(Krystal’s POV)

Now that my two favorite unnis were together, I could happily hang up my bow and arrow. My days as cupid are happily behind me. I have to admit that I was quite lucky that I managed to pull this one off. If it had backfired, I really wouldn’t know how to live with myself for breaking up two best friends. It was a good thing that Tiffany unni and Taeyeon unni were both the sweetest, most kindhearted people I knew.

Actually, it was crazy to think that Taeyeon unni had secretly loved Tiffany unni for over 10 years without ever once expecting Tiffany unni to love her back. In a way, it was so poetic. Being best friends, they must have been through a lot together, and during all that time, Taeyeon unni never said a word. It must have been agonizing. How did she manage to hold it in for so long?

I knew that when I was trying to hide my feelings from Jessie that it was almost unbearable. The more I tried to hide it, the stronger they became. The more I tried to deny it, the clearer it became.

(Flashback…)

Krystal: Aged 15, Jessica: Aged 20

“Bye, Kryssie. I guess you’ve finally got your wish. I won’t be around to annoy you as often. I’ll see you the next time I come back home,” Jessie said to me after she bid mom farewell. Dad was driving her to the airport.

Jessie was headed off to university and she had decided to attend a school across the country from home, in Busan. This meant that she had to live away from home during the semester and only return during the break or holidays.

I was told that when I was younger, I couldn’t be torn from her. However, that didn’t last too long. As we got older, the dynamics of our relationship changed. As growing up would have it, I stopped clinging onto her and I started becoming annoyed whenever she would baby me. And even though there was always that special bond between us, our relationship got a little strained and we would end up fighting about all the little things.

But now that she was leaving for school across the country, I didn’t know what to make of it.

“I wouldn’t say that’s what I wished for. Do you really have to go all the way to Busan for school? There are so many universities in Seoul,” I asked.

“I thought you’d be happy that your annoying older sister wouldn’t be around…” she replied.

“Sure I know I’ve said I wished that you wouldn’t annoy me so much but I didn’t mean for you to go all the way across the country. I just meant…” I started choking up. “I’ll miss you so much, Jessie. What am I supposed to do without you around?”

Her expression turned to surprise. “Kryssie, I-I really didn’t think you’d care that I was going to be gone…”

My emotions started taking over. “When I told you to stop annoying me, I didn’t mean for you to leave me alone… It’s just one of those things that a bratty little sister says… You know I still love you right, Jessie?” I could feel my eyes starting to water.

She pulled me into a hug. “Of course I do, Kryssie. Of course I do. And I love you too. I’m not leaving because I don’t want to be around you, it’s just something I have to do as part of becoming an adult. Living away from home and taking care of myself… I think it will be good for me. I’ll be home for the holidays and semester breaks.”

“I don’t want you to leave, Jessie!” I suddenly became my five year old self again and clung onto her for dear life. I was actually really surprised at myself that I was taking Jessie’s departure this badly. I’ve already known about her plans to leave for awhile and I was a little saddened but I was sure that I would be okay with it. Apparently not.

“Oh, Kryssie… I have to… You know I have to… I promise to come home to visit the first chance I get,” she said while my hair.

“Girls… Jess… It’s time to go,” dad said. It was a much needed interruption because I really wouldn’t have let her go otherwise.

We walked to the car, hand-in-hand. I gripped her hand as tightly as I could, not letting go until the last second.

Dad loaded her luggage and she gave mom one last hug goodbye again without letting go of my hand.

Then she turned to me and gave me another hug. When she tried to pull out, I couldn’t let go of her.

“Kryssie, I have to go now… It’s not like it’s forever, I’ll be back in a couple of months for summer break. I’ll see you then, okay? You can always pick up the phone and give me a call…”

“It won’t be the same! I hate you!” I shouted at her and ran back into the house.

Why? Why am I so upset?

I knew I was being unreasonably overemotional about this whole situation but it was the first time she was going to be away for a long period of time and I just couldn’t fathom the idea of not seeing her everyday even if she did annoy me at times.

“Kryssie! Don’t be like this. I’m leaving now and is this how you want to leave things?” she asked as she came back into the house to find me. “I can’t keep dad waiting…”

I was now in full crying mode and I didn’t want her to see me like that so I covered my face and had my back turned, although my sobs could still obviously be heard.

“Don’t cry, Kryssie. It’s not the end of the world. If you want I’ll call you every night…”

I turned to face her. “I-I’m sorry I said I hated you. I didn’t mean it…”

“I know. It wasn’t easy for me to decide on leaving. I thought about you too and if I could really be away from home for that long… but it was exactly why I have to do this… Can you be strong for me? Otherwise I won’t be able to stop worrying about you…”

I felt guilty that I was making her feel bad for just living her life. It was totally unreasonable for me to think that she would be by my side for the rest of my life.

I nodded reluctantly.

“Good. Be a good girl, and listen to mom and dad. Don’t get into trouble, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Okay?”

I nodded again.

She wiped the tears from my face. Then, she cupped my face and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was lingering and dangerously close to my lips.

Dugeun, dugeun…

It had been awhile since we gave each other kisses. We used to do it when we were younger but when as I got older, it became a little embarrassing. So it threw me off a little when she did it.

