(Krystal’s POV)

(Flashback…)

Krystal: Aged 15, Jessica: Aged 20

Slowly but surely I got used to Jessie being away. Just like anything else in life, people tended to adapt to their surroundings and circumstances, no matter if it was good or bad, or whether they liked it or not. It was a human coping mechanism, although some people were better at it than others.

She continued to keep her promise of calling me every night. She never once disappointed me. Sometimes she sounded really tired or stressed but she pretended to be okay. I knew though, so during those times I always kept the conversation short.

Just like that, time passed quickly and it was exam week for her. I told her that she was excused from calling me during that week because I knew she would be swamped and I didn’t want her to be distracted. Yet she still called. I scolded her the first night she called but she told me that hearing my voice gave her strength. It was a good thing that you can’t hear someone blushing, because if you could, I would have been very loud.

I knew that after exam week came summer break and that meant that she was returning home for almost 3 months! I was so excited.

This time, she took a flight back to Seoul and dad brought me along to the airport to pick Jessie up.

Where is she? Where is she?

I scanned the arrival gate to look for her. Then the door opened and out walked the familiar figure of my big sister. Behind her was another familiar figure.

Oh, it’s Tiffany unni… They flew back together…

I threw my hand up and waved it at her to signal her.

She spotted me almost immediately, her expression broke into a smile and she started running my way.

“Kryssie!” she leapt into my arms.

I was shocked at her complete disregard for the fact that we were in a public area yet I caught her firmly.

“How was the flight? Did you fly back with Tiffany unni?” I asked.

“It was good… It felt really short. And yup we flew together. She’s also back to visit her family.”

“Hey, Krystal! Hi, Mr. Jung,” she greeted me and bowed to dad.

“Girls, did you have a good flight?” dad asked.

“Yes, dad,” Jessie answered.

“Good, good… shall we head home? Tiffany is it? Do you need a ride?” dad offered.

“Don’t worry Mr. Jung, I have a ride home. It’s waiting for me outside,” she replied.

“Oh, okay. Well then, girls we should get going…” dad said to us.

“So let me know when you’re free. You can come over or we can go do something…” Jessie said to Tiffany unni.

“Yup, sounds good. I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Mr. Jung. Bye, Krystal.”

We headed our separate ways. Dad took Jessie’s luggage and walked ahead of us.

“Is she always so bubbly?” I asked Jessie.

“Pretty much…” she giggled.

“Is she going to come hang out sometime during the break?”

“Yes, that’s the plan at least… If she has time…”

She must be special because Jessie doesn’t really have many close friends whom she bothered having over…

“I see… So is university all it’s cracked up to be?”

“Uhm… It’s definitely as competitive as they say. Everyone is killing themselves trying to keep up with all the work and competition. Some people get really crazy…”

“And for you?”

“Well… it’s definitely a challenge… You’ll know when it’s your turn…”

“That’s still a long time away… I can’t even imagine how hard the entrance exams are going to be…”

“Don’t worry. You’ll do well. You’re smarter than I am so if I managed to get in, you’ll probably be top five percent.”

“Now I feel pressured!”

“Sorry, sorry… you’re not even in high school yet…  You should just chill and enjoy being young!”

“Both you girls should just do your best and not worry about other people. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others,” dad said.

I thought it was interesting that dad decided to comment on that. He was a man of few words but when he spoke, he always had something wise to say. Either that or he would make a terrible attempt at telling a joke.

“I missed you, dad,” Jessie said as she playfully linked arms with dad and leaned onto his shoulder.

“Yes, I missed you too…” dad replied awkwardly while patting her head. Dad was never very good at showing affection but we both knew that he adored us.

“What about me?” I whined and pouted.

“Of course, you too… That goes without saying…” She linked her other arm around mine. “It feels good to be home…”

When we got home, mom was already waiting for us with dinner ready. It was a spread of all of Jessie’s favorite dishes.

“Mom!” Jessie squealed as she ran to give mom a hug.

“Sweetie, glad to have you home,” mom gave her a hug and a kiss. “How did your exams go?”

“Okay, I guess…” Jessie answered.

“As long as you gave it your best…”

“That’s what dad said!” I interrupted.

“Your father is a wise man…” mom told us as she gave dad a kiss.

It was amazing that mom and dad still had so much affection for each other even after so many years.

I hope that one day I will find someone whom I can have that with…

I stood back and watched as mom and dad drifted off into their own world… and then my eyes shifted to Jessie. She quietly snuck a piece of meat from what mom had prepared for dinner into , not realizing that I was watching. Then she looked over at me and caught me staring at her. She just gave me a smile and a wink, and for some reason, I felt myself blush as my heart began to race…

---

(Present day…)

“What are you thinking about?” Jessie asked.

