Donghae

Actually I wanted to spend the whole day with Hyukjae.

But I planned this for him so it's my duty to go shopping for the dinner we want to cook later. I want him to relax today. He's well again after the cold that knocked him out but I still keep an eye on him even if he doesn't want me to.

He's afraid I won't be able to get the right ingredients. I might be not as skilled as Wookie in in the kitchen but cooking Pasta isn't that hard. He insisted on writing a shopping list for me but I ... forgot... it at home. Who am I? I just need to find the noodles and tomatoes.

I drive with open windows through Seouls streets and feel so good that I can't stop myself from singing along to Park Boms "You and I" which is played in the radio.

A group of school girls recognize me at the traffic lights. I wave to them but can drive away before they get the chance to encircle my car.

I choose an afield supermarket in one of the calm neighbourhoods away from downtown.

Like this it's enough to just wear sunglasses. Normally there are times when I don't mind if someone recognizes me, but today it would be a little disturbing. I want to get back to my baby as fast as  I can. I guess the few ahjummas which I could meet inside won't know who I am.

Though, of course, I'm the son-in-law they want for their daughters.

Not that I would ever betray my mother-in-law.

I take out my mobile and write a message.

i'm at the supermarket baby. don't worry. even if they want me for their daughters i'll stay with you ... because...guess... RIGHT!! because I love you, and only you *chu*  <333

His answer doesn't keep me waiting for too long.

I don't know what you're talking about but hurry up. I'm hungry.

u just want me to hurry up because your hungry? not because you miss me?

I miss you so come back soon

no kiss? :'(

I send you a thousand kisses. Now get the food

I smirk when I put my phone away. The sweetest thing ever.

"Young man?"

There's just Hyukkie in my head and so I didn't even realize I already walk through the market.

A small, old woman stands in front of me.

And if I say small, I mean really small.

She smiles at me , a net of wrinkles covers her face.

"Would you be so kind to get me the can over there? It's too far. I can't reach it."

"Of course."

I take the can and hand it over to her. She puts it into her shopping back.

"Thanks."

Her voice sounds scratchy.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses? Isn't it a shame to cover such a handsome face."

"Well..."

She nods, still smiling. "I'm sorry. I'm too curious again. But you know, even if you cover your eyes I can still see the beam of joy on your face. It was the first thing I noticed when I saw you. Really engaging."

"A beam of joy?"

She wants to bend down for another can but I'm faster and hand it over to her.

"You're really courteous, young man. You know, many people overlook an old woman like me."

She's one of those ahjummas that beam out that grandmotherly feeling. You just want her to pat your head.

"Love?"

"Excuse me...?"

"I guess it's love that makes you like this, young man. Or am I wrong?"

"I'm in love." I answer almost proudly and the next moment I could hit myself for my quick tongue. To talk like this to a stranger... Many people tell me to be a little less open... but I have to contain myself all day even if I want to shout out loud how much I love my baby.

"That person is really lucky."

Again, a bright smile appears on my face. I look to the ground scratching the ground with the tip of my shoe.

"I'm the lucky one."

Hyukkies face appears in my mind.

I really didn't want to go without him.

I'm surprised again how much I'm already stuck in this. Just the thought of not seeing him for twenty minutes makes me nervous. Who knows what could happen...

"I found the most precious person out there. That one that takes your breath away, that chokes you and you don't even care about it cause you can't feel anything else but love... and you can't think about anything else. Just... how to protect you? How to love you? How to survive when you feel like dying of happiness... I'm sorry. I talk nonsense."

I didn't even know I spoke the words out loud. I talked... and didn't notice.

The old woman disappeared.

Strangely, I don't feel ashamed. Far from it...

I feel relieved to say out those words loud. What I told her were the thoughts I kept inside. Thought I didn't even know how to put in words.

Telling them to a stranger...

Even though I'm not afraid.

They're in good hands.

She loved like me.

I hurry up and go back to look for my groceries.

More meetings like this and I'll never get back to the dorm.

I try to call Hyukkie after I got confused with the seasonings but he doesn't answer. Not after ten minutes, not after twenty. I stare at the phone screen as I put the groceries in the back of the car.

Is something the matter?

I already feel the nervousness rising inside me. I just can't help it. I always need to know where he is, what he's doing, if he's alright.

I try to call him again but no one picks up.

I drive back to the dorm.

Loaded with bags I arrive at the door and open it. It's quiet inside. A little too quite for my liking.

"Hyukkie?", I put the bags to the kitchen. "I'm back."

"Hyung?" Ryeowook appears.

"Where's Hyukkie?"

"Heechul-hyung and Leeteuk-hyung needed to talk to him.", he points behind himself. "They went to his room together."

"Hm..."

What could they want? He didn't tell me they needed to talk to him. I walk to the room he shares with Siwon.

The door's closed. I want to knock but pause the next second.

My insides freeze.

It's soft, hardly audible.

But I can hear it. Someone's crying...

Someone I never want to...