Siwon

"Hyuuuuuukie!?"

"Hm?"

"Just one more...please..." Donghae snuggles up tighter to Huykjaes side.. The latter one plays with his boyfriends hair.He's absent-minded, his eyes glued to the TV screen.

I like evenings like this, together with only Donghae, Hyukjae and Shindong. Sometimes our schedules coincide with each other and we're able to spend a few hours together in private.

Today it's because of SM's new plans.

We just got to know a few days ago about the collaboration with 2ne1 from YG. I'm not too sure what to think about it. Still need to get further information.

I mean, first of all, the two biggest companies in the industry joining sides is something... well, it's not that normal.

And usually we do this kind of stuff with SNSD. Hopefully there won't be a ruckus about this.

It's not like I don't want to work with 2ne1. They're great women, all of them talented and beautiful.

And that's why we're alone at the dorm at this hour.

Today were our first interviews together. We also had to do single ones and since we have finished early we were able to leave soon.

Again, I catch myself looking at Hae and Hyukkie. At first it was... not normal for me to see two men in a relationship like this and God knows how hard the first days after their confession were for me.

But, when only a single look  in the eyes of the other sparkles with love? What to do? In the end I'm glad they told us and I can't imagine how they were even able to keep their distance from each other for so long.

"Baby... please."

"Why do you keep asking him to kiss you? Just do it." I say with a deep sigh when Hae starts to pout and buries his face in Hyukjaes pullover.

How's Shindong able to sit right next to them? I confiscated the part of the sofa which is the closest to the TV, far away from the hearts and sparkles and little pink unicorns. He just sits right beside Donghae, a bowl filled with crisps next to him. "Siwon is right, Hae. I can't watch the movie if you keep talking."

"But I don't want to appear pushy." His voice sounds muffled.

I roll my eyes. "And how would you describe all of this?"

His terrified face appears again. "I'm pushy?   Baby? You'll break up with me?"

"Of course. I'll go back to Siwon."

Donghaes glare of death hits me totally unprepared. He grumbles something and again, scoots closer to his boyfriend. "Just dare to."

"And what could you do against it?"

Hyukjae is in quarrel-mode tonight...like, for real? I'm fascinated.

"What I could do?"

Donghae leans forward and kisses half of his cheek, half of his lips. "I could stop doing that."

"You win."

Now it's Hyukjae who leans closer to the man next to him. He even takes Donghaes arm and puts it around his shoulders. "And now be quiet. Okay? I want to watch this movie."

An hour later he's soundly asleep. His head rests on Donghaes lap. In the end the movie wasn't that interesting to him.

Donghae embraces Hyukjaes head with his arms. He's so careful. I can see he tries not too hold his head too tight.

He's so far away, not paying attention to the last minutes of the movie. He touches Hyukjaes ear, his cheek, moves his finger down to his lips. He wants to kiss them but I can see he sits inconveniently. Doing that move would wake his sleeping boyfriend up. So he just stays like this, his hand finding Hyukjae's. He interlaces their fingers, brings them to his mouth and kisses Hyukkies fingers, softly, one after another.

"You keep looking at him."

"What?" I ask surprised as he levels a remark at me.

"You keep looking at him. I can see. Forget about it, I don't share."

I try to suppress my laughter. The funniest thing is that he's deadly serious.

"Aside from that, Donghae.", Shindong takes the last chip and puts the bowl onto the table. "Didn't you tell us two of your friends will pay a visit soon?"

"Chi Soo and Hae Ri?"

He shrugs. "Sorry, I forgot the names."

"You met them once. They came to one of our concerts two years ago."

I remember a tall, dark-haired guy and a smaller girl with shoulder-lenght brown hair. "It's sad you can't see them more often."

"Kind of."

Hyukjae moves slightly in his sleep. Hae puts a hand on his cheek and the movements stop.

"Do they know...", Shindong looks at the sleeping man. "...about it?"

"Yes. I told them over the phone. I was surprised . They weren't concerned about him being a man. They just wanted to know if I was sure about him being a good guy. Hae Ri tends to be a little overprotective." He smiles as if he remembers something.

"They met him before?" I say.

" They did. But just a few minutes. I don't think they were able to exchange a lot of words. And that time he wasn't my boyfriend so it's different now anyway."

"What would you have done if they were against it?" I ask out of the blue.

He looks at me, thinks for a minute before he turns his gaze back to Hyukjae. " He shouldn't hear this." He bends forward a little. "Baby?"

No answer. Hyukjae is still far away in dreamland.

"You know, I thought about this before I told them. They're my friends, of course. Even so there was the possibility that they wouldn't understand. But there was only one possible answer if they had given me the choice whether I choose him or them."

He smiles lovingly at Hyukjae. And that second I can't suppress the feeling of jealousy inside me.To receive such a gaze... there're many people who would do crazy things just to get something like this.But the feelings vanishes as fast as it arouse in me. I'm happy for Donghae. And I'm happy for Hyukjae, with all of my might.

"I can never tell him I would choose him over my childhood friends. He's so uneasy when it comes to things like this. He would feel bad like it was his fault my friends loose me. It's not like I don't love them. But... how to describe it? He's my heart and he's my breath... and I can't live without both of them."

Donghae's the only one who's able to talk like this without scaring people away. His words are so honest, full of love for the man sleeping on his lap.

He brushes a strand of hair out of Hyukjaes face and smiles at us after that. "Sorry. It's just that I could talk about him all the time."

"We don't mind." Shindong answers.

"I'm still not too sure when they'll visit us. Chi Soo told me they'll stay in Seoul for two weeks. If I remember right they'll arrive tomorrow. They'll give me a call in time."

He doesn't want to wake Hyukjae up but it's late and I'm able to convince him that it's time for both of them to get to bed.

Hyukkie isn't fully awake when Hae takes his hand and guides him to his room.

I watch them until their figures vanish in the darkness of the hall.

When I think about this moment later I feel bad that I didn't pay more attention to the bad feeling I all of sudden felt inside me.