(Krystal’s POV)

(Flashback…)

Krystal: Aged 15, Jessica: Aged 20

“Kryssie! Wake up! Wake up!” Jessie shouted into my ear while I was still asleep causing me to bolt upright and bumping my head into hers.

“Owww!” I rubbed my head where I had bumped it. “What the heck, Jessie?”

She was rubbing her head too. “Sorry Kryssie… That was a totally unexpected reaction… I guess I shouldn’t have stood so close...” she chuckled.

Yes, you shouldn’t have stood so close…

“Why are you up so early?” I asked as I laid back down and curled back into my sheets.

“But we agreed to get an early start…” she whined.

“Too early… Just a while longer…” I mumbled as I started drifting off again.

I usually didn’t have a problem waking up early but I had trouble falling asleep the night before so I was still feeling a little tired and my body was aching.

“Awww… is little Kryssie still feeling sleepy? I thought I’m usually the sleepyhead…” she joked.

“Sorry, Jessie… I didn’t sleep well…” I told her.

“What? Why? Are you okay? Are you not well? Are you feeling sick? You were a little off yesterday night…” she asked without pausing in between each question. She started feeling around my face to check if I was sick.

“I’m fine Jessie… I’m fine… It’s just one of those things… Just give me a few minutes, I’ll be up…”

“No, no… if you’re not feeling well, you should rest…” She started my hair.

For whatever reason, my hand reached out for hers. I grabbed it and hugged onto her arm like a pillow.

And for whatever reason, she didn’t resist. She just knelt beside my bed and continued my hair with her other hand.

“Sorry. I know you came all the way home… I do really want to spend time with you too…”

“Shhhh… it’s okay. We can do that any time…”

“But you’re leaving tomorrow… Who knows when the next time you’ll be home…”

“Well then, we’ll just have to make this work won’t we?”

“Hmmmm?”

She got up, climbed over me and got into my bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Spending quality time with my baby sister…” she answered.

I thought about protesting but for that moment, I welcomed her intrusion.

I wasn’t sure why I was allowing myself to be so needy. Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t seen her in awhile and I did really miss her. The fact that I only had that one day to spend with her before she had to leave again made me yearn for her extra attention.

Then there was a knock on the door.

“Girls… do you want some breakfast?” mom asked as she walked in.

“Kryssie’s not feeling well, mom…” Jessie told her.

“Oh sweetie, are you ill? How bad is it?”

“It’s not bad… I think I just slept badly, that’s all. I’ll be fine…” I reassured her.

“Don’t worry, mom. I’ll stay with her until she feels better,” Jessie added.

“Alright, but your father and I are going out to run some errands after breakfast so Jessie you’re in charge. Call me if anything happens or if you two need anything.”

“Yes, mom…” we both replied at the same time.

“Hey, have you lost weight? You feel so bony…” Jessie said after wrapping herself around me.

“Uhm… no… I don’t think so…” I replied shyly.

It’s probably all those dinners I’d missed…

“Stop skipping dinner…” she told me.

“How’d you know…?”

“Mom told me… She said that you won’t come out for dinner sometimes…”

I didn’t want to stare at your empty seat…

“I just haven’t felt that hungry during dinner…” I lied.

“Kryssie… you won’t lie to me, right?” she asked out of the blue.

“What? O-Of course not…” I just lied about not lying…

“Are you starving yourself? Because you shouldn’t. You’re skinny enough as is…”

“NO! I’m not starving myself, I swear!”

“Are you sure?!”

“Yes, I swear! I promise! I’m not. I still eat a lot… It’s only sometimes that I don’t feel hungry during dinner…”

“Hmmm… okay… I worry about you when mom tells me these things…”

“Has she been telling on me? I can’t believe her… I’m fine, Jessie!”

“No. I’ve been checking up on you through her. I know you won’t tell me some things…”

I didn’t know whether to feel outraged or touched that she had been quietly keeping tabs on me.

“It’s because I’m fine. Why won’t anyone believe me?” I complained.

“It’s because you’re the maknae. We all worry about you… You’re our baby,” she said as she rubbed my cheeks.

“I’m 15 this year! I’m not a baby!”

She chuckled. “Yes, yes… I can see that. You’re already taller than I am…”

“Exactly!”

“You’re still my baby sister though… always.”

