Xiumin blinks slowly as he eyes Lu Han and Sooyun.  He can’t put his finger on it, but…  Something is different between them.  Even though they’re not next to each other, he can feel the aura between them is more intimate.  Well, definitely not in a romantic form of intimate, but something else that he’s not sure of.

            “Hey, Sehun.” Sooyun calls out.

            “Hm?” he responds, from Xiumin’s side.

            “Would you date a noona that’s 4 years older than you?” she asks, curious.

            Ah…  She’s wondering about that younger guy she met at the restaurant, he thought as smiles.  That kid does look like our Sehunnie.

            “4 years?” answers Sehun, surprised.  He, then, smiles.  “Noona, of course!”

            The answer makes Sooyun smile as she blushes.  Chen lets out a loud laugh as he turns to her and they start a side conversation, as she pulls out her phone.  Xiumin glances over at Lu Han, knowing well about his crush on her.  He is looking down at his phone, with a sad face.  Xiumin feels bad for the guy and wonders if he has came to terms with the feelings he has towards Sooyun.  Lu Han has been denying his crush on her this whole time.  Does he finally realize it now that he has these obvious and intense feelings for her? 

            If all the guys see this then does Sooyun know or is she just as oblivious as well?, thought Xiumin as he looks back at her.  If she knows about Lu Han’s feelings then wouldn’t she want to be with him too?  But, she seems to be looking past him and at that other guy instead…  She seems to be trying to move on from her past...  I can tell.  Apart of her wants to move on, but another part still wants to hang onto Shin.  I can see her hesitating with her love life.  Maybe being with Lu Han will only really keep her chained to her past…  Or, maybe she really doesn’t know at all about how he feels at all.

            Xiumin turns to Lu Han and smiles at him, but he is oblivious as he listens to his music.  He taps him on the shoulder and pulls the ear bud out of his ear.  “Why don’t we go get some iced coffee?” he asks.

            “Iced coffee?” asks Lu Han, blinking.  “Sure.”

            “It’ll be my treat.” laughs Xiumin.

            “Yay!” smiles Lu Han.

            As they walk pass Sooyun and Chen, the pair hears her letting out a frustrating groan.  “Jongdae, do you think he likes me?” she asks, rather, seriously.  “He was sending me messages all day yesterday, which meant that he stayed up all night.”

            “I think he does.” laughs Chen.  “Especially if he stayed up all night just to-”

            Xiumin glances at them as Sooyun grabs Chen’s arm and shakes him before he could finish his sentence.  She starts to say something when Xiumin lets out a laugh and then looks at Lu Han.  The deer’s face is clouded with what looks like a mix of anger and sadness as he pouts.  Once they were out of ear shot and was waiting in line at Starbucks, Xiumin turned to him.

            “Did something happen between you and Sooyun?” he asks, curious about their night out together since Lu Han hasn’t talked about it at all.  He Lu Han didn’t come back to the hotel that night, so the guys weren’t sure what happened.  Even their manager wasn’t able to get anything out of him.

            “No, nothing happened.” Lu Han replied, as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

            “Really?” asked Xiumin, surprised. 

            “Well, we had fun but that was pretty much it.” states Lu Han, as he looks up into Xiumin’s eyes.

            For the first time ever, he couldn’t read his friend’s eyes.  The window to his heart is bare, empty, and, rather, dead.  It is strange…  Lu Han is usually upbeat, happy, and always likes to tease Xiumin, but he seems so different today.

            Where did my Lu Han go?, thought Xiumin as he becomes worried.

            He can’t deny it that they weren’t awkward the morning after they slept together.  It was his fault after all…  He was the one that made it seem like he just wanted her physically instead of emotionally.  She didn’t say anything to him until they were close to the hotel.  ‘U-Um…  You were good last night.’  Lu Han blushes at the comment, as the sound of her moans are still loud in his ears.  ‘Uh…  Thanks.’  ‘Are you planning on telling the guys?’  ‘No…  Not really.  Why?’  ‘I-I think it’s probably better like that.  I don’t want to think that I’m easy or something.’   He can still feel his heart crack a little when she said that.  She obviously assumed that all he wanted from her was , which wasn’t true.  He wanted to make love to her, not just .  He’s cray over her and yet she doesn’t see it.  ‘Sooyun, you’re not easy.’  That was all he could say.

            As much as he wanted to say ‘I like you,’ he knew that it wasn’t fitting for that situation.  Something as delicate as a confession like that isn’t meant after you sleep with the person, especially when the other person is already thinking that you’re some -addicted-beast.  It should be said when it’s during something romantic, like the first snow fall or something. 

            Maybe I’m being too complicated, thought Lu Han. 

