Donghae

"How did you...fall in love with each other?"

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.

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I lean my head onto my hand when I turn over to lie on my side. I can't see him that well. The lights from outside draw dark shadows at the bright wall. I should close the curtains but I can't sleep that well when it's too dark.

Hyukkie is great. I know he prefers a darker room to sleep in but he never once complained about it. When I woke up early in the morning from time to time I sometimes caught him with his head covered by the blanket. That's when I started to close my curtains during the night.

But now he's (much to my sorrow,

Siwon is so going to regret buying that ing high class bed) not here. How badly I want to have the reason for closing my curtains back...

"You never asked me that before."

"Mhh.."

" Why the change of mind all of sudden?"

He seems to think for a while before he answers. "This is the first time I see you...together like this. You know, when you told me about your relationship with him -- how can I say it...I wasn't able to make use of it. I mean, I've known you for years and I never believed that you'd turn out to be gay."

I frown. "It's a problem for you?"

"No. I told you before I don't mind. It's just different when I see you together than when you talk about it over the phone."

"I guess it is.", I smile and lie down on my back, facing the dark ceiling. " I'm sorry, Chi Soo. I can't give you an answer."

"Why?"

"Because... there isn't a particular time when I fell in love with him. I can't talk for him but for me... I guess I loved him all along the way and just needed to discover it. And I'm sure you believe me when I tell you I was shocked. I had a hard time admitting it to myself. And then I someday I couldn't hide it any longer.", I smile at the memory. " I swear to you, I've never seen anyone that shocked in my whole life."

Chi Soo moves slightly, the blanket rustles.

" And I was pretty sure I lost him that moment. He didn't talk to me for days and this broke my heart so many times I couldn't count it anymore."

"Hmm..."

"I have to admit, I gave up. Until that night, when he stood in front of my door all of sudden, sobbing like he had killed someone by accident.  And then--"

"So you got together that night?"

"Yes.", I nod, trying hard not to smile too hard. " Already sick of my stories?"

"No..." he says slowly.

Is it just me or does he sound kind of dispirited?

Again, silence fills the room for a few minutes.

"Donghae?"

"Yes?"

" What would you do if something happened to him?"

I get up abruptly, starring at his in the darkness invisible face. " What do you mean?"

I'm pretty sure I haven't talked to him about the latest happenings.

"Nothing.", I can hear him moving again, his voice sounds hushed when he talks again. "You'll take care of him?"

"Always... but--"

"Goodnight, Donghae."

I want to say something but his slow breathing indicates that he finished the conversation and that he won't answer even if I tried to talk to him again.

"Goodnight, Chi Soo." I carpet myself with the blanket.

He sounded so sad...

He wouldn't know anything?  Did Hyukkie talk to him? Maybe something happened and he was too scared to tell me or the others so he choose Chi Soo.

 I can't resent it. Chi Soo sends out such a calmness, no wonder everyone wants to talk to him.

Aish... Hyukkie. This is cruel...

***

I don't know how I finally managed to fall asleep. The vibration of my mobile wakes me up. I rub my eyes drowsily and take a look at the name of the caller.

It's Hyukkie. I'm wide awake.

"Baby? What's wrong?", I take a quick look at the watch next to my bed. "It's half past two."

"Nothing's wrong. I tried really hard but I can't seem to fall asleep."

I exhale the breath I kept inside. And I really thought...

"Can you.. talk to my for a while?" he asks shyly.

" I know something better."

"What do you mean?"

"Give me half a minute."

I end the call and get out of my bed.

That's it. We really tried but why forcing yourself?

I walk carefully to the door so I won't wake up my sleeping friend. Sorry, Chi Soo. I need to rescue my baby. I arrive in front of Siwons room a few seconds later and open the door slowly. My glance falls on Ryeowooks sleeping figure. So much for my trusty dongsaeng.

"Hae?", Hyukkie whispers reproachfully when he notices me. "You shouldn't have done that."

I get closer to the bed. "I shouldn't do what I'll do next."

I grit my teeth. Is this Siwons arm around his waist? I knew it.

"Ya, Siwon." I whisper while I shake him, totally ignoring Hyukjae who tries to stop me.

"Wha--" Siwon slowly opens his eyes just to meet my glare.

"Get out."

"But--"

"Hae. Leave him alone."

" This is my bed." he whines.

"Two options.", I lift two fingers. "  Either the three of us sleep together in this bed or you move over to Wookie or into my bed."

"You're serious?"

"Hae...please."

