beautiful stranger? Could it possibly be a test? If it was I already knew what the end result would be. I loved Kryssie and I had no doubt about it.
That didn’t stop my mind from being clouded though. It was difficult to concentrate on the conversation while I was trying to sort out my feelings. Once in awhile I would hear some key words and I would turn to look at Tiff, and then I would just nod my head as if I was completely focused. Then I would quickly look back down at my food. But in fact, I didn’t have any appetite to eat either; I just shuffled the food around the plate.
I wish I was home with Kryssie… I miss her…
“Do you enjoy playing with your food before you eat it?” said the person sitting in front of me.
“Huh?” she had interrupted my thought and I wasn’t sure if she was joking with me or if she was mocking me intentionally.
“Why aren’t you eating, Jessica-shi?” she asked.
Her expression was soft and friendly, so she must have been joking with me before.
“Oh, sorry. I’m not that hungry…” I replied.
“Is everything okay? You seem a little… I don’t know… distracted…” she reached across the table and touched my hand.
It would have been less of a shock if she had just slapped me in the face but instead, her touch was soft, gentle and warm yet it sent shivers throughout my body. I dropped my fork from the shock and I retracted my hand.
In that moment, the sound of the fork hitting the plate sounded like a bomb going off. It was loud and deafening. Even Tiff and Sooyoung stopped short and turned to look at me.
“Jess, you alright?” Tiff asked.
“Oh yeah, yeah… I’m fine…” I replied. I looked back at Yoona and she was still staring at me intently.
“Sorry…” Yoona said to me with a concerned look. “Did I startle you?”
“Uhm… no, no… it’s not you… My mind has just been a little distracted…”
Tiff jabbed me in my side causing me to flinch.
“What’s wrong with you?” she whispered her question in my ear.
“It’s nothing! I swear,” I whispered back.
“She’s making a pass at you, isn’t she? I told you she liked you…”
“She doesn’t even know me! We’ve only just met…”
“So? It only takes one moment to fall for someone…”
“You’re delusional! Stop it! They’re staring!”
We both turned back to face the other two. I was right, they were staring.
“What are you two whispering about?” Sooyoung asked.
“We’re just discussing about the bid…” Tiff came to the rescue.
“And? Do you have any interesting ideas?” Yoona asked.
“Just some rough ideas but nothing good enough to mention,” Tiff replied again.
I know she said that my job was to bail her out of tight spots but at this moment, she was doing it for me.
“A perfectionist I see! I like that. I’ll be anticipating your proposal then.”
“Don’t you worry… Everything Tiffany-shi does is always the best…” Sooyoung told Yoona.
“I’m sure…” Yoona said. It was meant for either Sooyoung or Tiff but she was looking in my direction.
Why is she looking at me like that?
“Is there something on my face?” I asked her.
“No, why?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that you’ve been staring at me for awhile. I just thought maybe I had something on my face.”
She chuckled. “Well you haven’t eaten anything so that wouldn’t be possible, really…”
She had a good point…
“Then… what is it?”
“Jessica-shi, would it be too forward if I asked if you are single?”
“Yes…”
“Yes, it’s too forward or yes you’re single?”
“She’s single…” Tiff interrupted.
“Quiet, you!” I told Tiff.
“What? You are…”
“Aish… Stop trying to make this happen…” I said with my teeth clenched, trying not to let Yoona hear what was said. “Uhm… you know what… I have to use the bathroom… Please excuse me.”
I was just trying to get out of that conversation and away from Yoona. I hurried to the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle.
I wonder what Kryssie is up to at the moment.
I pulled out my phone and texted her. “Kryssie… What are you up to right now?”
“Just sitting around, missing you awfully…” She texted back.
Aish that rascal…
“You’re giving me a toothache!”
“How’s the dinner going?”
“Terrible for me… I miss you… I hope this ends soon, then I can come home to you.”
“I’ll still be waiting. Come home quick! <3 XXXXXXXXXX”
“If you fall asleep, I’ll just wake you up! <3 XXXXXXXXXX”
I don’t know when exactly it was that I started enjoying being so cheesy with Kryssie but recently, it’s been cheese and fluff non-stop with us, but I absolutely loved it. It made my day just to get a random text from her or when she showed me her aegyo. I don’t think there was anything else that could make me happier.
I was dreding having to go back out but I was already behaving utterly unprofessional as is, so I took a deep breath, gathered myself together and unlocked the cubicle. I was still thinking about Kryssie so I was at least still giddy from it.
“This is the first time tonight that I’ve seen you smile so sincerely, Jessica-shi.”
It was Yoona, AGAIN, right there in front of me.
Did she follow me in here?!
“I’m sorry?”
“You’ve been a little standoffish to me since we met again at your office. I thought we had a nice conversation this morning… Did I somehow offend you?” she asked, her voice genuinely saddened.
“Have I? I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to be. My mind has just been in a terrible state the entire day… It’s really not you…” I apologized.
