“Baby,” I whispered in her ear. I wrapped my arms around her stomach, rubbing her softly. It’s getting bigger. She’s 4 months now.

“Hmm?”

“What should we name her?”

She giggled. “How do you know it’s a girl?”

“What should we name him?”

“I don’t know,” she turned to face me, “considering you like Western things, would you like an American name?” I laughed – I made it clear to Korea that I like Western featured women.

I laid there staring at her. I slowly brushed her face, her hair, her shoulder, her arm, down to her waist. I love touching her. She closed her eyes. I should let her sleep, considering we had a long day, but I couldn’t get enough of her. I never can have enough of her.

How can someone become more beautiful each day?

Living with her is different. I haven’t – in fact, I never lived with a girl before. In our bathroom, I found so many products I’ve never seen before. Our ‘study’ is a closet now. We both have so many clothes; we can’t even imagine what’s going to happen when our baby comes.

“Baby,” her eyes opened, “can you get me short ribs?”

--

I remember the first two weeks I was here. I woke up almost everyday running into the bathroom. Everything in my stomach was unleashed into the porcelain bowl. Within seconds, I’d always feel his hands rubbing my back. He’d always whisper comforting words into my ear between each gag. I never understood it. Every time I was done, his face would always look worried.

I brought a few maternity clothes from home, but I haven’t really gone out.

Our second night here, YG paid us a visit. He was overly excited, but he was still Young-bae’s boss. He explained to us the dangers of going out in public when my bump is more visible.

“I’m glad you decided to come here,” he dug into his briefcase, “this is for you.” He handed me an envelope and gestured me to open it.

“A gift card?” I was a bit confused. “You already gave us a place to stay. I.. Thank you so much.” I got up and gave him a hug.

“I wanted to talk to you guys about your relationship,” he smiled. I held onto Young-bae’s hand. What does he want to say? I glanced over at him. “Mag, Koreais old-fashioned. Considering that you guys just met, having a baby out of marriage is a taboo here.” I nodded in agreement. My mom told me her friends couldn’t comprehend getting pregnant out of marriage. It’s like we need a paper to allow him to have with me. “Young-bae, I don’t know how you want to address this issue in public, but I suggest playing it safe. When her bump becomes visible, be very cautious when you go out.” He eyed Young-bae – trying to make the point clear.

“I know,” he gripped my hand tighter, “I’m just tired of having to be careful with everything I do. What I do with my personal life shouldn’t effect my profession.” He took a deep breath and looked at me. “Are you okay with everything?”

I nodded. “I don’t want to jeopardize your career more than I already have.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t-“

“Young-bae,” YG interrupted him. We both turned to face him. “Mag. I’m glad you understand how serious this situation can get. But your safety,” he eyed Young-bae, “is his main concern as well as mine. I don’t want you to develop ill feelings towards us when I say you should play it safe. Just be cautious when you go out in public. When you go alone, it’s okay since you’re considered a ‘commoner’. If you two decide to go public together, Young-bae, please be discreet.”

Today, however, I’m going on set with Big Bang. I’m pretending to be Kim Boram’s assistant – he’s Young-bae’s manager. When we do go in public, Boram comes with us. So, it looks like he and I are together versus Young-bae.

I remember going to the mall with him. Boram slightly placed his hand on my shoulder and from the corner of my eye, Young-bae was staring attentively. Ever since then, Boram hasn’t laid a finger on me.

“Baby,” I turned to face the hallway. “Mag!”

I finally reached the door to our room. I sat on the bed, rubbing my stomach. He popped his head out of our bathroom. “How you doing?”

I started laughing. We’ve been watching Friends the past few weeks, and he’s fascinated by Joey Tribbiani. “Are you almost ready?”

He came out of the bathroom wearing his white tee and black jeans. He walked over to me, and cupped my face. “I love you,” he kissed me. “Let’s go.”