Um, Hello?

 

“Taeyeon honey, drink this.”

 

The said woman turned her head towards a motherly voice behind her, smiling before received the milk she gave her.

 

“Gomapta, eomma.”                                                                                            

“Don’t be too stressed out, Taeyeon-ah. Eat and drink healthily. I’m sure Jiyong wouldn’t like it if you get sick.” The older woman her hair gently.

“I’m perfectly fine eomma. How can’t I be? Being surrounded with this pretty place, even with a prettier person like you.” Taeyeon circled her hand on Kwon eomma’s waist. The older woman laughed at her daughter-in-law adorableness.

“Then what’s with that troubled face, dear?”

 

Taeyeon sighed, knowing that her face expression had gave it all to Jiyong’s mother and nothing she could do to hide it anymore. She didn’t think about discontentment nor regret. Heck, those things never had crossed her mind during her stays in Dolce Vita. But seeing the worried face of Kwon Omonim, when she had been nothing but a supportive and attentive mother figure for her, Taeyeon felt she has to clear the misunderstanding.

 

 

“I’m just – there are few things that crossed my mind.”

“What is it?” Kwon eomma settled herself on the coach beside her. “Maybe you want to share it with me? I hope it can lessen your burden.”

 

Though hard to be freed from her usual bottled-up self, she finally tried and let out her troubled mind to her Jiyong’s mother.

 

 

It had actually started with her face-timing with the one and only Tiffany Hwang. Her LA-residing best girl had constantly in touch with Taeyeon after the wedding. Tiffany joked that now Taeyeon is legally Jiyong’s, she’ll get some restraint to sneaking her out. It was easy for Tiffany beforehand to sneak taeyeon out of the country. Though she still had to seek Jiyong’s permission, she would turn all sassy if Jiyong refused to let Taeyeon go.

 

The conversation would usually light and full of laughs. But yesterday night was slightly different. Given that date was the exact same time as their last comeback with Holiday Night, the two girls couldn’t help but reminisce their good old memories.

 

“Do you remember the first time we saw the dance tutorial for Holiday?” Tiffany asked her.

 

Taeyeon remembered it perfectly like it was just yesterday. The dance was tough, all the girls were literally dropping their mouth. They even discussed about giving Shim Jae Won a petition to change the choreography. Well, at least changed the move to a bit easier for them. Though they were young at heart and spirit, but their age was absolutely couldn’t lie.

 

But they had to learn it, eventually. Given their position in the company that hadn’t been settled either, the girls did certainly know that they had not enough right to complain. Being the safest one, Taeyeon had tried to talk with the Director. But at the end of the day, they had to swallow the hard pill of rejection because Taeyeon’s protest alone was not enough to change the Director decision.

 

So they learnt it.

And then slayed it.

 

It was all fun, taeyeon reminisced. The recordings, the dance practice, the MV shooting, the girls were all happy. Taeyeon even couldn’t recall the happier time other than this one. Though at that time, there were big wolves cornering them, they were still happy and content. They had learn the hard way when during Jessica’s departure. So this time around, they had promised to become each other strength and support system.

 

The company themselves were seemingly giving the girls their support, given on many times they had PR and promotion meeting for celebrating their tenth year anniversary, the girls were liking all the plans and thought they would have a mind blowing comeback, just like Big Bang did with theirs.

 

Well, they thought wrong.

 

As their comeback date approached, the tension on the company became more unbearable. Especially to the girls who still refused to sign the extension of their contract. All the friendly face they had received earlier from the board of directors gradually turned sourer. All the happy plans they had designed was putted on a halt.

 

The girls were furious, but in the same time hopeless because they knew, they had no strength to fight back.

 

Taeyeon could still remember how desperate it felt for her, knowing she couldn’t stood up for the girls as their leader, knowing from things that happened at that time would likely lead to the direction she fear the most.

 

 

And well, it happened.