Actually it WAS her but not in the way she thought. She didn’t offend me nor did I hate her. She was so friendly and polite; it was difficult to find any fault in her. It was my own feelings towards her that was to blame.
“After you left so abruptly this morning… I thought I had said something wrong or that I had offended you. And during the entire dinner, you looked so uncomfortable around me, I just thought you didn’t want to be around me…” she said.
It wasn’t that I DIDN’T want to be around her, it was more like I COULDN’T be around her without being a blubbering mess.
“No, it’s really not the case at all… Although…”
“Although what? I said something wrong, didn’t I? I tend to be a little frank sometimes…”
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong…”
“Then what is it?”
“Uhm… you’ve been staring at me the whole night… Is there something wrong with me or is there something you wanted to ask me?”
It would have been uncomfortable for anyone if someone continually stared at them… Right?
“Oh! Have I? I’m sorry… Is that why you were so uncomfortable? I really do apologize… It’s just that… I couldn’t help myself. You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on…” She said it so honestly, I couldn’t even believe it.
I just stared at her in disbelief.
“There I go again… I shouldn’t have been so honest with my thoughts… but now that it’s out there… I really mean it.”
I was even more speechless than I already was, if that was even possible.
She took a few steps closer to me. “Jessica-shi, I have to be honest with you… I find myself unable to think straight around you… I think I’m utterly and completely smittened by you…” she confessed.
Why is she so honest?! Can’t she just be like any normal person and just keep her feelings for a complete stranger to herself?!
“B-But y-you don’t even k-know m-me…” I stuttered.
“Yet, the attraction is undeniable…”
“I-I still think t-that what you’re f-feeling is unsubstantiated. D-Do you even k-know anything about me aside f-from my n-name? In f-fact, y-you don’t even k-know my l-last name.”
Why am I stuttering so badly?! Pull yourself together, Jessica Jung! Tell her you’re not interest! Tell her she’s barking up the wrong tree! Tell her to back off! Anything…
“Then give me a chance to get to know you better… Would you consider going on a date with me some time?”
Ohmigod! Is she really asking me out? Right here, right now? We’re in a public bathroom! And we’re on a business dinner!
“Y-Yoona-shi…” I took a deep breath. “I c-can’t say that I’m not flattered that y-you asked, BUT, I don’t t-think that it would be ethical for us to go out o-on a date when the company I’m working for is m-making a bid for a contract in the project y-you are in. I-It just wouldn’t seem r-right…” I spat out as coherently as I could manage.
She hesitated for a second. Her expression turned from hopeful to conflicted and then to disappointed.
“You’re right… It would be completely unethical. I guess our meeting was, in fact, just a coincidence afterall…” she said gloomily.
“I… I’m sorry, Yoona-shi…” I didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s okay… I’m truly disappointed but I would still like for us to get to know each other better. I have a feeling that we will definitely be working on this project together.”
I just smiled. It was still a nervous thought. It would mean the world for Tiff and me to win the bid, but if we did, it would mean I would have to work closely with her…
“I think we should get back out there. Those two might be thinking something had happened to us…” I told her.
She nodded in agreement.
We rejoined the other two at the table but it was only for a short while because we all had to get going.
“It was nice meeting the both of you. Good luck on your bid. I very much look forward to it,” Yoona bowed and shook Tiff’s hand. Then she held out her hand to me again.
This time, I shook it without hesitating and to my surprise, my heart didn’t do any funny business.
I guess it was nothing afterall… Maybe I was just nervous before and blew everything out of proportion…
I was about to let go of her hand but she pulled me closer and leaned in.
Dugeun… dugeun…
Oh no! It’s still there…!
What is she doing?!
“I’m not letting go just yet… We can work around it…” she whispered.
She let go of my hand but I was left wide-eyed and baffled.
She dropped us back at the office where Tiff and I had parked our cars. It was another awkward car ride.
“What on earth happened to you two?” Tiff asked once we were alone again.
“What do you mean?” I pretended not to know what she was referring to.
“You… and Yoona-shi… You both disappeared into the bathroom and then that weird moment when she bid you goodbye…”
“Nothing happened… We both had to use the bathroom… People do that, you know? And she was just being friendly and joked about our first meeting at the coffee shop…” I lied.
“You didn’t look like you found it funny…”
“Uhm… yeah she’s not very funny…”
“Right…”
Tiff tried a few more times to dig the truth out of me but I wouldn’t let her. Finally she gave up and allowed me to head home.
When I got home, I was never so glad to see Kryssie. She must have been tired because it was just past 10 but she was slumped over a book on the coffee table. She had fallen asleep while waiting for me to come home.
I walked around the table so that I was facing her. I knelt down and rested my head on the table. For a short moment, I watched her sleep so peacefully. She had always had the same expression while she was sleeping since she was little. Her nose slightly scrunched up, her lips slightly pouted. It was so cute I wanted to kiss her so badly. But since she was sleeping, I just gave her a kiss on the top of her head instead.