            His feelings will be the death of him if he doesn’t tell her, but he wants to wait for her.  He knows that she won’t ready to accept his feelings for her and it may take years because she’s still holding onto Shin.  Even if he tells her how he feels, she will push him away because he is the mirror image of her past and she wants to move on.

            He takes in a deep breath as he sips his orange juice.  Lay is up with him as well, making some breakfast.  Then, there’s Chen.  He’s annotating the newspaper like it was a textbook or something with a colored pen and his handy electronic translator next to him.  Apparently, that was how Sooyun learned how to write both tradiational and simplified Chinese years ago.  Meanwhile the others were still asleep.

            “Jongdae, stop studying your Chinese and eat.” commands Lay in a motherly fashion, as he places a bowl of rice in front of the younger guy. 

            He does the same for Lu Han and heads back into the kitchen.  He made some scrambled eggs and some ramen and neither Chen nor Lu Han are picky eaters so they didn’t mind.  All of them quickly dig in, hungry.  They were half way through when Sooyun’s bedroom door opened.

            “Are you hungry?” Lu Han hears her asks.  He simply assumes that she is on the phone since everyone is aware that she is exclusively dating the yonger boy she met at the restaurant.  They have been together for a month now.

            “No, it’s OK.” answers a husky, deep voice.  Lu Han quicky drops his chopsticks and turns to Lay, with a questioning face.  “I should probably go anways.”

            Sooyun lets out a soft laugh.  “It’s OK.” she says.  “You should stay and have some breakfast.”

            He lets out a laugh.  “It’s OK.  After last night…  I-I-” he starts.  Then, he suddenly stops for a brief moment and laughs again.  “I should get going.”

            “Hmm.” says Sooyun, not wanting him to leave.  “OK.”

            The couple starts to walk down the hall and the guys pretend to be preoccupied with something.  Chen quickly grabs the newspaper and starts to read it like how he did earlier.  Lay pulls out his phone and pretends to be playing a game, but Lu Han doesn’t bother to do anything.  He just sits there and waits for them since they obviously don’t know that they’re up.

            “O-Oh, good morning.” says the boy that Sooyun met at the restaurant.  He looks like Sehun with rounder eyes and a brighter smile like the pictures Sooyun had posted on her Weibo.  “I’m Chenyun.”

            “I’m Chen.” he smiles, extending his hand for a handshake.

            “It’s really nice to meet you!” says the younger guy, with enthusiasim.

            “I’m Lay!” he says, happily.  “It’s nice to finally meet you again.”

            “It’s nice to meet you again as well.” laughs Chenyun, irritating Lu Han.

            “I’m Lu Han.” he mutters, with a small smile.  “Why don’t you have some breakfast with us before you leave?” 

            Chenyun laughs.  “It’s OK.” he says.  “I have to leave.”

            “Why don’t you have dinner with us next time?” suggests Lay, overly excited.

            Lu Han wants to send him a death glare, but controls his face and forces a smile instead.  The younger boy quickly bids them goodbye before Sooyun sends him to the door after agreeing to Lay’s offer.  Lu Han pretends to pour himself another glass of orange juice, trying to eavesdrop on their short conversation.

            “I’ll see you soon, OK?” asks Chenyu, with a laugh.

            “OK.” responds Sooyun.

            Lu Han looks from the corner of his eyes just as the Chenyu places a kiss on her lips.  He can feel his heart drop as he heads back to the table.  After closing the door, Sooyun quickly walks into the dinning room with a huge smile on her face as Chen and Lay starts to eat again.  She quickly pouts when her gaze lands on Lu Han.

            “Why are you looking at me like that, Lu Han?” she asks.

            He closes his eyes and opens it again, slowly.  “It’s nothing.” he mutters. 

            Within seconds, he can feel her presence at his side.  He can feel his face burn as his forehead starts to bead sweat.  There has been so much whenever they’re together that Lu Han has stopped talking or interacting with her all together. 

            She quickly takes his unused utensils and starts to eat a piece of egg.  “You want some?” she asks, as she tries to feed him some.  He quickly pushes her hand away, making her scoff.  “OK, fine.”  She eats it herself and then he feels her suddenly lean over.  She places a kiss on the top of his head.  “Aigoo, you’re like a baby.”

            Lu Han looks up at her, angry.  Hell, no, he says in silence.  I’m no baby.  I’m a 28 year old man that slept with you!

            She smiles down at him.  “You’re so cute.” she says, pinching both his cheeks making the guys snicker.   Lu Han continues to be mad and it is now her turn to pout.  “Don’t be so angry.”

            With that, she let go of his face and left the guys.  Lu Han jumps to his feet, following her in fury.  “Lu Han!” yells out Lay, as he grabs his forearm.

