Donghae

I'm pissed off.

No...

I'm furious...

Still not the right word...

Maybe...I'm raging.

I can't hear myself think...

And the reason lies next to me, wrapped into the blanket.

Finally he's asleep. Moonlight falls through the window and draws a narrow and bright stripe on his face. His lips are slightly open. When he breaths out I can feel the warm respiration on my hand.

He's perfect.

Inside and outside.

How could someone do this do him?

Do this to him because of me...

This message...

He really got a lot of them?

And didn't tell me...

I didn't notice.

Someone calling him like that, someone hurting him right in front of my eyes. I feel bad. Worse than bad. I feel unworthy to be by his side.

I asked him if he had a clue about the one who did this. He just said it's a fan.

I call it a lunatic.

I lay down next to him. He's sleeping sideways, his face turns in my direction.

"Baby?" I whisper.

His lids flutter and seconds later he slowly opens his eyes.

"Is something the matter?" he asks drowsily.

"I can't sleep. Because of you..."

My lips find their way to his shoulder. I kiss it softly while I approach him. I huddle my forehead against his chest.

"I'm so sorry, baby..."

"Are you crying?"

I didn't notice the tears I shed in silence. Just two... maybe three that roll down and wet his chest.

"Hae. I told you it's alright."

"It's not."

My hand searches his. When I find it I intertwine our fingers.

"I told you nothing will harm you anymore. I protect you, alright? So don't leave me cause I don't know what'll happen to me if you do."

He puts a finger under my chin and forces me to look into his eyes. "Leaving you?"

"The couple always separates in dramas after something like this happens. But I won't let you."

My beloved smile appears on his face. Instead of answering he kisses me fondly and puts his head back at the pillow, just a few centimetres away from mine.

"You know... even when I felt so bad, I never thought about this at all. How could I go away? You still owe me a strawberry milk. Don't try to make excuses. I know you drank it. Buy my one."

He's the one who supports me now. Didn't I want to be strong for him?

Well...

It doesn't matter.

I will be.

It's certain.

"You're making me falling for you over and over again. You know that?" I say.

"That's my intention."

"I'll be more clingy from now on."

"You can't get anymore clingy."

"Ya, Lee Hyukjae. You love it. Lately you're the one who seeks my attention. In the end you planned all this--"

As soon as I see the sudden anxiety in his face I feel bad for what I said. "Baby... no. I didn't mean it. I hadn't thought before I talked..."

I cover his face with kisses.

"Just sleep." he answers, sighing satisfied as my lips touch his face.

"Can't I just lie here and watch you?"

"You want to watch me sleeping and drooling?"

"I even love you when you're drooling."

He grasps the blanket and tucks me in. "You can't imagine how much you really give to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...I guess it means I love you."

My mind becomes blank as I stare at him. He ignores it and just lies down, closes his eye and doesn't let go off my hand.

"You--"

"Just sleep."

"Alright."

I put my head next to his, facing him, listening to my heart which slowly starts to beat again.

I'm loved... I'm loved by the one I love more than anything else.

He got me.

From tip to toe.

Today.

Tomorrow.

Every day.

I squeeze his hand and finally I'm able to close my eyes.

***

"Isn't it a little too late to call Donghae?"

"Don't think so. They've always got late schedules. Just try it. He won't be mad even if we wake him up. You know him."

"You really want to see him. You're so excited."

"Yeah... it has been a long time. Too long..."