I didn’t want to wake her just yet so I decided to get cleaned up first. I usually preferred just to take a quick shower but the day had been long and tiring. My body was weary and in desperate need of the healing warmth of a relaxing bath.
I was beginning to drift off when I suddenly heard the door open.
“Why didn’t you wake me up? You said you were going to…” Kryssie whined the moment she came in.
If this was just a few weeks ago, I would have freaked out when she walked in. Also, I probably wouldn’t have left the door unlocked. But now, I didn’t care. It was just Kryssie and me. Besides I was completely covered in foam, it didn’t matter anyway.
“You looked so cute I didn’t want to disturb you…” I told her.
“I don’t care! You promised…” she pouted.
There it is… that aegyo I wanted to see so much…
I reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling her down so that she was eye level with me.
“I missed you so much today!” I said.
Despite everything, she was still always the first and last thing on my mind, and I still missed her every second of the day.
“You’re being weird!” she furrowed her eyebrows. It only made her look more loveable. “But I missed you too… A LOT!” Then she leaned in and gave me a kiss. “I’ve been waiting to do that the entire day…”
“Aish! You rascal… is that what you came in for?”
“Yup… And now that I’ve got what I came for, I’m leaving…” she said playfully as she got up.
I suddenly thought about the events that had transpired throughout the day… I grabbed onto her hand again, not letting her leave.
“Wae?” she asked when I pulled her back.
“Kryssie… I have something I need to tell you…”
“Ooooo… Why so serious?” she chuckled.
“It is serious… So just listen to everything I have to say before you respond, okay?”
“You’re starting to freak me out, Jessie…!”
“Just promise me to listen to everything before you react…”
“Fine, I promise…! Now, what is it?!”
“So… I met this person… well she’s a girl… I met a girl today… I was getting coffee and I met this girl… I took her coffee, but no she actually gave it to me… Then we kind of flirted, maybe I don’t know but I didn’t think I was going to see her again, and then-“
“Jessie! You’re not making any sense…”
“Sorry… Okay, let me try again…” I inhaled and then exhaled slowly. “I met this girl at the coffee shop today and she was nice. We chatted but it was nothing, I may have been flirting but I’m not sure. I didn’t think I would see her again so I didn’t think it mattered but it turned out she is a potential client. We went to dinner with her and Tiff’s step cousin. She told me she was attracted to me. NOTHING HAPPENED!” I concluded abruptly.
“You met Tiffany unni’s cousin?! Ohmigod! I was beginning to think her family was imaginary…” Kryssie asked excitedly.
“Kryssie! Is that all you have to say? Weren’t you listening to what I was saying? I met someone… we flirted… she said she was attracted to me!” I summarized. “Aren’t you mad?”
“Jessie… If I got mad everytime someone mad a pass at you or you flirted with someone… my head would have already exploded long ago…” she said calmly.
“But… I flirted… with someone else… and I think I might have been attracted to her… I’ve wronged you, Kryssie…!”
“Nothing happened…?”
“No!”
“Do I have anything to worry about?”
“What?”
“That’s all I need to know. Jessie, there’s going to be a million people who will find you attractive, I mean why wouldn’t they? Look at you… And some of those people, you’ll be attracted to as well. You may or may not flirt with them… and that’s fine… It’s like getting rid of nervous energy. As long as you don’t do anything else, we’ll be fine. It’s not like you have feelings for this girl, right? So the ultimate question is… do I have anything to worry about?”
“No. Definitely not!” I was sure of it.
“Good! Then stop worrying… but I do appreciate the honesty. It justifies my trust in you… And if I ever find myself being attracted to someone else and end up flirting with them, I’ll let you know too… Now, give me a kiss… or would you rather I join you in the bath?” she said cheekily.
When did this rascal get so mature?
“I don’t deserve you…” I told her. I meant it. She was better than me in so many ways.
“I know… but my stupid heart still loves you… so I can’t do anything about it…” she poked me in the cheek.
“Stop it! Stop making me love you more!”
And this was the fluff that I had grown so accustomed to.
“Never! I’m going to make it so you can’t leave me ever!”
“Ugh! Come here, you!” I pulled her by the shirt and pressed our lips together.
The feeling was still overwhelming even after the countless kisses we’ve had. It took over my entire being and wiped every trace of the girl whom I thought could shake my feelings for Kryssie.
I should have known… it was impossible.
Author's Note: So, today is Thanksgiving. I just want to thank all of you reading this story. I really appreciate the support especially those who subscribed, commented and of course upvoted! That means so much... There's no point in me writing if there's no one to read it. I know there are at least 10 of you who constantly leave comments, which is nice since that's basically the joy for any author... A special thanks to Iya who has been such a great supporter outside of the story ^_^ And of course... Michelle... my wonderful dongsaeng who keeps me entertained with our interesting conversations and feeds me ideas even though she probably doesn't even know it. May our conversation never end and remember, unni is always here for you... I'll cross the border if need be... LOL!
Happy Thanksgiving, my lovelies! Gobble, gobble! >.<
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