 

 

She still remember it vividly how she impulsively called Jiyong in the middle of the night after she received the news from Sooyoung. How Jiyong was worried to death after he found her in the bathtub, sobbing hard whilst soaking wet. How Jiyong was hugging her tight all night long until the sun came up and had to cancel his recording schedule with Teddy.

 

It wasn’t appropriate to say that Taeyeon was sad.

She was devastated.

 

Even though she already saw it coming. But it still hurt as when she faced it in reality. If it wasn’t because of Jiyong’s presence that was keeping her sanity, she didn’t know what would happen to her.

 

The meeting after the news reached the news outlet was nowhere near nice. Usually, the goofy atmosphere was always there in each of their meetings. But now, more tears were out than words that spoken, they even failed to give each other proper greeting except tears since the first time they arrived at Sooyoung’s house. The feeling of vulnerability and disappointment were so strong, especially for those three women whose names had become headlines on many news portal.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Seohyun managed to speak in between her heavy sobs. Amongst all the members, she was feeling the guiltiest, given on she was the first person who officially walked out from the agency. She thought her decision had affected other members.

“What are you sorry about, Joohyun-ah? You are a smart grown-up woman thus makes you have a full right to choose for yourself.” Hyoyeon the maknae’s hair affectionately.

“On contrary, we would be mad and disappointed to you if you couldn’t fight for your own good.” Sunny added, hands clapped tightly around Tiffany’s.

Sooyoung wiped her tears, still sobbing. “Sunkyu unnie, though I want to depend so hard on your words, I couldn’t.” Taeyeon was on her side, mindlessly her shoulders.

 

Sometimes taeyeon was hating herself because it wasn’t her that have the best comforting words. She was the leader, but the vulnerability that weighed her shoulder had blocked every rational mind she had, swallowing every words she wished to speak.

 

Taeyeon wanted to say that it’s okay to fight back.

Taeyeon wanted to say that it’s not them who bring the team down.

Taeyeon wanted to say that it’s always SNSD, they’re SNSD, regardless what will happen in the future.

 

She couldn’t.

 

 

“Taeyeon-ah, say something.” It was Fany’s words that pulled her back from her reverie and brought all the attention to herself.

 

She also hated when, instead of her who should taking care of other girls, it was the other way around. The member, particularly this woman, was always reaching out to her, preventing her to drown herself silently into their misery.

She hated herself so much.

 

Taeyeon gave her sisters the strongest-encouraging smile she could muster, “You know what, we’ll still SNSD. No matter what will happen in the future, either you’re signing back or back out, you’ll always be my sisters.”

 

 

“Hey baby.” Jiyong hugged his woman immediately after he saw Taeyeon’s face. He picked her up at Sooyoung’s house an hour after their tearful meeting ended. Sunny, Hyoyeon, and Fany were staying overnight at Sooyoung’s while the rest of the girls went back to their residences.

 

Jiyong whispered sweet, unintelligible words on her ear while hugging her tightly, giving her the sense of comfort she’d been craving for. The meeting had exhausted each of the girls, and if it wasn’t because of Jiyong’s persistence, she might as well spent the night at Sooyoung’s house.

 

“Let’s get you home, baby.” Jiyong cupped Taeyeon cheeks before kissed her forehead softly.

“Be careful on your way home.” Sooyoung told her while giving her goodbye hug,

“You’re precious to me, Choi Sooyoung. Please be happy.” Taeyeon whispered those words to Sooyoung and had the taller girl break down a little. Sooyoung shed her tears before nodding her head softly.

“You’re also precious to me, Kim Taeyeon.”

 

 

Jiyong saw the interaction between the two girls with tears on his eyes. What they were facing now was a tough and hard reality. He had witnessed the impact when the company ripped out one member from the team. How devastated would it feels when there were three of them? The look on Taeyeon and Sooyoung’s face was enough proof to what he had thinking.

 

 

Taeyeon smiled at the taller woman before completely walked out from her apartment in Jiyong's embrace.

 

 

“What are you feeling right now?” Jiyong softly asked his woman while hugging her small frame on the bed.

