" Who do we have here? Donghaes little princess...", he scoffs, slightly faltering due to the alcohol that's still in his blood.

He walks back into the room. I take a deep breath before I follow him and close the door behind me. " You drank too much, Chi Soo." I say, my gaze locked at the bottle on the table for a second.

" The cliché start of those conversations, right?"  he falls down at the table, his long legs stretched out. He plays with an nearly empty glass. There a light brow liquid in it.

Whiskey?

"Did Donghae send you?"

"No one send me. I came here because I wanted to talk to you."

"Spare me with your forgiveness. "

" Who said I'd forgive you?"

"You're eyes.", his first inapproachable attitude slowly fades away. " They tell me that you'd do it for him."

I would do. As cliché as it sounds.  I guess love just makes you cliché.

" I dreamed about it. Him looking at me like he looks at you. Kissing him. Calling him mine. But... he never did."

I can hear his sadness. But I'm not here to get affected by pity for him.  He keeps talking, more to himself.  He drank a lot last night to still be that drunk.

I can feel emotions in me while he keeps talking.  But none of them are too friendly.

I feel distaste for him.

Talking about Donghae like this while he's the one that made him cry.

Unforgivable.

" I want you to leave Donghae and me alone."

I'm surprised how steady my voice is.

He lifts his gaze. "And what if I don't want to?"

" You can't believe that you can safe your friendship anymore, Chi Soo. Too much happened. I know that Hae... hates what you did...to me. And to him. I don't think there's a going back anymore. He might talk to you once again to clear things up. But... get used to the fact that your friendship is over."

He scoffs. " Stop talking like you mean so much to him."

"I know how much I mean to him. And it's more than I could ever ask for."

And I'm not going to forget about it anymore.

" I want to know."

The mood just changed.

"I want to know what's so special about you."

And what happens afterwards is kind of blur to me later.

When I'm too slow to get out of the door.

When he locks it and I still think it's some kind of joke.

When he presses me against the wall and I'm able to feel for the first time how strong he is in contrast to me.

When he starts kissing me roughly and I freeze.

When his lips wander down my neck and I start to scream and try to get away from him.

Futile.

When my voice starts to get weak.

When I started to prepare myself for the unavoidable, silent tears streaming down my cheek and he let me go all of sudden.

When he looks at me with eyes widen in horror.

When he rushes out of the room, leaving me there.

When something snaps in my head and I notice the security cam above me.

***

"You know, it's not like I want to do this."

Hae Ri's  looking at the envelop I'm putting in the middle of the table, her eyes reddened from crying too much.

"You want to. Just admit it."

I don't know where to look.

Her eyes...

As if she pierces through me, uncovering the shameful things I'm thinking...

I'm doing.

But... how couldn't I?

I'm not doing this for me.

But otherwise... am I doing this for him?

Or is it just the fact I'm too weak to think of other ways?

Other ways to save him?

Other ways to save us?

I'm taking a deep breath before looking back into her eyes.

No.

I've crossed the line long ago.

This is nothing I could stop from happening anymore. It's Chi Soos own fault, not mine. And I'm just too involved in his plans to ignore them.

I wince when I one of the marks slightly aches.

"This could be the end for your career. Your image will most probably be destroyed."

" Well", I'm saying while leaning at the back of the chair. " My image might be destroyed. But he... won't even get the chance to set up one. You owe me this, Hae Ri. And you know that."

***

Donghae

I his back every time he starts to cry again. It happens a lot in the following hours. I kiss his salty lips after every attack, remain in this position for a moment only to move my lips to his ear, whispering words of comfort into it that hopefully help to calm him down.

He never lets go off me. His arms always circled around my waist or at least his hand that grasp my shirt tightly.

"I feel dirty."

When he mumbles those words I start to kiss his tainted skin. Softly. My lips only brush over the marks that Chi Soo left.

And then there are those times where he seems to be overtaken by anger. Those terrify me the most.

It's getting darker outside when he goes on another rampage, walking up and down the room with the angry glint in his eyes that I hate so much. It scares the out of me.

And when he kicks the luggage at the ground the second time, I start to cry, overwhelmed by the latest happenings.

He stops his movements and just looks at me for a second.

"I scared you?"

I shake my head frantically and it results in me choking on my own saliva.

"I did."

"No!" I answer a little too fierce.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to shout...", I lower my gaze and only realize he got closer when the mattress sinks down due to his weight. "How could I be scared of you? I'm just so afraid... that this is the moment you finally slip away from me. It hurts so much to see you like this. I can hardly breath."