She was on her laptop while I was lying on her bed staring at her. I was initially reading a book but then I got distracted by her. Just her. Just the fact that she was there… I could look at her all day…

“I was just thinking about mom and dad and how they’re so happy even after all these years… I want that…” I answered shyly.

“I know… Me too… And we will…” she said confidently without even looking my way. She was so sure there wasn’t a hint of doubt in her voice.

“You can’t know that…” I said to myself.

“Yes I can…” she responded even though that statement wasn’t meant to be heard. “Because you mean everything to me and all I want to do is make you happy.”

“And what if you can’t make me happy?” I meant it as a joke.

“Then I’ll give you up to the person who can…”

“What?! You’re just going to give me up? Just like that?!”

“You didn’t let me finish! If there’s someone else who can make you happier, I’ll give you up BUT… I doubt it very much. I’m certain that there’s no one out there who can and will love you more than I have the moment you were born. And for that reason I know that there’s no one who can give you more happiness than I can.”

I don’t think my heart had ever felt fuller than it was at that very moment. She somehow always manages to tell me or show me that she loved me more than I ever thought she possibly could.

“It doesn’t count from when I was born… that was just sisterly love…” she was so serious, I decided to continue joking with her.

She finally turned her gaze towards me. “Perhaps but that’s no less than my love for you now…”

She did it again!

“That’s not fair, Jessie!”

“What’s not fair?”

“You… The fact that you’ve given me so much and I didn’t even realize it… The fact that you always make me feel so loved, adored, protected and happy… I haven’t done or given you anything…”

She got up and walked over to me. She knelt beside the bed and took my hand.

“Don’t you get it? You’ve given me everything… Just the fact that you love me, that’s all I need. Unless you’re telling me you don’t love me…”

“Are you kidding?! I knew I loved you since… since…”

“Since when?”

“You remember the summer after your first semester away?”

“Really?! Since then?!”

“Well… I wasn’t sure what it was then but now I know… It was really when you left for Busan… That day… I don’t even know why but all of a sudden, since that day, every time you hugged me or held my hand or kissed me… just one touch, it made my heart race, it gave me butterflies. I was so miserable while you were away… but just hearing your voice every night made my day better… But that summer… it became pretty clear…”

---

(Flashback to the summer break…)

Krystal: Aged 15, Jessica: Aged 20

I thought I would love Jessie being home… and I did but for some reason, I found myself feeling really awkward around her. I wanted to spend every second with her but spending every second with her was making me feel… nervous… around her.

What’s wrong with me? Has she been away for that long that I’m now not used to her being around?

Still, I was determined not to let it faze me… It was probably just me going through an awkward phase.

“Kryssie, you want to go to the beach with Tiffany and me tomorrow?” Jessie asked.

Tiffany unni had been spending quite a lot of time with Jessie throughout the break, but of course everything they did, they included me. Tiffany unni was very friendly and she was very nice to me. I grew fond of her quickly and I enjoyed her company. However, whenever I saw her and Jessie having a moment, a strange feeling would come over me but only for a second, and then it would dissipate.

“Sure. Sounds like fun...”

The next day, Tiffany unni picked us up and drove us to the beach.

“So, Krystal… Do you have a boyfriend?” Tiffany unni asked out of nowhere.

“Me? No… Why?”

“I’m just curious… You’re at the age when you start discovering boys…”

“Uhm… am I? I don’t know… I think I still feel a little awkward around boys…” I responded.

“Wow, Tiff… You don’t have a filter do you? Stop making my baby sister feel uncomfortable!” Jessie butted in.

“No… It’s okay… I just haven’t really taken an interest in anyone… I don’t even know what it feels like to like someone…”

“Oh, you’ll know…! It’ll be pretty obvious… Obviously, you’ll feel really attracted to them. Your heart will race just by them looking at you. You’ll feel electricity when they touch you. You’ll miss them all the time. You’ll want them to pay attention to you but you don’t want them to know that. If they give their attention to someone else, you’ll feel unreasonably jealous. Basically, you’ll turn into one big mess when you first start to like someone…” Tiffany unni explained.

“Stop scaring my sister, Tiff! Why are you making it sound so bad? Don’t listen to her, Kryssie…” Jessie said.

“So… what Tiffany unni described is inaccurate?” I asked.

“Uhm… No… It’s pretty accurate… But it’s not as bad as it sounds…” Jessie admitted.

“Great! Sounds like fun… I can’t wait…”

“Honestly, we all go through it… It really isn’t that bad… Especially if that person likes you back… then it’ll be the best feeling you’ll ever feel…” Tiffany unni assured me.

“Jessie… have you gone through it?” I was really curious as to what her answer would be. It was the one thing she’s never mentioned to me.

