Lu Han blinks slowly as he watches Kris quickly turn his body towards the group as the manager signaled them to get into the van.  They were going to go back to the hotel since it was late already.  The “Going All Out!” team had already cleared most of everything by the time the cameras stopped rolling and had asked all the fans/onlookers to leave.  The baby face eyes his leader closely as he quickly slipped his hands into the pockets of his grey sweats.  Then, he looks past Kris to the tall and beautiful model that the leader was talking to.  Ai Shengzhen.  She is walking away from them, towards her agency’s van, with her long silky black hair swaying.

                Lu Han smirks.  That woman makes it so obvious that she is only interested in Kris since she only talks to him.  If she wants to be more casual about hitting on him, she should at least make effort to talk to all of the EXO M members as well…  But, obviously, she wants to make her agenda clear to everyone that is around.

                “Did you have fun?” asked Lu Han, as he slips to Kris’s side.

                The leader smiles softly.  “Of course.” he replies, as he pulls his hands out of his pockets.  “You did exceptionally well in the pool today.  Didn’t know that you could run like that…”

                Lu Han chuckles and shrugs.  “Neither did I.  Just got lucky, I guess.” he says.  “I’m pretty sure you have some good news to tell us brothers tonight, right?”

                Kris glances down at his questioning gaze and smirks.  “If you suppose…” he shrugs.

                “Why am I not surprised that Kris got a girl’s number already?” asks Lay, as he covers himself with the blanket.  He quickly reaches up for the lamp by his bedside and turned it off, submerging the room in complete darkness.

                Their leader had told them the news that Ai Shengzhen had given him her number.  Even though he wanted to decline, he didn’t want to seem rude and tell her that there and then.  He just accepted it because he didn’t know what to do at the time.  Kris seems to be half heartedly excited about it though...  Yes, Ai Shengzhen is a beautiful and, rather, voluptuous young woman but the whole group (including Kris) knows that their minds right now are not on girls…  They’d rather focus on their career as singers and performers than to have girlfriends any day.

                Lu Han laughs.  “Because there was so much between the two.  The producers totally knew what they were doing.”

                “To be honest, I feel like Kris really did want to take her number…  That’s why he didn’t decline her offer.” says Lay, after a short silence.

                “Same here.” agrees Lu Han.  “If he really wanted to, he could have just said, ‘Sorry, but I’m not allowed to date.’”

                 “Kris is too nice.  He might even get himself in some sort of scandal if she falls hard for him.  He should have just said no.” continues Lay.

                “Well, what would you do if some pretty girl like that was to approach you, Yixing?” asks Lu Han, curious.  The younger guy isn’t going to let the leader slide at all.

                A silence falls over their dark room.  They should be sleeping, but here they are…  Talking again, as always. 

                “You and everyone feel the same regarding our debut…  It’s not time to get a girlfriend yet.  So, I would probably decline…  No matter how cute she is.” states Lay.  “When the time is right and someone approaches me, then I’ll say ‘Sure!’  But, for now, no.”

                Lu Han smiles to the darkness.  “I don’t even know how the Sunbaes are doing it…  Like Beast’s Junhyun and Kara’s Hara…  It’s so hard.  You barely have time for yourself with all the practicing, promoting, and traveling.” he wonders, out loud.  “If you can’t even focus on yourself properly, how do you even have a girlfriend?”

                He could hear Lay shrug his shoulders.  “I don’t know…  We wouldn’t know until we’re in that situation ourselves.” he replies.  “Unfortunately, our careers and girlfriends don’t mesh well together…  And, that’s just the truth.  I can’t even imagine how our fans would react if one of us was caught with a secret girlfriend…  They’ll probably leave the fandom or worse…  Commit suicide, considering all the love and dedication that they had given us for now and many more years to come.”

                “I know…” agrees Lu Han.  As much as he would love to give his all to their fans, he cannot.  There is only one him…  And, as much as they love him and he loves them back, he can only do so much for them.  If he could clone himself and distribute all those clones to fans that have him as their bias, then he would…  But, he can’t and that saddens him.

                The life of a fangirl is not easy.  She gives so much, but receives so little love in return.  How does she keep it up, even when there is no light at the end of the tunnel?  Is her love for their idol so great that they would throw away most of her life away for him?  The time and energy that is spent on supporting, caring, and loving him could be spent on a real relationship with a sweet guy…

                Lu Han shakes his head.  I may never know of all the love that I receive an idol…, he thinks.  And, that’s sad to know that I will never know or meet of those people that silently love EXO and I.  Fangirls…  How do you do it with so much passion and vigor?  And, how will I ever repay all of your love and support for now and the future ahead of us?  Thanking you is simply not enough…  Being your boyfriends would be the best option, but there’s only one of me on the surface of this earth…  There’s too many of you…  Will your love and support burn out for the lack of response because I can only remember and interact with limited amounts of fans? Will you turn your back away when you realize that this love you are giving me is hopeless and, rather, one-sided because I will never grow to love you back with the same passion and vigor?  Will you still continue to be by my side to the end even reality is as sharp as a knife?

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

                Hi, everyone!!!  Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!  ^^

                I know I shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions that that big ed, 6 ft, and beautiful model (Ai Shengzhen) and Kris are in relationship…  Or, that they are contacting each other.  But, we may never know as fans.  So, expect the worse of the worse.

                I wonder if idols really do think of the life that a fangirl has: giving so much love and receiving so little in return, then to live with the fact that we will never be able to be with our bias no matter how much we care for them.  Even if they do think of us and our lives, there isn’t much that can be done.  There’s only one of them after all…  T.T

LOVE,

loveFORyunho