Laying on the bench at the school rooftop, Micha could hear the school bell ringing signalling that first period had ended. She put up her hands and started to analyze it as if it was something new as she let the sun ray slip through her fingers effortlessly. Today would be the first time she would be attending school as her own self- as the real Kwon Micha. She had her hair let down and threw away those big dorky glasses she had worn as an undercover.

                News about her being the leader of the ‘Geomyasaeng’ clan spread like fire the moment the truth left on the night when she tried to save Daesung. She did not regret even a single bit in telling the truth about her real identity in order to save Daesung but one thing she regretted was coming to school on that day. Micha could barely pass the school gate this morning and when she did cross it, her feet brought her straight to the rooftop.

                She was scared.

                Not about being hit by her classmates but being hated.

                All those efforts of gaining her classmates’ trust would crumble down and she would be left alone again. The thought had caused her to shake her head as she sighed and rubbed her face in frustration. Even those random thugs on the streets questioned and mocked her father’s decision of choosing her as the leader, how would her classmates react? After mindlessly staring at her hand for a long time, Micha proceeded on craning her head to the right and her eyes met with the bottle of orange juice by her side which was given by Jiyong this morning before she went off to school.

                Breakfast with the superior members was awfully quiet this morning. Even though they knew about what had occurred last night where Micha had killed of 6 leaders from different clans, none of them mentioned a word about it. “They must feel betrayed since I’ve done this behind their backs,” Micha groaned and knocked her forehead a few times. She sat up from her laying position and whispered, “Why do I feel empty? I took away 6 lives yesterday and I feel nothing?”

                Too many things were meshed up in her mind as it was exceeding her human abilities, add a little more thoughts and she would turn mad- that would certainly not be a pretty picture for anyone to witness.

 

                On the other hand, Micha’s classmates were doing their usual routine in school which was doing nothing. “Do you think Micha came back to Korea already?” Youngjae turned towards Daehyun who was munching on some bun. “Because I heard from some people that they claim they saw Micha here and she was beating some dude on the streets.”

                “If she’s back, I’m sure she’ll tell us,” Daehyun replied back with his mouth full.

                “Well, she didn’t tell us when she went away,” Zelo sulkily stated.

                Himchan patted Zelo’s back and said, “Maknae, don’t say that. Micha went away for a reason and she’s trying her best to save this clan. We’re her family now, so, we have to be understanding.”

                The youngest member of the BAP group just hung his head low knowing that Himchan’s words were true. However, he still could not believe the fact that Micha just left without saying anything. She could leave him again in the future and that new information made it uncomfortable for him to live with. “She’ll come home soon,” Jongup nodded, “I believe her.”

                “Who said I didn’t believe her?” Zelo suddenly glared at Jongup.

                Zelo’s sudden change of tone had caught the rest of the classmates’ attention as their attentions were now fixed on Jongup and Zelo.

                “Junhong-ahh,” Jongup tried to calm Zelo but it was already too late as Zelo was already standing up, ready to land a punch on Jongup’s face. “I didn’t mean it that way alright? I know you believe her, I’m just saying that I believe her too.”

                “It sounded nothing like that to me,” Zelo growled.

                “Choi Junhong!” Himchan barked, “Don’t be too reckless. Sit down now!” He tried to make the situation better but it did not work. Jongup and Zelo were already in a heated fight. “Yah!” Himchan roared again but it was no use as he wished that Yongguk would be here at a time like this.

                Daehyun tried to go in between the two fighting males along with Youngjae but the two of them got pushed harshly. “Stop it guys,” the other classmates finally stood up from their seats and started to help out. “We don’t fight among our own!” L.Joe tried to say but Zelo continued on with the fight pretending as if he could not hear.

 

                With Micha’s lunchbox in hand, Gikwang walked in through the school hall leisurely while checking the time on his watch. Earlier, he had went to the school office to ask about the direction to Micha’s class and according to the clerk’s information, he was nearing his destination. “Is it here?” he wondered alone and stuck his head into each door he could see. He remembered Micha telling him that her class was noisiest in school and due to that, he decided to enter the noisiest classroom he could find but all of the students seemed to be noisy to Gikwang. “Damn, this is going to be hard,” Gikwang shook his head and sighed.

                It was quite challenging walking about the place and searching for the right class but once he reached the second floor of the building, he could hear a very loud commotion in a particular class down the hall. “Maybe that’s the one? It sure is damn loud compared to the others,” Gikwang sighed again, holding onto the lunchbox tightly and walked straight to the class.

