Lu Han stares at the meal that was placed in front of him.  He couldn’t look up at the girl that was passing it out.  He could tell it was her from the white hemp hanbok that she is wearing.  It has been rumored that she had lost her voice completely after the accident the week prior. 

            Lu Han and the rest of EXO are at Shin’s funereal.   It will be three days long and the first day already passed by.  EXO couldn’t cancel all of their schedules right away because of the late notice.  Only EXO M was let off the hook.  EXO K still had to fulfill their schedules accordingly and thus their brother group waited for all of them to attend the funeral together.

            The last few days had been a blur to Lu Han.  All he remembers from watching the news nonstop is that the gunner was just a random guy that wanted to go on a shooting spree.  The man had no legit reason to open fire on anyone.  According to his cyworld, he wanted to have some fun and hope to get some by going to the mall.  And, it was just a coincidence that EXO M had a fansigning that day.

            15 EXO fans were hurt, but were not in critical conditions.  The group paid visits to all of them with gifts.  The only fatality was Moon Shin with two close range gunshots.  The first gunshot was received when he ran up the stage to protect his fiancée in fancams.  That first blow punctured his ribs and the right lung collapsed, making it hard for him to breath.  The second shot went through the side of his neck, getting his internal jugular vein and causing major blood loss.  He practically bled to death.

            Moon Shin’s fans didn’t know how to react.  They didn’t know who to blame for taking away their precious model away besides the, now-dead, gunner.  They couldn’t blame the fiancée because he written a Korean tweet: saying “Just take me with you!  I don’t care where!  I don’t want to be home without you no matter how much you say no~  :P”  Unsure of what he meant, now they know.  Sung Sooyun must have told him to stay because she also tweeted: “Boys…  They can be so stubborn!  Just listen and be good!’  Those tweets were posted 2 hours before the shooting had happened…  The funeral is adorned with so many flowers that Lu Han could hardly breathe properly because of the pollen.  It feels like something was going through his nostril or getting caught in his throat, making him have a slight cough.

            “Lu Han, eat.” commands Kris.

            The boy blinks, slowly,  instead and turns to look in a certain direction to Sung Sooyun.  She looks lost…  Almost as if she’s not aware of where she is anymore.  Her eyes look distant and faraway in another realm.  From afar, Lu Han could tell that her eyes start to water.  She quickly tries to blink them away as she frowns.  A woman sitting next to her pats her hand and she finally picks up a spoon.  Her hand is shaking so much that it clatters against the bowl as she tries to get some rice.  Without warning, she suddenly drops her spoon with a little clang.  Huge tears drops onto the rice as her lips trembles.  She quickly excuses herself, stands up, and leaves the table.  The woman that was sitting next to her quickly follows behind her.  And, an urge to want to follow her washes over him as he was about to stand-

            “Lu Han.” calls out Kris, again.  The baby-face turns to face his leader.

            “He’s so young…” whispered a soft female voice, as Lu Han tunes in the random conversation.

            “It’s unfortunate that they never got married before he died.  He would’ve been so happy.” said another. 

            “Now is not the time to do this.” said Kris, softly.  Lu Han opens his mouth to say something when he gets interrupted.  “You have no authority to talk to her.  You are no one to her.”

            That statement makes Lu Han’s blood boil.  He is something to Sooyun, even if he didn’t tell her the truth.  He is Lulu to her.  Knowing that it is not the place to be yelling at Kris, Lu Han keeps his mouth shut.  He doesn’t want his sunbaes to have a bad image of him.  Big Bang is there along with many others.  Moon Shin’s American costars were there too and were mourning his sudden loss.  Lu Han glances over at the GD as he touches his food.  Out of all of the Big Bang members, he is crying the most.  GD’s eyes are rimmed red as he eats little by little.  According to whispers, Moon Shin and he were amazing friends, as close as brothers.

            “E-Excuse me.” said a voice.

            Before Lu Han could turn around, he heard a spoon dropped.  He quickly glanced at Tao, who is looking up with a gaping mouth.  Lu Han finally did so and isn’t surprised to see GD standing there.  He flashes the group a small smile and bows.  They quickly return his gesture.  He, finally and eagerly, turns to look at Lu Han.

            “Y-You’re Lu Han, right?” he asked, softly.  Unable to answer, the boy nods his head.  “M-May I please talk to you?”

            Big Bang has already finished their new mini album promotions and is resting.  He was on a radio show when he heard of the news that Moon Shin had died.  He almost couldn’t finish the show properly.  He expressed his shock over the whole ordeal along with his love and admiration for Moon Shin.  People knew that they were friends, but no one knew that they were that close.

            GD leads Lu Han out into a private hallway, away from the snapping paparazzi.  The younger boy got a hunch that the older one had planned to speak to him all along.  After stopping towards the exit, GD turns to face Lu Han.  GD searches the younger boy’s face for something and his lips starts to tremble.

            “I-I’m sorry…  You just look so much like him.” says GD, with wet eyes.  “Is it OK if I hug you and say something things to you as if you were really Shin?”

            “If it brings you comfort and ease your suffering, then do as you must.” replies Lu Han, with a small smile.

            “Thank you.” says GD, giving the boy a 90 degree bow.

            GD pulls Lu Han into a warm embrace.  He lets out a soft and weak cry, as he continues to hold onto the younger boy. 

            “I’m sorry, Shin.” said GD, at Lu Han’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a good hyung to you.  I was a horrible one.  You deserved better.  You deserved someone that could visit you when you moved into your new house with your fiancée.  I should have been there no matter how tired I was.  You do not know how grateful I am to have met you.  You’re a special kid, you know?  You bring so much laughter, life, and light into the lives that you’ve touched…  I wish you gave me a proper chance to say good bye to you before you left for good…  I just said, ‘I’ll see you later.’  I guess I really will see you later, at the end of my life.  I promise to take good care of your Sung Sooyun.  It’ll be hard, but I will do it as the hyung that I am supposed to be.”

            Sooyun’s hand tremors as she tries to eat.  Cereal with milk for breakfast again.  She glances at the clock on the kitchen wall: 12 PM.  She had a long magazine shoot last night and didn’t get home until 3 AM…  She has been taking a lot of jobs lately, almost not getting a lot of time to be at home. 

            The house feels uncomfortably empty.

            Although Shin had paid for it with the money he brought from the future rather than his income.  (He explained that he didn’t want to tap into his savings yet because he knows that money from the future will always be there.)  And, yes, the house is both of theirs…  But, Sooyun couldn’t help it but feel like this house was his.  His things, his clothes, and everything of his are still around.  Even his scent still lingers here and there.

            About 100 days after Shin’s funeral, she felt like his presence was still around.  That was when his unique scent was the strongest, but it slowly started to fade away.  In those times when she thought he was there, she would forget and call out his name.  Then silence becomes her response and reality sets in.   

            Sooyun lost conscious at some point after Shin got shot.  No one knows if it happened before or after Shin had died.  Shin’s death, in the eyes of Sooyun’s, had become a repressed memory.  Sooyun doesn’t remember...  She couldn’t, no matter how much she wanted to.  What were his last words to her?  Maybe 'I love you,' but Sooyun isn't sure.  He always had something good to say.  Did she give him a final kiss?  She hoped she did.  All she could really do was hope, in her pain, guilt, and agony for forgetting, that Shin took his last breath knowing that she loved and will miss him with her whole heart and soul.

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

            Hope you all enjoyed!!  T_T  Yes, Shin really did died….

            This will move kind fast now?  I don’t know…  I’m still not sure on what to do.

LOVE,

loveFORyunho