Donghae

"That boy is mess. And not just because of the alcohol."

We took a seat at the couch. Only one lamp in the corner enlightens the room."

"Hyung... Did he cry because of what I said to him? I never meant to scare him."

"I know."

I look a  my hands. "I just told him I'd leave because he didn't want to listen."

"You don't have to tell me that. He would have gotten it but he's too drunk. You know what he told me?"

I look at him in expectance.

"The exact wording was: Hyung, I don't want to embarrass Donghae. If I'm ugly I'll do surgery and become handsome."

I'm lost for words. Once and for all. I want to say something. My mouth opens slightly but no words crosses my lips.

"I shouldn't have told you?"

I shake my head, cuddling against his arms which are stronger than it seems. "I'm terrified...I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'll talk to his manager."

"Hyung!", I get up in an instant. " You can't!"

"No, Donghae. This is enough. He knows how to handle this. Hyukkie might be able to get some time to rest. He really needs to."

"But if he knows about us..."

"I'm not that dumb. I won't tell him... Donghae. If you're really that scared about it it's up to you. You're the closest to him. If you tell me not to do it I won't. I just hope you make the right decision."

He's right.

Even if everything inside me revolts against it. We should have talked to him from the beginning. I just didn't know he would take it that hard. I hoped he wouldn't. And I was afraid. And I'm still...

I wipe my eyes which get teary again.  "You know, hyung. I everything comes out and they try to seperate us I won't hesitate for a second before leaving Super Junior. And I'll take him with me, I promise."

A smile plays around his lips as he ruffles my hair. "Yaa. This isn't some kind of cheap drama. Save your oaths for  later.", he stretches and gets up. "And I really wanted to sleep peacefully tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"At least. Now I have to drag that stupid gamer back to our dorm. So annoying."

He's half outside when he stops all of sudden. "Donghae."

"Yes?"

His eyes narrow all of sudden and a cold shiver runs down my back.

" If your Chi Soo tells him something like that again I can guarantee for nothing."

And than he leaves me alone with my confusion.

The next morning

"Hyukjae..."

"I can't hear you."

"You can't stay inside the bathroom forever."

I knock again and sigh deeply as I lean against the wooden door.

"Get out."

"Never!"

"Why?"

"I'm so embarrassed I can't even pretend I don't remember anything!" he whines.

"It's alright."

"It's not. I feel so ashamed."

"Yaa... Hyukjae."

"Oh my god..."

I can hear a slight squeak. Did he just lie down in the bathtub?

"I just leave this country. I always wanted to move to Egypt."

"No way I let you."

"Then I'll stay inside of here. You can't see me in person but we could use Skype."

"Baby..."

" You're right. It's better to emigrate. What do you think about Norway?"

" I'll hunt you down even if you're in Siberia."

"Siberia..."

"LEE HYUKJAE!! GET YOUR OUT OF THERE!"

My sudden outburst seems to work. Seconds later the door slowly opens and a reveals a messed up Hyukjae.

" You feel sick?"

He shakes his head. " I thought I need to throw up before but it was okay."

"That's why you ran into the bathroom like a maniac?"

He's quiet pale.

"No....................."

He looks to the ground and I can't see his face behind his hair.

"Hyukkie?"

"Donghaaaaeeeeeee", he clenches my shirt and leans against my chest. ", I'm so sorry *sniff* I really *sniff* want to *sniff* die."

"Yaaa. No dying when I'm around." I hug him tightly and caress the back of his head. " Let's forget about it for now. I need to talk to you later on but now you need to eat."

He hides his face at my shoulder and shakes his head.

"Why not?"

"Ihhsagbdjj."

"I can't understand you like that."

He turns his head a little and I can feel his warm breath on my neck. "The others will laugh at me."

"I'll protect you."

"They're right."

"No one will sa--"

" Hyukjae? Throwing up already?"

And the bathroom door closes with a loud bang, Hyukkie inside again.

I glare at Kyuhyun. " You're so going to regret this."

"What?" he plays the innocent. "I was just concerned."

"Shut up and get back to your dorm. Why the hell are you here again anyway?"

