Eunhyuk

It is too warm...

I can't breath, want to get rid of the blanket but to do that I have to move... too exhausting.

Where am I?

Why is it so hot...

My pillow's wet.

And the noise, so loud.

From where...?

I has to stop...

I could reach out with my hand... somehow...

Donghae

I stand next to the stove and view the pot infront of me critically. WhenRyeowook cooks it always looks like the easiest thing on earth but at the moment I'm not even sure anymore if the brew I created could be described as eatable. I dip a spoon inside and taste it carefully. The next moment I spit the content of my mouth into the sink. With that I'll knock him out again for sure.

I take the pot from the stove.

"Ryeowook?"

I put my best puppy-face on and walk outside the kitchen to the dining table. I know he can't resist it. The younger one sighs and gets up. " I told you from the beginning to let me do it."

I start to pout. At least, I wanted to try.

They came back from practise later than expected, fully laden with hot-water bags and strange fruits I haven't seen before in my life but they still swore they contained a lot of vitamines.

The boys from the other apartment also went to visit Hyukjae. Everyone was still a little shocked. Nevertheless, I didn't let them go inside the my room for too long. Just a brief look and I chased them away. He needs silence. And he doesn't get it if Siwon waves around a wet facecloth infront of his face.

Kyuhyun and Sungmin sit at the table and play a card game. I surprised Kyuhyun knows how to play such a... non-digital game.

He contains himself with comments today. In the end he loves his sick hyung and he's worried. Today, his affection is permitted.

My glance falls at the clock. I'm suprised when I realize it's already past nine. "Hyukkie has to get his medication on time."

"Overprotective fishy." Kyuhyun plays a card and Sungmins eyebrow twitches.

"Ya. You're cheating!"

"You're just bad in it. Realize the truth, hyung." Kyuhyun answers unmoved.

"I want a rematch!"

"I'm tired."

"Just once!"

I leave them alone in quarrel-mode and go to my room, a glass of water in one and the pill in the other hand.

"Hyukkie?"

Only the bed is visible in the light of the bedside lamp which I turned on so he would find his way if he needed to get up.

He lies at his back, his sweaty hair adheres to his face. He sleeps but his lid twitch. Maybe he has some kind of feverish dream.

"Baby? You have to wake up."

I touch his shoulder gently and he flinchs slightly. His shirt is wet through with perspiration. He needs to change it.

"Dong...hae?" He blinks.

I sit down at the bed for a moment, smile at him lovingly and caress his cheek. "Sorry for waking you up. You can go back to sleep after you took your medicine."

He puts his arm over his eyes. "I feel dizzy."

"You've got a fever but I don't think it became worse." I take the clinical thermometer to be sure about it. I put it into his mouth and take a look at the display after a while. "It hasn't increased. That's good. Now sit up for a moment and take the pill. I got water for you."

I help him to sit up. He takes the pill and drinks a bit of the water.

"Thanks." he mumbles as I put everything on the little table next to the bed.

I shake my head. " I told you already. It's okay. " my glance falls at the ground and I catch sight of his mobile. He follows the movement of my hand with his eyes and looks away when I also place it on the table.

"I'll get you a fresh shirt, alright?"

I go to my wardrobe and and pull out the next- best shirt I can find. Hyukjae slowly puts his legs out of the bed and stands up carefully. With shaky movements he gets out of his shirt and drops it.

I have to take a deep breath.

His body gets more appealing by the day. I feel battered when my gaze glimpse at his abs, just for a second. His exercises pay off. But today, he's sick... and the things that are in my head at the moment... I should spare them for later.

Someday... I can pull myself together.

"Here. Wear this."

He slides his arms inside the sleeves and I pull the shirt over his head. I stay close to him while arranging his hair. A  rapt smile apperas on my face. "What a handsome boyfriend..."

I can't even finish speaking when he circles his arms around my neck. He snuggles closer to me. I catch my breath, still, after all the time we've been together.

"Is it a bad thing to like being sick a little just because I get all of your attention?"

"My baby gets all of my attention even if he's healthy."

"Yours..."

He's smiling?

I don't know.

I put my arms around his back and squeeze him. If it just would be possible to have him closer... I don't want any space between us.

I feel his hot lips pecking my collarbone. "I'll do my best."

"What do you mean?"

"What I said."

He finds the way to my lips and kisses them, pulls away after a second. So fast that I have to think about if it really happened.

"Monkey loves fishy."

And even if he doesn't say it the... right way... if he can't say it... those words hit me, deep inside. And I will lock them up where they pierced trough me... to never forget it.

"Yaa, Hyukkie. I guess I have to give you medication more often."

My voice trembles, my legs are like jelly.

"You like me saying it?"

Like? I can't even say I love it... It's... undiscribeable.

Instead of answering I put my hands on his cheeks and pull him closer, seal his lips with a kiss which would have lasted longer if it wasn't for him being sick. Not today... Even if it's the last thing I want to to now, I seperate our lips. He leans against my shoulder.

"Why did you stop?" His voice sounds weak.

"You have to lay down. You'll feel better tomorrow."

Everything inside me resist but in the end I let go off him. I push him to bed with soft power and tuck him in. "Ryeowook is making some food at the moment. If you're still awake later you can eat it."

"I'm not hungry."

"Then you eat tomorrow."

I bend over him and put a kiss on his forehead. "I love, love, love you, my most precious anchovy."

His features relax.

I want to leave the room but his hand graps my wrist. "You'll sleep here anyway?"

I smile down at him. "Who could keep me from it?"

And it seems like the enlightment just hits him that instant. A slight smile lights his face, reaches his closed eyes.

"You're right... who could keep you."

I close the door behind me and stay there for a moment.

It's hard to breath.

I can't stay still.

Kyuhyun and Sungmin still sit at the table when I come back. Their little fight seems to be over. Sungmin's the winner, I guess. Didn't Kyuhyun say he doesn't want to play anymore? Now he sits there, highly concentrated on his cards. He doesn't even look at me when I enter the room.

"It took you awhile, hyung."

I fall down on a chair, put my hand at the table and start to tap with my fingers.

No, I can't sit down. I get up, walk into the kitchen to Ryeowook, look over his shoulder while he cooks, get back to the table and stay unsteady next to the chair.

"Donghae?", Sungmin puts his cards down and looks at me. "Is something the matter?"

"Ya, Sungmin-hyung, it's your turn."

Sungmin ignores Kyuhyun and still looks at me. "Your cheeks are red. You aren't sick, are you?"

Automatically, I reach out my arm and point at the closed door which leads to my room. "This boy...", the content of my head is mud. " Can you imagine how much I love this boy? I ask you because I'm not able anymore."

Kyuhyun lets loose an annoyed sigh, but Sungmin just looks at me in a warm way.

I run my shaky fingers through my hair. "That's it. I'll pass out here and now. I don't think I can take this feeling anymore."

"What kind of feeling?" Sungmin asks smiling.

I clasp my stomach and before I know I burst out laughing, even though I could also cry. "Happiness... I'm so happy."

I bite my bottom lip and beam to the ground.

I'm the happiest person in the world....

I promised him...

What am I talking about? In the universe...

I won't think about it...

How to handle this?

It's okay...

Hyukkie...

Hae...