“Hmmm… well… it’s different for everyone so it’s difficult for me to say…” she replied.

She didn’t answer my question… It only left me even more curious…

When we got to the beach, we found ourselves a little spot that was not too directly under the sun. We set our belongings down and laid out some towels to sit on. I had brought a book along with me and I decided to break it out. Tiffany unni and Jessie, on the other hand, were more interested in going into the water. As they prepared to go into the water, I found my eyes wandering over to Jessie. I felt myself blush seeing her in her bathing suit and quickly turned to look elsewhere.

Ohmigod! What’s wrong with you Krystal?!

I took another look at her. She was… flawless…

What the heck, Krystal! She’s your sister! What are you doing?! What on earth is going through your head?! You’re sick!

I started freaking out.

“Uhm… You know… I suddenly feel like going for a walk…” I told them but I actually just needed to clear my head, away from them for just a little bit.

“You want me to go with you?” Jessie asked.

“Uhm… NO! I mean… no… you go have fun… I’ll just take a short stroll and be right back… The weather is just so nice…” I didn’t understand why but the last thing I wanted was for Jessie to come along…

“Okay… Be careful! Don’t go too far! Make sure I can still see you…”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Jessie! You don’t have to keep me on a leash.”

“And what am I supposed to do with myself if something happens to you?!”

I was so taken aback by the question I went silent.

“O-Okay… I-I’ll stay close…”

She let out a sigh. “I just want you to be safe…”

“I understand…”

“Okay, good…”

As I had told her, I just took a short stroll along the beach. When I got far enough so that I could still see her but I felt comfortable that she wasn’t watching me like a hawk, I stopped and sat with my feet just reaching the shoreline. I could still see Jessie having a fun time with Tiffany unni in the water.

Isn’t she having just a little TOO much fun?!

Why am I so upset? And what was that back there… Was I checking out my own sister?!

Jung Soojung! Are you right in the head?! What is the matter with you?!

I thought about all the weird feelings I had been getting around Jessie ever since the day she left for Busan. And then it struck a bell… what Tiffany unni had said when she described what it was like when you liked someone…

NO! IT COULDN’T BE! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THIS IS COMPLETELY WRONG! THIS IS SICK!

No… no… no… no… no…! Jessie’s my sister! There’s no way…

But the signs are all there…

I looked over at Jessie again. She and Tiffany unni were practically all over each other.

No, Krystal! They’re just playing… having a little fun… Why are you thinking like this…? Are you jealous?!

Am I jealous?! Why would I be jealous?!

I was jealous of Tiffany unni… My heart raced just from one touch, one look… I never realized how beautiful Jessie was… I missed Jessie all the time…

OHMIGOD! I LIKE JESSIE?! How?! Why?! No! This is insanity!

I started to hyperventilate. My heart started beating erratically. My head was spinning. Then everything went black.

“Kryssie! Kryssie!”

The sound of someone calling my name started bringing me to consciousness.

“Kryssie! Wake up! Kryssie!”

My eyes slowly pried open and Jessie's face was only inches away from mine. I panicked and tried to get up too quickly, bumping my head into hers.

Why does this keep happening?!

“Owww!” we both cried and rubbed our heads.

“Ohmigod, Kryssie! Are you alright?! What happened?” Jessie asked as she started checking around my head and face to see if there was any sign of injury.

“Uh-Uhm… I-I’m not sure… I-I just felt really light headed all of a sudden and then I just kind of… passed out…?” I answered. But I was lying; I knew why exactly I passed out. It was from shock. Shock and horror!

“Oh… this is not good… I think we should get it checked out…”

“NO! I mean… well, we don’t even know if there’s anything wrong… I think I just need some rest.”

“Well… then we should head home. I’m sorry Tiff… would you mind cutting this trip short?” Jessie asked Tiffany unni.

“No, it’s fine. I agree that we should get Krystal home.”

Jessie tried to pull me up but her touch just made me panic and I pulled my hand away immediately.

She looked at me in shock.

“Oh, s-sorry… I just uhm… my hand suddenly cramped up…” It was the worst lie in the world but it was all I could come up with at that moment.

“You’re really starting to worry me, Kryssie! We need to get home as soon as possible!”

On our way home, I stayed quiet the entire ride. When we got home, I immediately headed straight for my room and stayed in bed. Everyone fussed over me, especially Jessie, but I wasn’t sick and had no symptoms of any kind so they decided to just let me rest.

Over the next few following days, I kept to myself and avoided Jessie. I was afraid. I was confused. I was angry at myself. Now that I was aware of my feelings, I couldn’t shake them. I tried to come up with other possible explanations but there was no use. I was quite certain… I knew it in my heart… I liked Jessie… more than a sister… It was sick! It was unnatural! I could only hope that it was infatuation…

(End of flashback...)