Is it passing away?
Is our love
a heartbreaking memory?
You are turning back
Even tears are not enough
to hold you back?

My Love, I love you, I love you
Are you listening?
My Love, Please don’t forget
Please don’t erase our love

*

Taeyeon’s Penthouse

Bedroom, 2nd Floor

‘Your next schedule is Louis Quatorze opening brand in ApGujong @ 5 p.m.’

‘Don’t forget to pick Seohyun up before attending Mixxo Korea photo shoot @ 7 p.m.’

‘Nature Republic want to renew the contract. Be there @ 3 p.m. don’t be late.’

‘The producers want to make a technical meeting before the recording starts. Manager Unnie will pick you up @ 10 a.m.’

And that was how Taeyeon spent her time, by burying herself with schedules. She didn’t let her free time drowned her in a breakdown state.

Not again, not anymore…

Her member were always coming to her apartment almost every day. They brought her favorite films, or movies, or drawing books, or novels, literally everything. Every day Yoona and Sooyoung took her to the most delicious restaurant around South Korea. Sunny brought her to the Han River. They talked, laughed, cried together until she could forget her misery, even though just for a while. Jessica who didn’t have a good relationship with SM at that time, always spared her time to check on her condition every day. She called her, sent her a KTalk or Line, or voice mailed her. Taeyeon is still her sister after all.

Taeyeon didn’t want to too drown in the misery. She knew she have a responsibility as an artist and SNSD’s leader. SMEnt became very protective to every schedule she has. When Taeyeon go to a show, beforehand they will read all the script, questions, and the topics. When it came to a live event, SMEnt will hire more bodyguards, even gave Taeyeon’s her own personal bodyguards.

Lucky for her, being SM’s golden treasure.

But unlucky for her, they seemed deliberately forgetting about Jiyong.

It’s been two months yet the storm is not completely disappear. It was worsening.

When SMEnt didn’t give a damn about it, YGEnt denied Jiyong’s scandal right away. It was YG appa himself who explaining to the media. Watched from her apartment, she remembered how he looks tired yet scary at that time. People who watched carefully could see sadness flashed in his eyes. It broke Taeyeon’s heart, also a thousand people who saw the conference.

That night after the conference, YG appa called Taeyeon. He asked her and her family’s condition. He also said sorry about the mess and promised Taeyeon that as her family, he will do everything to put the thing back to the track.

He promised that he won’t let Taeyeon face the storm alone.

And this caused her to break down in an ugly sob.

How come her knight in shining armor couldn’t do the same thing?

How can he leaves her in this ugly situation alone?

Not long after the media havoc because of Jiyong’s scandal, Dispatch caught her with Baekhyun in one car, releasing news that there’s something more than senior-junior relationship between them.

They even said that they’re kissing.

For God’s sake she’s not a woman with no heart, who easily give her love to another man right after the heart break.

And she still love him.

With all her heart.

With all her life.

She didn’t want to back down.

She really did.

She knew that this thing will come to an end.

Somehow… her happy ending won’t really disappear.

Somehow.

But every time she slept, that thin hope became thinner in the next morning.

Because that haunted day still greeted her in her sleep.

His expression, his words.

His eyes.

At the next morning the pain rushed back, took every hope she built every day.

Leaving nothing but tears.

*

Are my tears
Visible to you?
I long for you the whole day
even the kiss
that made my heart beat faster
Seems to be memory now

Kim Tae