“Anything but the happy.” Taeyeon answered. She snuggled closer to Jiyong’s chest, feeling somewhat calm after inhaling Jiyong’s body scent.

“You’re stronger than this. Don’t let it drag your spirit down.” Jiyong reminded her, eyes gazing down on her brown irises.

Taeyeon gave him a little grateful smile, “You make me stronger, Jiyongie.”

“We make each other strong, baby.” Jiyong now her cheek, “You did the exact same thing with my sanity.”

 

 

It wasn’t just an empty words, what Jiyong had said. For him, their position right now was kind of Déjà vu. They were on this exact position right now, few months ago, with the only difference was Jiyong was hugged by Taeyeon, not the other way around.

Jiyong was crushed down by the news of his Hyung, Choi Seunghyun, who was currently serving their country in peace, involved in one of the most forbidden, unforgivable scandal in their country.

 

Drugs.

Even worse? There was a woman, a trainee, who caught being with him in his villa when the incident happened.

 

Jiyong dropped the frypan he was holding at their kitchen when Seunghyun’s manager dropped the bomb through a phone call. It felt like his entire world fell down, crushing onto his head. Jiyong could practically feel all the blood drain on his body and bleed out from his heart. Taeyeon came rushing to her kitchen after she heard a loud clank and found Jiyong gripping hard the edge of kitchen counter, blank face and terrified eyes. Taeyeon had to pull his face with her hands to bring back his focus. The only words he uttered was ‘Hyung’ before he dashed out from the kitchen and their apartment, leaving Taeyeon in utter confuse and worry.

Soon after the news had reached her from the crying Fany in less than fifteen minutes since Jiyong’s sudden departure, taeyeon had mirrored the exact same state like Jiyong earlier.

 

It was hard for Fany, then how would Jiyong feel?

 

Fany told her that Seunghyun was in the middle of interrogation, while his YG family anxiously waiting at their HQ. Taeyeon drove herself to YG Building. Upon her arrival, she was being told by the receptionist that all the artist had gathered in one of the building main hall. Once she arrived, the first thing that caught her eyes was the anxious looking Jiyong, hand being hold by Dara Park. Normally, the uncomfortable lump of jealousy would fill , choking her down. But now, pity was the only feeling she had as she looked at YG himself, face clearly tired and anxious.

 

“Taeyeon.” Her gaze moved back towards a familiar voice that called her name. She smiled after seeing her husband, walking to her direction with regret clearly painted on his handsome face. “Taeyeon, I’m so sorry for leaving like that.” Jiyong engulfed her in his embrace, arms tightening as Taeyeon’s ‘It is fine’ muffled on his chest.

 

Her hands was roamed around his back in soothing manner while kissing the inner side of his cheek. Jiyong let her go after a while, still with his unfocussed eyes while his hands softly caressing her cheeks.

 

“I’m just scared, that’s all.”

“I’m so sorry.” Jiyong heaved a troubled sigh, “I should at least told you where I am going.”

“Fany did the job. Apparently one of your acquaintances had told her about the news thus made her called me in tears and utter panic.”

“I think it was Seungri who updated her.” Jiyong said before dipping his head down to catch her lips on his in a quick kiss.

“How’s Oppa?”

“They had finished the interrogation fifteen minutes ago but we haven’t received the result. It slowly kills me bit by bit.”

“Patience baby. There’s nothing we can do except pray for his good report, okay?”

 

But the good report they’ve been waiting was never happen. At the end, the court rendered him guilty so he had to back off from his military service to face his punishment. The pressure from the media, haters, and netizen had got him in a depressed state. It was multiplied by the fact that Seunghyun was one sensitive person. What Jiyong afraid the most was Seunghyun trying to attempt a suicide.

 

And he was right.

 

Taeyeon had to witness her man fell deeper into his misery when she thought he was fine already. Jiyong kept on blaming himself, for he should’ve been Seunghyun’s strength at this moment, instead of being busy with his own achievement and fulfillment. Seunghyun fell into comatose, it was partly because his incapability of protecting him.