 

                “What’s wrong with you?” Jongup staggered backwards, blood dripping at the side of lips and eyes glaring sharply at Zelo who had just kicked him in the guts.

                Zelo smirked and limped forwards as he hissed, “Nothing’s wrong with me.”

                As Zelo was about to punch Jongup on the face again, a familiar voice was heard stopping their activity right away. The voice said, “Yo, I’m here to find Kwon Micha. Any of you kids now where her class is?”

                At the mention of Kwon Micha, all eyes set on the male standing at the door of the class. “Hyung-nim?” Youngjae said in a surprise tone. “What are you doing here with those lunchbox?” he asked more.

                The other classmates just backed away as they could clearly see Gikwang’s huge tattoo on his neck and arms, showing that he was one ‘Geomyasaeng’ clan members. It was best for them to not make him or else the situation could turn bloody in the end. “Are you two fighting?” Gikwang stared at Zelo and Jongup who just stared at their shoes not knowing what or how to reply.

                “Hyung-nim, what are you doing here?” Himchan reiterated Youngjae’s previous question.

                Gikwang’s face brightened as if he just remembered the purpose of him coming there and stated, “Have you seen Micha? I’ve been around the school for quite some time but I can’ t find her anywhere.”

                “Micha?” Daehyun gasped, “She’s back?”

                “Yes,” Gikwang nodded, “and she’s supposed to be in school right now.”

                “Really?” Himchan’s eyes went big.

                Gikwang seemed irritated by the reactions of the BAP members and turned around to find the nearest student he could find. “Hey you, small head,” he pointed at Yoseob, “Do you know where Micha would be if she’s not in class?” Gikwang casually asked as Yoseob blenched in surprise when he was called. “Stop staring at me and answer, kid,” Gikwang said.

                “She would probably be at the rooftop if she’s not here,” Daehyun answered instead of the scared-looking Yoseob.

                Satisfied, Gikwang nodded and flashed one of his bright smiles then stated, “Alright, thanks. I think I know where to go now,” he looked at Jongup and Zelo while saying, “Sorry to interrupt the two of you, now I know where to go, so, continue on with the fight. Peace out!” All of the students in that classroom had their eyes glued on Gikwang, unable to utter a word as they were too surprised by his sudden visit but in the midst of the confusion, Himchan was able to snap out of his trance and raced towards Gikwang.

                “Hyung-nim,” he called out for Gikwang.

                At the sound of someone calling him, Gikwang stopped walking and turned around to find Himchan running over to him. “Hey, Himchan, what’s up dude?” he patted Himchan’s back.

                “Micha is really here?” Himchan asked seriously.

                “Yes, she’s here, I saw her with my own eyes. She was having breakfast this morning,” Gikwang assured the male before him.

                “Can we-” Himchan was about to say but Gikwang interjected.

                He said, “For now, can you please stop your friends from searching for her? I’m going to find her and talk to her. She will go to class eventually by today but you have to give her some time. Micha is going through a rough time as we speak, so, giving her a little bit of space would be the least we can do.”

                Himchan hung his head low and muttered, “I’ll pass it on to others.”

               

                At the same time, Micha was still on the rooftop, watching the familiar scenery before her. This place had acted as a solace for her throughout her time in this school and a lot of her fond memories had occurred here. It was the place where Yongguk had brought her to treat her wounds and also the place where they had their first kiss. All the memories came pouring in and she could imagine Daehyun munching on some bun at the corner of the place while disturbing Youngjae.

                She smiled to alone as she could picture Jongup dancing in the middle of the place along with her and Zelo as Himchan would decide to just barge in and ruin the whole routine. Then, sitting quietly at the bench would be her lover, Yongguk, resting peacefully but sometimes he would randomly crack stupid jokes making all of them laugh. “I miss them,” Micha whispered, hoping the breeze would bring those meaningful words to the person she was longing for.

                “Miss me?” a voice was heard.

                Micha stood up abruptly from the bench she was sitting on and stared at Gikwang who was currently standing right in front of her. “Oppa?” her face looked perplex as Gikwang came to her and gave a tight hug. “What are you doing here?” she asked the latter.

                “Because you left this,” Gikwang dangled Micha’s lunchbox in the air.