What was that…?

“I really, really have to go now. Aren’t you going to give me a kiss back?”

I leaned in and pressed my lips on the skin of her cheek.

Dugeun, dugeun…

Seriously… what is that?!

She gave me one last hug and then headed out.

“Bye, Kryssie! I love you a lot!”

I love you too, Jessie…

That first semester she was away took getting used to. I kept expecting to see her when I walked past her room or for her to walk through the door at a certain time of day. When we had dinner, I just stared at her empty seat. Some days I just refused to have dinner because I didn’t want to look at her empty seat. It might have sounded a little over the top but it was how I felt.

“Sweetie, are you sure you don’t want dinner?” mom asked one night when I stayed in my room.

“Yes, I’m sure…” I answered.

“You miss Jessie, don’t you?”

“No… I’m fine, mom…” I lied. I never knew I could miss her this much.

“Okay, sweetie…”

But she called my bluff. She ended up bringing the food to my room for me. It was a good thing that mom understood me well.

I just felt so lonely not having her disturb me randomly.

But like she promised, she actually called me every night not matter how busy she was, even if it was just to say goodnight. I came to expect her call every night at 9.30.

One night, I was waiting for her call but the time passed 9.30 and she didn’t call. I waited. 10 o’clock and she still hadn’t called. I got a little worried so I tried calling her instead but she had switched off her phone. I was quite disappointed. Maybe she was busy or she had just forgotten.

I decided to give up on the call and hoped that she had a good explanation for not calling.

I was just about to get into bed when the door to my room suddenly burst open. I freaked out for a second until I realized that Jessie was standing at the doorway. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was it really her? I just stood in shock.

“I didn’t forget about you, Kryssie… I was trying to get home as quickly as possible…” she explained even without me having said anything. It was as if she knew I was waiting for her call. Actually she probably did since it was our nightly ritual.

“Jessie? What are you doing home?” I asked, still trying to comprehend what was happening.

“My last two classes for the day were cancelled and I found out that a friend of mine was coming back to Seoul for the weekend so I decided to catch a ride from her. Are you surprised? I really missed being home…” she said excitedly.

Then she launched herself into my arms before I could even react. She knocked me off my feet and we fell onto my bed with her still hugging me. I laid there, paralyzed.

Dugeun, dugeun…

Her face was so close to mine. I couldn’t even breathe. My mind went blank and everything went silent. All I saw was her face and that she was in a fit of giggles. She was so close I could see my own reflection in her eyes.

“Kryssie!” she shook me back to consciousness. “Kryssie! Did you hear what I said?”

“Huh? Sorry… what did you say?” I asked, still in a daze.

“I said that I have the entire day free tomorrow! You don’t have anything planned do you?”

“Uhm… no… I guess not…”

“Excellent! Then you’re mine, baby Jung!” she squealed.

Maybe because I was already getting ready for bed when she burst into my room but her excitement was really throwing me for a loop. I could feel my heart racing a mile a minute but my mind was completely unable to focus.

Why is my heart going crazy?

“Sounds great, Jessie…”

“You don’t sound too excited…” she said sounding a little disappointed.

“No, no! I’m really, really excited and I’m really, really happy that you’re home. I’m just still in shock that’s all…”

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t let you know beforehand but I wanted it to be a surprise!”

“I… I was feeling quite disappointed when I thought you had forgotten to call me…”

“I would NEVER forget! Actually my phone died on the way home. I forgot to charge it before leaving, silly me…”

It was actually really weird that Jessie and I got closer again after she left. We stopped bickering about every little thing, obviously because she wasn’t around to bicker with me. So now that she was back for the weekend, it was… unexpected how much it felt like when we were younger.

“I missed you…” I told her.

“Me too… Mom’s been telling me that it’s been hard on you…”

“That’s not true…”

“You should have told me…”

“And what if I did… You can’t do anything about it anyway…”

I had her stumped. She knew I was right.

“I’m sorry…” It was all she could say.

“Don’t be sorry. I understand…”

She was still on top of me and she was caressing my face with one hand while she used the other to support herself.

At this point my heart was beating against my chest so hard that I was sure she could hear it.

What is happening to me?!

“Uhm… J-Jessie… You can get off of me now… I can’t really breathe…”

“Oh, sorry!” She stood up immediately. “I was just too excited to see you…”

I felt myself blush so I got up and immediately hid my face by looking in a different direction.

“Uhm… so I’m sure you’re tired, right? You should go get some rest…” I told her.

“It was quite a long ride… over 5 hours… Okay, I’ll head off to bed now. You should too… Then we can get an early start tomorrow…”

I nodded. “Did you have something in mind that you wanted to do?”

“We can decide tomorrow. Goodnight, Kryssie. Sleep well,” she bid me and went back to her own room.

I clutched my chest the moment the door closed behind her. It felt as though I was having a heart attack. My heart was beating erratically and I was hyperventilating, but I wasn’t in pain nor was I about to collapse. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was going through.

That night, it took me awhile before I could fall asleep. I tried to make sense of why exactly my heart was behaving so oddly, but I couldn’t come up with a logical answer…