"Sungmin's in a bad mood. He keeps yelling at me."

"Serves you right."

He leaves me alone, slightly cursing, and I turn back to the bathroom door and try to drown the sound of the shower.

***

"Wookie made this for you."

I put the tablet on the bed. He sits there with his arms around his legs, looking like he just beat up a puppy. I sit down in front of him and bend forward to peck his full lips. "You really want to eat here?"

He nods.

"Actually you don't want to eat anything. Right?"

He nods again.

I sigh deeply and take a spoon.

"Ahhhh. " I take a spoon and heap rice on it.

"Hae..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH."

He opens his mouth and I shove the rice inside his mouth. "Woahhh. My boyfriend is such a cutie."

His cheeks blush slightly and I can't help but to giggle. "More?"

He nods slowly.

I fill the spoon once again.

"I was embarrassing, right?"  he asks while chewing slowly.

"Nope. You just made me quiet jealous."

"Oh..."

"We really need to set up a few rules."

"Rules?"

"Yes. Like... No drinking when I'm not around."

"I don't think I'll get drunk ever again."

I shake my head. " Everyone says that. I give you two weeks and you're not reluctant anymore. And I don't like that thought but I guess it can't be helped. But if I ever hear you telling Kyuhyun I love you again I'm so going to be mad at you."

"I did?"

" I thought you remember everything?"

"Some parts are kind of blurry.", he drops his gaze. ", I'm sorry if I made you mad with my actions."

"Come over to me, baby."

He looks at me in confusion. As if I said something totally unbelievable.

" Why are you that surprised?"

"It's just... I kind of did stupid things an--"

"And because of that I don't want to have you around me anymore?"

"Kind of?"

"Pabo."

I grasp his hand and pull him over to me, carefully, as if he's made of glass.

He seems so much more fragile to me after last night. Others would think I'm crazy if they listened to my thoughts, but it's the truth. He's like a hallucination... nothing real can be as good as him. Nothing real can make me fall in love that hard. And I have to be careful cause he could vanish so fast.

I touch him.

Touch his perfect skin, his soft cheeks, kiss his beautiful lips.

" I can only say it over and over again. You're perfect to me."

"I'm not..."

"You are. And I'll tell you until you realize and even than I won't stop. Got it?"

I can see it, Hyukjae.

Even if you try to hide it.

But there was a smile.

Only for a split second but long enough for my heart to skip a beat.

I hug him tightly and put chaste kisses all over his neck. I feel how he relaxes in my arms. "You're still tired?"

"A little."

"Shall we sleep a little more?"

"But we've got dance practise today."

"Let's skip it."

"We can't."

I let him go and turn away. "Now that you mentioned that I might be a little mad at you for real."

"Hae! That's blackmailing!"

I start pouting. " I'm so tired. I was awake all night because I looked after you and I couldn't even cuddle with you because you wouldn't lay still. I'm dried out."

"Leeteuk will be mad."

A wide grin appears on my face. "Already told him. He's fine with it."

"Hae!"

I push him back onto the mattress and put the food away. "Just sleep. Do it for me." I cover up both of us and snuggle into him.

"Baby?"

"Hm?"

I intertwine our fingers. "What did Chi Soo tell you?"

"Chi Soo?"

His confusion is real. Sungmin wouldn't tell me anything and now that it seems like Hyukkie really doesn't remember all of the things that happened last night I'm quiet worried.

He looks at me with his big brown eyes. I his cheek softly. " Let's talk later."

"But you seemed so serious all of sudden."

I am serious.

" Forget it for now. Just sleep."

"O...okay."

I close my eyes. I'm more tired than I thought.

I didn't expect Hyukkies kiss.

Not that I mind.

His lips touch mine. Only for a short moment.

"I love you, Donghae."

I pull him closer  and slowly drift into a dreamless sleep.

***

"Stop the car."

"Hyukjae! If you get out of this car... I swear..."

"What?"

"Stay.Inside."

"I'm tired, Hae. And I don't want to talk anymore. I'm leaving."

"You can't!"

"Sure?"

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