                An awkward silence took over the atmosphere as the two of them were only leaning against the railing. “So, you decide to start talking to me now?” Micha muttered quietly after the two of them had decided to stay mute for a few minutes. She craned her neck to look at Gikwang who had done a similar action as hers. Their gaze locked. It was as if his whole emotion was pooled in those eyes as guilt started slinking through Micha’s skin. “I’m sorry, I don’t have the right to say that,” she said, looking away from Gikwang unable to witness his upset stare any longer.

                “No, no, it’s fine,” Gikwang shook his head and flashed a faint smile.

                Micha snickered. “Fine? You’re fine with everything? How is that even possible oppa?”

                Gikwang sighed deeply and put his hands on both of Micha’s shoulder. “To tell you the truth, none of us felt good at all. We felt as if we were useless. We’re the superior members of this clan but you ran off alone and decided to kill those men. Yes, we felt betrayed. But it’s only because we thought that you had no trust in us. Do you understand what I’m trying to say here, Micha?”

                The young female leader had her shoulders slumped and closed her eyes for a minute break before reopening them again to say, “I’m sorry.”

                “You don’t have to say sorry, Micha,” Gikwang’s expression softened, “But you have to trust us.”

                “It’s just that I lost too many people already,” Micha stated, “I wanted to step up and act like a leader for once.”

                “You’ve been doing fine all this time, Micha,” Gikwang reassured her.

                Micha shook her head, “I lost Daesung. No one can ever replace him. No one.”

                “It was not your fault. The decision Daesung had made during that time should be respected and honoured, Micha. That was the first thing we had been taught when were training. Do you remember it?” he tried to console Micha.

                Micha nodded, “The clan’s safety is our first priority.”

                “Good girl,” Gikwang tousled Micha’s hair. “Now, go down and stop those two clowns from punching each other,” he said.

                Confused, Micha stared at Gikwang while saying, “Who’s fighting?”

                “Jongup and Zelo, they’re about to rip each other’s throat,” he said casually.

                “What?” Micha’s eyes bulged out, “Why?”

                “I forgot to ask why,” Gikwang shrugged and smiled, “Go, now. I’ll see you at home,” he waved.

               

                With all her might, Micha ran to her class in full speed, ignoring all the snickers and curses the other students were giving her when she bumped into them. “Move bastards!” she screamed to the male students who were loitering around in front of her. Now that she no longer had to put her good girl image, Micha was free to speak her mind like she had always wanted to do all this time. She ran past a few corners, ran down flights of stairs and finally reached at the floor that she wanted to.

                “Junhong! Jongup oppa!” she burst into the classroom to only see her classmates seated at their tables, gawking at Micha.

                “Micha!” Daehyun jumped out of his seat.

                “What happened?” Micha was in bewilderment looking at the condition of Jongup and Zelo.

                “Obviously they fought,” L.Joe answered.

                “What were you thinking?” Micha stared at Zelo and Jongup.

                “He started it,” Jongup mumbled and took a glance of Zelo who was staring in space.

                “He pissed me off,” Zelo argued in a low tone.

                “Are you kidding?” Micha’s voice suddenly turned deadly, arousing the attentions of her classmates who were already gawking at the rare sight of the real Kwon Micha. “You punched him because you got pissed?” she looked at Zelo, “Yah! Choi Junhong, look at me! We don’t stab each other in our clan. We look out for each other. Do you understand me?” she said in a leader-like voice, resonating majestically through the quiet classroom.

                Zelo who was previously staring at his shoes looked up and stared right into Micha’s eyes.

                His gaze pierced through Micha as she all of a sudden felt guilty. Micha knew what he was going to say and her tensed shoulder slumped as she whispred, “Junhong-ahh, I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”

                “Leaving without a word. Is that one of our principle too?” Zelo mumbled.

                Himchan was about to scold Zelo for saying such things was stopped when Micha raised her hand in the air as a signal. “Can we go out for a minute? I want to talk with you alone,” Micha tried to say it in the softest and the most soothing tone she could manage. Without a single word, Zelo rose from his seat and quietly made his way out of the class.

                The sad-looking Zelo made Micha’s heart ache more as she watched the sight of his slumped shoulders from the back. “Hey,” Himchan caught Micha’s wrist, “Welcome back baby boss,” he said with a warm smile. She looked around the class and saw that her classmates had smiles on their faces as she could only reply it back with a faint smile.

                “He’s just sad, he doesn’t hate you,” Youngjae voice out as Micha nodded before following along Zelo’s steps to have a talk with him.