Siwon buries his face in his pillow. "You're serious..."

I start pouting and get down in front of the bed. "Siwonnie... don't be like that. You know I can't sleep without him and it seems like he got the same problem. That was the worst idea ever from the beginning. Have a heart. Your poor hyung needs you right now. You know, if Hyukkie doesn't get enough sleep he fails at the broadcast tomorrow. And then he will be kicked out of the company and then he'll get so depressed that he'll leave the country without telling me and that will be my death. You really want to kill me? You really want to?! If so, stay right there." I sniff and look at him with my puppy eyes.

"You're so going to buy me something nice. And I expect it to be expensive."

"Thanks! You're the best!"

He peels himself out of the blanket and staggers over to Wookies bed. He crawls inside and closes his eyes.

"I don't believe it."

"Move."

I lie down next to him, sighing satisfied when I'm finally able to put my arms around his thin waist.

" How could you--"

I shut him up with a kiss. A few hours and I already missed kissing him that much. It surprises me again and again how much I'm stuck in all of this.

Not that I mind...

"What did you want to say?" I ask when our lips part.

He just looks at the wall. "Never mind."

I just stare at his profile and start to caress his white skin. My finger touches his collarbone softly, moves up to his perfect jaw line and his firm cheek until it reaches his beautiful eyes. I stretch out my finger and touch his eyelashes. I giggle lovingly and pull my hand back when I feel the lashes with my fingertip.

"You're perfect."

"I'm not, pabo."

"Nope. No chance.", I rub my nose against his cheek and pull him closer to me. My head fits so perfectly into the crock of his neck.

I close my eyes, finally able to relax. " I was scared for a second."

"Why?" he asks. He moves his hand under the blanket and finally finds what he was looking for, my hand. He intertwines our fingers and caresses my fingertips.

"I thought something... occured  again."

"Hae... I promised you I won't lie about it anymore. Trust me."

"Always tell me, okay?"

"You're strange." he says with a smile.

I kiss his neck.

I feel miserable all of sudden. Sorry, baby. I need to keep it from you. You would understand it, right?

" I think Hae Ri doesn't like me." he says out of the blue.

I blink."Why?"

"Just a feeling."

"Aissh, baby. She's my friend. How could she dislike the one I love?"

"That's eas--"

I kiss him again this time with no intention to part our lips ever again. He's addictive, no drug could stand a chance against him. I nibble at his bottom lip and this time he's the first who slides his tongue inside my mouth. It gets harder to breath and the voice inside my head who tries to stop me from doing something stupid gets quiet when our tongues meet.

I let go of his hand just to put mine at his cheeks, pulling him closer to me. My hand slides down, just a little and--

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

... I knew I forgot something...

We mumble a few sorrys Siwons way and lay back at the mattress, trying to suppress our fast breathing.

And even if his cheeks burn out of embarrassment and the ual frustration gets to me again... we can't pull ourselves together and seconds later we press our faces into the blanket, trying not to laugh too loud so Siwon won't kill us for sure.

I'm happy.

Not that much...

Just more happy than anyone else in this whole universe.

As I said...

Not that much...

Kyuhyun

"I'm positive I put it here."

I rifle through my things and let out an frustrated moan.

"If you'd tidy up your room more often you wouldn't have to look for your stuff."

"Thanks mom."  I glare at Sungmin and leave the room after him.

"Maybe you left it upstairs. Go and take a look before breakfast."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

I leave the dorm and make my way upstairs. I'm not really into the elevator. I prefer taking the stairs. Isn't it kind of scary to be inside an iron box twenty metres above the ground?

"Your favourite maknae his here!" I yell when I open the door.

My gaze falls on Hyukjae who stands in the doorway.

"Hey, Kyu. Didn't get breakfast again?"

"No. This time I'm just looking for my phone."

He nods to the table where two identical ones lie. "I found it five minutes ago."

"Thanks." I want to take it but he's faster and grabs one. "That's  mine."

" Ya... it's not like I'd see something I don't know. I thought you only had on your computer."

He glares at me and walks into the kitchen.

" You're ready for the broadcast today?"

"Kind of." I hear him saying.

The noise of clacking plates can be heard.

"So... let's see." I unlock my mobile.

Strange... when did I change my background to a picture of Donghae?

A picture of... DONGHAE?

"HYUNG!"

Two steps and I arrived at the kitchen.

Too late.

He just stares and the screen of his... my mobile and no word crosses his lips.

No word has to. His face speaks volumes.