Donghae

I need to get into this room. No matter what. . I need to get inside. Hyukkie can't cry... he can't cry if I'm not with him.

How could Heechul close the door? I couldn't say anything before he locked me out.

Shindong appears all of sudden. I hit the door but he grasps my hand and pulls me away , talking calmly to me. " Let them be, Hae."

 "What's going on inside?"

I look over my shoulder. The door is still closed. I hoped it would open, now that he knows I'm outside.

Nothing happens.

" What's wrong? Hyukkie is crying."

"Hyung..." Ryeowook appears.

Shindong pushes me on a chair at the diner table. . "Heechul and Leeteuk are with him. Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?! Imagine Nari's inside, crying, and you can't get in!"

" That's...something different."

"It's the same! Let me go! I need to get inside that room!"

I feel the anxiety rising in my body. I know that I might... or most problably overreact. But everything about him is a sole overreaction. I can't help it...I want him wanting to smile, all day... together with me...

"Oh god... what if he breaks up with me?"

"Donghae..."

"Or worse: He's incurable sick.", my eyes widen horrified. " Maybe he's just months left!"

"You're overreacting."

"How am I able to live without him?"

"Hyung..."

I miss Ryeowooks soft voice while pacing up and down without stopping for a second. "I can't remember if anything happened. I didn't do anything wrong. You think he doesn't want me anymore? Or... it has something to do with his collapse. Maybe he's much worse sick than we thought..."

"What's that ruckus about?"

Siwon enters the room. It seems like he took a shower. His hair is still wet.  

" Hyukkie will die..."

"WHAT?!"

" No, he won't, hyung. It's just Donghae..."

"...overreacting, right, Wookie?"

The eternal maknae nods fastly.

Siwon stays confused in the middle of the room, only wearing his boxers "I'm sorry but I really don't get it. Why are you here, Shindong?"

"I followed Leeteuk and Heechul."

"And they're here because...?"

"That's the thing!", I cry out. " They locked themselves and Hyukkie inside your room and won't let me in!"

Siwon looks at us still not getting the whole situtation. "I just met Hyukjae."

I spin around. ,,What?!"

"Well", he points to the corridor " I wanted him to talk to me cause his tear stained eyes were too obvious. But he insisted on getting outside for a moment. I thought he had a fight with you, Donghae, but I guess I was wro-- Hae?"

I'm out of the room before one of the others could even think about Siwons words. I run to the entrance and arrive just when Huykkie grabs the doorknob.

"YA!"

My boyfriend pauses. He doesn't turn around, just looks at the wood of the door.

"Don't you dare going now!"

"I just need to get some fresh air... why are you that drained?"

" Are you serious?!""

Two steps and I'm at the door which I shut with a bang. ,, What has gotten into you?! I'm worried sick and you try to steal yourself away?!"

"Hae...please... I'm grown-up. You can't tell me what I can do or not."

"You surely don't know what I'm able to!"

I clench the doorknow until it hurts. Hyukjae doesn't look at me... he's got beautiful eyes, and they're the most beautiful when they look at me not at the ground.

"Well, would you mind telling me what's wrong?"

"Just five minutes, okay? I'll be back in an instant."

"Not even ten seconds."

"Hae..."

"You're so not going to get what you want."

"Let me out...", His voice breaks and the tears he tried to hold back so hard flow again. "Please. Just let me out...I beg you... I don't want you to see me like that..."

My rage fumes away in a second.

Rage...?

I can't remember being mad at him like that in the past. So mad that I even screamed at him.But the thought of him being out there now, all alone...

,,I'm sorry, baby... I didn't mean to... it's just..."

I don't know if he wants me to touch him. I just stay next to him, our bodies seperated by a few centimeters.

"God, baby. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. I was so worried..."

The fear overwhelmes me.

Did I scare him? Is that the reason he cries?

He's so fragile...

"Please. No matter what it is. Tell me. I can take it. I will take it for you. But please, I beg you. Never run away like this, just don't do it. I don't think I'd be able to bear not having you by my side when I know you're crying." I cup his cheeks, feel the wetness with my handpalms, the pierce in my chest.

"Baby... what's wrong..."

"Hae..."

He sinks against my shoulder, his hands cling to my shirt. He hides his face in the fabric of my top. "I'm...so-sorry... just...I-i was so..ov-oberwh-e-lemed by... Heechul and... I'm sorry... i-in fact...it's-s-s not tha-t-t-t bad..."

"It's bad... really bad."

Finally I feel its safe to touch him. I embrace him as tight as I can and swear to myself not to let him go for the rest of the day.

"Shhh...it's alright, baby. I'm here. Nothing's going to harm you anymore. I promise."

Minutes lapse away and his sobs become softer. Eventually he manages to take a deep breath without faltering.His hands still cling to my shirt but he's able to raise his head and look into my eyes. " It's alright now."

"Really?"

He nods and grimaces. " I need to take sunglasses to the interview tomorrow."

"Already able to tell jokes?"

His features get overshadowed.  "I was so suprised about Heechul and Leeteuk talking to me. I just needed to get out of that room after Heechul send you away. Don't think I'm a crybaby..."

"You're a crybaby."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for...", I want to hold back but can't help it and hug him even tighter. "I don't think I can take it anymore if you don't tell me what happened. Talk to me."

A kiss on his cheek, one on the other.

" You're that troubled by it?"

"You have to ask?"

"Hm..."

I kiss his lips. "Tell me."

"Yes. Tell us.", Heechul arrives followed by Leeteuk. " I didn't think it'd be that bad. I'm really starting to worry now."

Hyukjae huddles tighter to my side.

Has he even been that clingy before?

Well, he has.

But definitely not out of the same circumstances.

I take his hand.

"I'll talk to him first."

I can see Heechul rolling his eyes. But instead of answering back he just gives me his mobile. "Before you two leave, read this message. I guess you want us to stay after that."