 

                At the end of the hall, at a small corner where the place seemed quieter than at other parts of the school, Micha could see Zelo sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the wall and his long legs stretched ahead of him. “Can I sit here?” Micha purposely asked to break the awkward atmosphere while gesturing the vacant spot beside him. When Zelo did not say anything, Micha just sat on the floor beside him and hugged her legs to her chest, waiting for Zelo to say something.

                One minutes passed by as Micha rested her chin on her knees.

                5 Minutes passed by but Zelo’s mouth did not even twitch.

                15 minutes passed by and Micha still waited.

                It was a long and torturous silence for Micha but she endured and waited. She was positive that Zelo needed the time to actually think of what he was going to say to her. “I don’t hate you at all,” his voice croaked.

                “I know,” Micha nodded silently.

                “I’m just mad,” he said.

                “I’m sorry,” Micha replied sadly, her hand clutching onto her skirt nervously.

                “My father had left me when I was 9 years old because my mother did not want to give him money,” Zelo’s lips trembled, “He was so furious at the time but he didn’t hit my mother or even me, he just walked away.” He shook his head a little as if he was in denial and continued, “The fact that he just left was hurtful. He didn’t hit mom, he didn’t hit me, he just left.”

                Zelo took in a shaky breathe and looked at Micha, “I was left to wonder because he left without telling us why. If he hit my mother or he even hit me, I would probably just forget about him and have no feelings for him anymore but he didn’t say anything and I have no reasons to hate him. In fact, I think I still love him deep down.  I’m left to wonder until now and there was a time when I thought that I was the one to put to blame for his sudden departure.”

                “I won’t leave you,” Micha squeezed Zelo’s shoulder, “I promise you that you would be the first person to know if I were to go anywhere. I won’t leave you to wonder anymore. Choi Junhong, I can promise you that,” she said confidently.

                “Don’t be like my father,” Zelo whispered.

                “I won’t be like him,” Micha patted Zelo’s back, “I promise you.”

                Swiftly, Zelo turned around and hugged Micha-tight. A small smile appeared across Micha’s face as she stated, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything. I wanted all of you to be safe.” Zelo tightened his arms around Micha while she continued, “And also, thank you for sharing your story about your father, it must’ve been hard.”

                “Yeah, he doesn’t tell it to anyone except for the ones he really trusts,” Jongup’s voice boomed out of nowhere as Micha and Zelo broke their long embrace.

                Slowly, Micha looked up and saw Daehyun along with the rest of the members looking down at her with a soft smile on their faces. “Guys…” she was about to say but they stopped her telling her that she does not have to explain about her absence. “Thank you,” she whispered and watched Daehyun took a sit beside her while Himchan, Jongup and Youngjae sat across of them.

                “Can I ask you something?” Jongup suddenly said.

                “What?” Micha perked up her ears in interest.

                With an expression as if he did not know how to put the structure of his words correctly, Jongup hesitantly asked, “Why is it that you never asked about us? You know, like what our parents are like? What they do? How our pasts are?”

                Leaving her male friends to wonder for a while, Micha enveloped herself with her thoughts, trying to put the words together to make it sound as simple and as short as possible. Finally, she took a deep breath and replied, “I don’t need to know your backgrounds or your parents to be friends with you. I believed that I gain your trust and once you are ready, you will eventually tell the truth.”

                The moment she let those words out, one by one, the members of BAP submit themselves into their own world. Thinking back about their lives, how they had survived through it and how much pain they had to endure all this time. They were only students and the burden they had carried may not be seen as big in an adult’s eyes but each individual have their own complications in life. Why must it be compared?

                “I ran away from home,” Himchan voiced out in the midst of the still atmosphere, attracting his friends’ attention. He his dried lips and said more, “It was because I was actually adopted.”

                “You were adopted?”Micha’s eyes bugged out.

                A small sigh escaped from the latter’s mouth, “Yeah, and they treated me like there. I couldn’t actually call them mom and dad. They took me in so that I could do chores for them. Wash the dishes, do the laundries, clean the house and others. Their children would always mock at me telling me that I was just their servant and had no rights to question their attitude towards me.”

                Himchan’s voice suddenly died down and he smiled briefly, “I met Yongguk when I ran away from home. We clique right away. It was just the two of us against the sick world. We did a lot of part time jobs and finally this man named Park Kyunghee helped us out. He was the boss of a restaurant we were working. He gave us money and told us to go to school.”

