Pace your breathing, Young-bae. I wonder if you can see it yet. I rubbed my palms on my pants – it’s sweating so much. I puffed. Any minute now – I’ll see her. Should I sit down? There’s not many people at the airport today. It makes sense. She’s arriving around a little after midnight.

I know I’ve been relatively calm about becoming a dad. I know I’ve handle things pretty well. I don’t think I fully comprehended that I’ll be a father soon. At 23, I’ll be a dad. I’ll have someone that I created – someone that is my flesh and blood. Watching my hyungs with their kids, I’ve always been envious of their relationships. Ever since Sean found out he is going to be a dad – twice – you see the glow in his face whenever we enters the room. He walks tall and confident with his wife in his arms. You can’t deny the love they have for each other and for their kids. And that makes me hopeful.

It’s 12:45 already. She should be exiting the plane. My phone started vibrating.

Hyung, where are you? – Seungri

“Huh?” That’s weird. I told him and everyone else that I’m at the airport.

I’m picking up Mag at the airport.

I got up and walked to the status screen for all flights. I scrolled down and saw the flight she was on – it already landed.

Just making sure, hyung. YG said he tried calling you, but you didn’t answer.

That’s right. I avoided his call when I was driving here. I dialed YG’s number.

“Young-bae,” his voice chirper than usual, “are you there already?”

“Yes, hyung. I’m already here. She already landed, but I believe she is in customs.”

“I just wanted to let you know that everything is ready for you when you arrive back to your apartment.”

“Thank you so much, hyung.” It still amazes me how excited he is about this. I remember telling him right after I came back from America. At first, his was silent. After 20 minutes of not speaking, he congratulated me.

“A little soon.”  That was all he said to me. I started explaining that it wouldn’t be a good environment for us to raise a child in the dorm anymore. As soon as I said that, he told me he’ll accommodate everything for us – as a gift.

“Having children is a blessing,” he whispered, “you understand that.” I nodded. “My wife and I,” his voice was a little louder, “have been trying for years.” I never knew that. He looked at me. “I know you’ll be a great dad.”

I finally understood why he reacted the way he did. I took a deep breath and decided to walk to the gate she would be exiting. 

As soon as I got there, I saw people exiting. "Shoot," I whispered. What if she already headed to the baggage claim. I waited searching through the crowd of people that was exiting.. A few minutes later, less people started coming out of the room. Til finally, no one else was coming. My eyes franticly searched the room hoping that I didn't arrive late. What if she went to baggage claim without me? "ISHH!" I let out softly. I darted to the baggage claim. I felt a thought in the back of my head getting louder and louder as I got closer to it.

What if she didn't come? 

No, I spoke to her before she boarded. I shook that thought away. When I finally entered the area, I looked all over again. I walked closer to where she would get her luggages, and carefully examined everyone. She wasn't there. 

Where is she?! 

I felt my heart race. NO, she promised. I digged through my pockets for my phone. No new notifications. I threw my hands and yelled. "GAHH!!!!!!!!!!"

I didn't care that people noticed me - it's not like they can tell who I was anyways.

I rushed back to the gate. I noticed there was some people seated at the bench playing with their phone. I walked to the nearby cafe - there was people, but not her. 

I felt my heart drop. I felt stupid. "Where is she?" I rubbed my forehead. She probably went to the bathroom or something. I glanced at a clock - it's 1:30am. I sighed - leaning my head back. I rested my hands by my side. I closed my eyes.

Maybe she missed the flight. Maybe.. she got delayed at the airport. Maybe her visa got denied. 

or, maybe she doesn't want to be with me? What if I pushed her too much? What if she got cold feet? What if she couldn't leave her life there? What was I thinking? She has everything there - her comfort is there.

I opened my eyes in defeat and turned around.

"Hi," my love called out startled. She froze in her place with her hand reaching out. I felt relieved seeing her, but angry that she got me worried like that. "What's wro.."

"Where were you?!" I yelled grabbing her into my arms. "I thought you didn't come," I whispered in her ear. I kissed ontop of her head and smothered her in my arms. "You scared me."

She started laughing. "You're so cute." She pushed herself off of me and looked me right in my eyes. "You're still as handsome as I last saw you," she smiled. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "I missed you." She pecked my lips. "I got held back in customs. I brought a little more than I was allowed too." She stretched her smile.

I took a deep breath staring at her. "At least you're here."

We held hands walking towards her luggage. When she said she brought more than she was allowed too, she wasn't kidding. 8 luggages - clothes and personal belongings. Good thing I brought my manager - he was waiting in the car. I called him to help us. On our drive back to the dorm, she rested in my arms. I haven't felt a warm body near mine in so long. I haven't felt my heart flutter this fast since I last saw her. I took a deep breath.

I haven't had this growing pain in my lower region in a while, either.

She placed her hand on my thigh, rubbing it slowly. I hugged her tighter. She started grazing it with her finger. The pain started pounding harder. She made me into a horn dog. I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked softly. I looked down at her again and she's tracing invisible hearts on my thigh. 

I leaned in a whispered in her ear. "You know.." and I nibbled her ear.

She slapped my stomach. "Already?" She giggled hugging me.

The car stopped and we arrived at the dorm. She looked shocked. "Oh no, is everyone going to be okay with all my things in the house?"

I helped her out and she still is asking me thousands of questions about staying at my room. I still haven't told her that YG got us an apartment in the same building. He doesn't want her to be alone at all since there's at least one person at home. 

"You trust me?" I asked interrupting her sea of questions.

"I do, but I mean.." 

"Shh." I laughed as we headed to the elevator. Our manager has to catch up with us since we all can't fit in one elevator because of her luggage. She stood there out puffing air in and out of . The elevator stopped at the 14th floor and I saw her reaction.

"Whe-"

"Shh." I said again and pulled her hand to follow me. We walked until I arrived at room 2. The 14th floor is split into two penthouses. Cool, huh? She finally understood and kept quiet, but I felt her nails digging into my hand. She's curious and nervous. I finally pulled the keys out and unlocked the door.

"Oh my God," she let out underneath her breath. That's what I said when I first laid eyes on our new home. Our home. The first thing she noticed was the window, or balcony. It was huge. There was a very strudy fence surrounding. The floor of our apartment was a dark brown. We had a white rug in the middle of the living room with black furniture. A big screen TV that was nailed against the wall. To the right, was the kitchen and dining room. It was white. All of our rooms were to the left. The master bedroom, our childs room, and finally our 'study.' We'll figure out exactly what we want to do with it later. 

"This is where we are staying?" she asked. Her hands were against the window. "Can I see the view?" She turned to me with pleading eyes. I nodded and walked towards the balcony. She leaned over the fence and took in the air as she overlooked the city. "This is beautiful." She whispered to me when I wrapped my arms around her. I held her in front of me and rested my head on her shoulder. 

We stood there, enjoying the moment. I heard my manager bring in the rest of our stuff. I looked at him and nodded goodbye since he has no reason to be here anymore. I planted a kiss on her neck and ran my hand over her stomach. She gasped and placed her hands on top of mine. "I got a little bigger." 

I shook my head and whispered in her ear, "you're still beautiful."