            The deer whips his friend’s hand off in a second.  He follows Sooyun into the room, closes the bedroom door with a bang behind him, and locks it.  Within seconds, someone pounds on the door as he stares down at Sooyun.

            “Lu Han!  Open the door!” yells Chen.

            She stares up at him.  “Why are you mad at me?” she asks, only infuriating him more.

            Lu Han tries to take in a deep breath, but that didn’t calm him down at all.  “Did you sleep with him?” he yells, unintentionally.

            “Lu Han!!  Stop that!!” says Lay, through the door.

            Sooyun stares at him with a face.  “No!” she replies.  “Gosh, Lu Han!  Why would you ever think that?!!”

            “B-Because…” starts Lu Han, weakly.  “You and I..”

            Now, there were more voices at the door.  “Damn it, Lu Han!  If you don’t open this door, I’m going to have to break it down to drag you out!” yells Kris, pounding on the door.  Lu Han rolls his eyes at the leader’s statement as he steps closer to Sooyun.

            “Just because he slept over does not mean that he and I slept together!  He was drunk and since the club was close to our place, I just decided to let him sleep here.  We did nothing, Lu Han.  I did nothing with him!” she says, as she frowns at him.  Then, she says in a whisper, “You’re the only other man I’ve slept with besides Shin.”

            Lu Han nods his head, slowly.  “I won’t be the only one after another month or so.” he comments, softly.  The guys at the door were now quiet since the pair weren’t yelling at each other anymore, which he is grateful for.  Before she could respond, he grabs her face and pulls her into a wet, rough kiss.  She reacts right away to the touch of his lips, making him smile.  “I like you.” he breathes onto her lips.  Then, he pulls away from her face.  “I like you so much and for so long that I honestly think that I’m in love with you, Sung Sooyun.”

            “Uh…  Sooyun?” asks Xiumin at the door, reminding the pair that they weren’t alone.  “Are you OK?”

            “I’m fine.” she responds, as she looks up at him.  “Lu Han’s tired and is being very childish, so we’ll probably nap for a while.  Don’t worry.”

            “Uh…  OK…” says Chen, reluctantly.

            “Stupid Lu Han.” says Tao, loudly.

            “Geesh, what a kid!  And, he calls himself the manliest!” comments Kris. 

            The baby faced man rolls his eyes as he shakes his head.  He quickly leans back into and catches her lips with his.  Sooyun pushes him away before he could kiss her and holds his face.  “Lu Han…  I can’t.” she says, with watery eyes.  “I just can’t.”

            He can feel his lips tremble, as he places his hands on her shoulders.  “Why don’t you love me?” he asks, as his voice cracked.  “I’m so in love with you so why can’t you just love me?”

            “Chenyun-” starts Sooyun.

            “That’s not a good enough reason, Sooyun.” counters Lu Han, as he feels his tears trickling down his cheeks.  His hand quickly comes up to wipe it before she could.  “I’m living in this nightmare that’s repeating over and over again and here you are, ignoring to save me from my suffering.  I want to wake up, Sooyun, and finally live in peace with us being together.”  Soohyun doesn’t say anything as he lets out a small whimper.  “I can be anything and everything that you could ever want.”

            “I’m sorry, Lu Han.” says Sooyun, looking everywhere but him.  Then, she looks straight into his soul.  “I see you as a friend…”

            “Then why did you let me sleep with you?” he asks, confused.  “Why did you respond to the kiss I gave to you earlier?  If you truly don’t feel anything for me, then I would say that you’re one hell of a show.” 

            He already regrets letting those words slip out of his mouth, but he wants her to hurt just as much as he is right now.  He wants her heart to hurt with each pulse, but most of all…  He wants her to regret her rejection.  It doesn’t make any sense why she would respond to all his physical advances, but not his emotional ones.  Is she holding back because she doesn’t want to be involved with him emotionally?  She is making his head spin and he doesn’t like it, but he can’t let go.

            “Even though you push me away, I know that I will still continue to feel this way.” Lu Han says.  “And, I think it’s because I had never loved anyone like I have loved you before.”

            He doesn’t wait for Sooyun to say anything and quickly leaves the room, without looking at her face.  His heart is aching, wanting only her, but he ignores it.  He quickly walks into his room and lies on his bed.  Whether Lay is there or not, his tears don’t care.  They start to trickle down the moment he enters the room.

            “I thought that you and Sooyun were-” starts Lay.  Lu Han’s soft cry interrupts him, making him stop as a song of cries chime into their room.  “I’m sorry, buddy.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

            OK….  This was an extremely hard chapter for me to write…  There were a lot of things that I had to consider and this was the outcome.

            Sorry about putting you all through this love triangle pain/frustration.  :(

LOVE,

loveFORyunho