                When Himchan was done with his story, Micha reached out for his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. At that time, Youngjae picked up the pace and naturally told his story. “Believe it or not, I’m actually a rich kid,” he said with a smile but his voice was bitter. “My family owns a company and my father is a genius in high-tech computers stuff....” he trailed.

                “Then what happened?” Micha asked when Youngjae suddenly stopped.

                “He wants me to take over the company in the future but I want to be a journalist,” Youngjae made a statement which shocked his friends.

                “You? Journalist?” Zelo had his mouth gaped widely.

                “I’m into writing and never told anyone about this,”  Youngjae’s cheek started to turn red as he put his focus onto his intertwined fingers, “After telling my dream to my dad, he got really furious and kicked me out of the house saying that I was an ungrateful and useless son.”

                “Where are you living now?” Micha had her forehead creased.

                “My older sister,” Youngjae answered, “She was not well-liked in the family since she’s a female and all. I’m grateful to her and owe her a lot,” he stated.

                Nodding, Micha understood how Youngjae felt. She was grateful for having her two older brothers by her side no matter what she does and having that special bond between siblings was the only thing that had kept her from losing her sanity. “I know how you feel,” Micha said and smiled.

                “I do too,” Daehyun nodded, “Since I only have my sister and little brother with me.” It was Daehyun’s turn to speak up so he said, “Actually, they are not my real siblings. My father remarried and my mother had also remarried twice.” He played around with his shoelace and rested his back against the wall, “The house was too packed with kids. My mom had 12 and my dad had 5 and I was fed up with not having any privacy, so, I moved out and went to stay with my aunt along with my two siblings who got along well with me.”

                “What about your parents?” Micha quietly voiced out her question, “Didn’t they say anything?”

                Daehyun just shrugged and looked at Micha, “They didn’t care. Dad was too busy to support the family and mom told me to decide on my own since I’m all grown up.”

                For the hundredth time that day, the silence atmosphere returned. Jongup tapped his index finger on his knee. Everyone had done their part and it was his turn. How could he tell them their past which Yongguk only had knowledge of? “I’m not sure how to say it,” Jongup croaked, eyes looking at each of his friends’ faces. “I did something terrible and I don’t how to explain,” he whispered, tears threatening to fall.

                “Dude, just take your time,” Himchan patted Jongup’s back.

                Jongup shook his head and cradled his legs to his chest as he rocked back and forth. “I killed someone,” he said.

                Shocked filled in the air as Zelo said, “Hyung.”

                “I know,” Jongup nodded, “My mom was sick, so, my dad remarried.”

                “You killed your dad?” Youngjae said in a low tone but Jongup shook his head.

                “No,” Jongup replied, “I killed my stepmother. It wasn’t because I wanted to, I had to.”

                “What do you mean by that?” Daehyun’s perplexed expression mirrored the rest of his friends.

                “She was going to kill my mom,” Jongup confessed, “I was 10 years old at that time. I saw her putting poison in my mom’s medicine and I reacted without thinking. I didn’t want to kill her so I went to her and pushed her but she kept coming back to me trying to hit me. I just reached whatever was there and stabbed her on the chest with a pen. The police closed the case saying that it was self-defence but deep down I don’t think it was self-defence at all. I wanted to kill her but I couldn’t admit it.”

                A strange ache started to roam around Micha’s hard as Jongup’s story seemed familiar to her. She hung her head low and breathed out heavily, “Taking away someone’s life is easy,” she started to say, “But the burden we carry afterwards is just unbearable.” Micha rubbed the back of her neck and looked around.

                “What?” Himchan followed Micha by looking around.

                “Yongguk oppa…” her words trailed as it ends in a whisper.

                “He’s at home, the doctor said he needs a week to recover since he didn’t get a proper rest,” Himchan explained.

                “Oh,” Micha’s mouth shaped into an ‘O’ and she went quiet.

                “What do you mean by ‘oh’?” Daehyun put his hands on his hip, “You should be meeting him right now.”

                Butterflies swarmed into Micha’s stomach as she clutched on her top for a while. With a shaky tone she said, “I don’t think today would be a good day. He needs his rest and I can always meet him to-” she was giving excuses but Zelo grabbed her hand and forced her to stand up.

                “Sorry boss,” Zelo said, “But, we have to drag you to meet Yongguk.”

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Author's note:

Hi! So, this is the first update since a very long time. I hope you guys would enjoy this chapter cuz I think I'm losing my touch in wiriting. Well, not that I'm an awesome writer or anything... Comments are loved and appreciated! The next chapter I would make sure Micha and Yongguk meets!