Another crying fit disturbs me.

He takes my hand into his.

" What if Hae Ri had made it public? What if everyone had find out?! They could have send you away! What if they took you away from me? How could you even think about doing that?! You know I can't be without you! I can't breath without you! I'm literally nothing! And I know I shouldn't be like this but that's just the way I am! And it'll get worse and worse until you finally realize that you never ever are allowed to even risk our relationship the slightest bit!"

My breathing slows down after my last words.

I never once looked at him.

His hand never let go of mine.

" Hyukjae.", I lift my head and tighten my grip on his hand. " Even though I'm like this right now. Don't think I can't hold you anymore, okay? Please... don't stop relying on me even though I said those things right now. I had to tell you... and you know I tend to cry. And I know you tend to think you can do things alone. I'll be there. No matter what. Just give me a moment. A lot happened."

"When was the last time I was the one to hold you, Hae?"

         I didn't mean for it to happen.

But it's not like I'd ever hesitate.

My body and my mind longed for him too much and when he presses his plumb lips onto mine I can't hold back anymore.

His meant to be soothing kiss turns out another way.

I grasp his shirt and pull him down.

I nibble at his bottom lip -  still tasting the saltiness which also must cover mine- and try to put all my emotions into it.

There's no way he'll ever know how much I love him.

How could he when I , myself, am not able to?

Eunhyuk

He turns us over and now it's me who gets pressed into the soft mattress.

I felt pure horror when Chi Soo was all over me.

Now I just have the desire to have Donghae even closer.

His touches will always be the most soothing thing I'm able to experience.

He's gentle.

Even more than while our first time.

As if he can read my mind.

His lips wander down my cheek, softly caressing the red marks.

I thought he wouldn't want to touch me anymore but even his slightest movement shows me something different.

He takes things slow and I feel so safe and secure that the tears threaten to fall again,

And when we reach that moment together I can't help but to pull him closer.

Sweet nothings escape my mouth while I try to catch my breath.

Donghae

"They forgot about us." I mumble, my head buried in the crook of his neck.

They must have left for the interview tonight without us.

I can't be more thankful for that.

He absentmindedly caresses my back.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not going to change, right? I don't have to get used to another Hyukjae, right?"

He smiles slightly. " We couldn't change it anyway.

" Don't say that. "

He winces as an answer to my words. "I'm sorry."

"No. Please. It's alright. I understand you, really." he avoids me when I get up a little.

I cup his face and press my lips on his swollen ones. I smile into the kiss. " I was a little harsh?"

He blushes slightly.

"You haven't changed." I mumble against his lips.

"I'm afraid I did."

I part from him and furrow my brows. " What makes you think like that?"

"Well... I've never felt such an overwhelming urge to hurt someone. I'm not used to it. And I'm afraid I had it inside of me all the time and just didn't know. What, if he triggered something in me?"

"Baby...", I pull him closer. " Everyone has it inside. But not everyone is as open about it as Heechul and Kyuhyun."

"You, too?"

He looks into my eyes and there's this hopeful glimmer. " Hyukjae. " I slowly circle my arms around his slim waist when I lie down at my side again. " I want to kill him for what he did to you. Or at least send him to the depths of hell where he can rot."

" I want to see him again."

"Why?"

"Pay back."

"Baby. Promise me you won't. Stay away from him as far as possible."

"How can I promise you when I feel so much hatred?"

I kiss his cheek. Softly. Without a word. His words scare the hell out of me. " I told you not to put our relationship in danger."

"Sorry."

"Stop being sorry."

" Hae.", he moves in my arms so he can look at me. " It's... strange. When you see it in the movies you can't understand it. They get and feel so dirty and no matter how often they wash up, they still feel dirty. And now... I all of sudden know how it feels. Even if he didn't go all the way I don't think I will feel clean any time soon again. And that is the reason why I can't promise you to keep calm when I see him once again."

" You don't put our relationship in danger because you love me less?"

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

I nod and such a loving smile spreads on his lips that I can't help but to kiss them.

" Idiot. I'm not going to tell you anymore about it cause you never trust my words."

"Baby..." I whine and pout.

" Kiss me instead of whining."

"Sure.", I answer with a smile. " And just so you know. I'm not going to let you out of my sight until I know he's far away."

" I'm sorry, Donghae."