Why does she always bring that up?!

“That !”

“Does it really?”

“No…”

Of course not. It was annoying but I secretly loved being babied by her. I still loved having my protective big sister watching over me… sometimes…

“You rascal!”

“Well… good news is I think I’m feeling better… I can get up now…” I told her.

I got up from the bed and held out my hand to help her up. She took hold of my hand but instead of using it to pull herself up, she pulled me back into bed instead.

“Jessie! Why’d you do that?!”

“We were having a nice moment… Let’s just stay in bed and talk for awhile. Hmmm? Hmmm?” she said with aegyo.

I sighed. “You want me to stay in bed or you want me to get up? Decide…”

“It’s early yet… Let’s get up later. We can head out for lunch instead.”

“And you wanted to get up early… I knew you would change your mind, you bum.”

“You got me… I’m too easily swayed.”

We continued talking for a little bit before dozing off again. When we next woke, it was just enough time for us to get ready and head out for lunch.

“So where’d you want to go for lunch? Do you miss anything?” I asked her.

“Uhm… let’s go to that place mom and dad always took us on the weekends… Speaking of mom and dad. I should let them know that you’re all better and that we’re heading out as planned.”

I nodded in agreement. “You’d better, since you’re in charge. Otherwise, you’d just be kidnapping me.”

“It’s not kidnapping if you come willingly.”

“Yes it is! If you trick a kid into going with you, that’s still kidnapping.”

“Damn, you’re right, you smarty pants!”

I laughed. “It’s okay, I won’t tell on you.”

 “Aish! You rascal! After that you want to just walk around? I don’t really have anything in mind that I want to do.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. It’s always nice just to walk around.”

So we went for lunch, then we just walked around the city. Nothing special and nothing out of the ordinary. It was just comforting having her beside me. Except… there was a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever she held my hand, which was pretty much throughout the day. If she wasn’t holding my hand, she had her arm linked with mine and leaned her head against my shoulder. I didn’t hate it… the feeling was just… a little… unnerving. It was probably nothing. I was just thinking too much.

We got home in time to have dinner with mom and dad. All four of us at the dinner table, it felt complete. But it just made me sad again thinking that this time tomorrow I would be starring at her empty seat yet again. I finished dinner quickly and headed back to my room.

“Kryssie, are you alright? Are you not feeling well again?” Jessie asked as she entered my room.

“No. Everything is good. Today was fun. I’m glad you got to come home at least for this one day.”

“Today was fun! I’m glad I got to spend some time with you, but I can tell there’s something wrong, especially after we got home.”

I kept quiet, wondering if I should tell her what was on my mind.

“Just tell me, Kryssie. I’m leaving tomorrow so if you tell me now, maybe I can help you,” she pressed.

“You really want to know…?”

“Yes.”

“There’s nothing you can do about it and I don’t want to make you feel bad…”

“I won’t and you don’t know if I can help if you don’t tell me.”

I’m certain of it. What’s the use of telling you that I can’t get used to you being away?

“I… I don’t like having dinner because… because it makes me sad every time I have to look at your empty seat. So I rather just lock myself in my room, it’s far less depressing,” I admitted.

She took a few steps closer to me. I could see that her expression now was one of pity and guilt.

She reached out for me but I avoided her.

“See! I told you that you’d feel bad and there’s nothing you could do about it! I don’t want you to look at me like I’m a charity-case or something!”

“You’re not nor will you ever be a charity-case! You’re my sister. It just hurts me to know that you’re hurting. I never thought that you’d feel so strongly about me being away…”

“Neither did I. I was so sure that I would be fine. I mean of course I’d miss you but I wasn’t expecting to be unglued like this. I don’t understand it!”

She tried again for a hug but this time I let her. I needed it.

“I should have known. We haven’t been apart for more than a day since you were born. I know that the past few years we’ve kind of grown apart but I don’t think we’ve ever lost that bond we’ve had since we were little. And then I just went and left you, cold turkey. Of course you’d be feeling like this. It hasn’t been easy for me either, to tell you the truth…”

Yes… that makes sense… That must be it! She’s been having a hard time too? It’s not just me?

“Really?”

“Of course. I still remember the first time I held you after you were born. You were such a beautiful baby. The moment I laid eyes on you I knew we would be inextricable. Maybe because I wanted a baby sister so much that when mom was pregnant, I clung onto mom and I made sure I spoke to you every day. Even when I found out…” she trailed off.

“Found out what, Jessie?” I asked.

“Uhm, nothing… It’s not important. The point is, I think about you and home at least once a day, if not all day sometimes…”

“I feel so selfish that I feel this way though…”

“I’d be angry if you didn’t feel this way…”

“Why are you such a good sister?” I thought out loud.

“Because it’s you…”

A surge of blood flushed my face.

“You make me blush when you say things like that!” I pretended not to like it when I secret did.

“But you’re so cute when your cheeks are all red…” she pinched them, making them even redder.

“Owww! Stop it!” I swatted her hands away.

“Anyway, I can’t really do anything about being away… I guess you’re right in that sense. But I promise I’ll still call you every night. I’ll try and come home whenever I can.”

“No. I don’t want to trouble you, and I heard that the first year is the most important. You should concentrate on your studies. It’ll be embarrassing to have an older sister who dropped out of university,” I teased.

“Why you rascal! Who do you think I am? I’m Jessica Jung! There’s no way I’m going to be an embarrassment to you…”

I chuckled. “You’d better not because I don’t want to have to not acknowledge you as my sister. Anyway I’ll just wait until you come home for summer break. It’s not too long away…”

“Aish! Okay… Are you really going to be alright?”

“Yes. It must be harder on you that you’re away from home and you have to take care of yourself. If you can do that, then I can be strong too!”

“That’s my girl! But if you ever feel the need to call me, you should pick up the phone immediately!”

I nodded.

I must have done something good in my past life to have a sister like Jessie.

The next morning, I woke up early and helped mom make breakfast. I also made a batch of my brownies for her to take with her.

“You made brownies! For me?” she squealed when she saw them.

“I know they’re your favorite…”

“Only the ones you make…”

I slapped her arm. “You’re just saying that…”

“Am I?” she smirked.

“Shut up…”

She laughed.

After breakfast I helped her pack. Her friend was picking her up at eleven so that they could get back to Busan before sunset.

“So, study hard and be good!”

“Same to you!” I stuck my tongue out at her. “If any guy asks you out, you better tell me first. I have to approve of them before they are allowed to take you out!”

She giggled. “Yes ma’am! But I doubt that would happen…”

“Why not? Who wouldn’t want to date you?”

Did I really just say that? Crap! That was awkward! Why did you say that Krystal?!

She just laughed. “Even if they did, I might not be interested…”

Phew…! She didn’t think it was weird… Thank goodness…

“Jess, your friend is here!” dad shouted from the living room.

“I’ll be right out!”

She’s leaving already?! Ugh! Okay, Krystal… be strong! Don’t cry!

“Take care of yourself, okay? And mom and dad too…”

“I will, Jessie. You too.”

She pulled me into a hug. “I’ll see you when I come home for the break…”

I nodded.

Just like the last time, we kissed each other goodbye except this time I didn’t cry. I was determined to let Jessie go without her having a guilty conscience.

I walked her out to the door where her friend was waiting.

“Hey Tiff! This is my sister, Krystal,” Jessie greeted her friend.

“Oh, so you’re Krystal. Your sister talks about you non-stop. I’m Tiffany.”

I blushed.

“Hi, Tiffany unni. Thanks for letting my sister hitch a ride back,” I replied.

“No problem. She said she missed home desperately. I couldn’t say no to that…” she smiled brightly, her eyes forming cute little crescent shapes.

“Shut up! That’s not what I said!” Jessie objected.

“Okay, fine. I’m paraphrasing but I knew that’s what she meant,” Tiffany unni winked at me.

“Okay, okay, we’d better go,” Jessie said.

She bid mom and dad farewell, and then returned her attention to me.

“Okay, well…” she gave me another hug. “I love you.”

“I love you more. By the way, I like her, she’s nice,” I told her, I was referring to Tiffany unni of course.

“She is, isn’t she...? I’ll bring her over to visit the next time.”

“Okay.”

She picked up her things and walked out. I stood at the doorway to see her off.

“Bye, Jessie!” I called out one last time.

She waved back.

“She calls you Jessie?” I heard Tiffany unni ask.

“Yeah, I’ll explain later…” Jessie answered.

I watched them walk out of my line of sight before closing the door…