How quiet it is...

Is today really the first time I notice the ticking of the clock, hanging above the sofa?

Tik, tak, tik, tak...

I'm going crazy, want to get up, but every fibre of my body objects. I will stay here and I will wait. Until the wind might have an understanding and closes the open door... at last closes it.

But....

...it's a windless day.

So quiet...

Why didn't he stay that calm?

Like always...

Why getting up today?

Why walking outside and not turning back?

Tik, tak, tik, tak...

I don't want to see the dark floor outside anymore. Why doesn't anyone close the door?

I can't...

... I can't close the door behind Hyukkie...

Donghae

If I was the leading actor in one of those cheesy dramas I would be in my bed, bolt upright, sweating all over, my gaze focused at the wall. But the last scenes for my new drama are completed and so I just open my eyes slowly, awakened by an early sunray which falls through the open window. Everything's still a little blurry but after a while I'm able to recognise the white ceiling above me.

Waking up before someone wakes me up?

Strange...

But not as strange as this dream. My hand touches my chest. I'm still feeling this narrowness, slighter than in my dream but strong enough to feel uncomfortable. Definitely one of my more realistic dreams.

Almost as if Hyukkie...

Still drowsy I feel the other side of the bed. It is empty and already cold. Nothing that could calm me at the moment.

I get up slowly and try to remember the happenings of yesterday.

Did anything happen?

Not that I'm aware of.

Practise in the morning, free time in the afternoon. And not to forget this great concert in the evening. After that?  We drove back to our dorm. I remember how tired everyone was, me included. Hyukjae fell asleep as soon as he sat down next to me, his head hitting the window every time the car moved a bit too much.

Actually we decided not to show our love infront of the manager, something which is very difficult for me the longer we're together. The members know everything and seem to have become accustomed to it but I don't think everyone would react like that.

I couldn't help it and smiled into the darkness inside the van. Who would have known the mere presence of someone would throw me off the track... Not that I cared about it. It's Hyukkie we're talking about.

I wanted to make myself comfortable in the seat when Hyukjaes head hit the window again, this time louder than before. I couldn't stand it any longer. I was sure it's painful, but he was just too tired to notice it. I gently touched his head and pulled him over so he could rest against my shoulder. Heechul watched me through the driving mirror. He always sits next to the driver.

Our gazes met and a a hardly noticeable smile appeared on his face.

Despite my own tiredness I had to supress a smirk.

I left my arm around his neck so he wouldn't hit the window again.

The first thing he should have done back home was showering but I probably had to tie him up in the shower so he wouldn't fall and sleep on the ground. I was sure he would barely find his way into his (my) bed without help.

His hair smelled like a mixture of sweat and the scent of this new shampoo he bought a week ago.

To me the smell didn't really matter. I  even leaned my head against his soft, thick hair.

Best pillow ever...

"I love you, Hyukkie." I whispered into his ear, just loud enough so he would be the only one to hear it if he was awake.

And just like he heard it for real, the next moment his arm laid over my stomach, his hand so close to mine that I couldn't stop myself from taking it. And normally I should have died right that instant cause no one is able to handle that much happiness...

The door opens the moment my lips try to form a featherbrained smile and pulls me out of my thoughts. Ryeowook enters the room, already showered and dressed. I take a quick look at the alarmclock next to my bed. 6:54 am. Still six minutes left until I have to get up.

"Good morning, hyung. You slept well?"

I smile at my younger roommate. "Yes, But I'm still tired." I yawn.

"Tomorrow we'll be able to sleep longer. But now you have to get up. Someone will pick us up in an hour. Breakfast is ready."

Since Hyukkie sleeps over at my bed more often ( always), Ryeowook flees to Heechul to use the second bed in his room. Sometimes I feel bad... sometimes. I asked him about it, if he's not alright with this, but he said it is okay. "This is my way of supporting you." And I believe in every word. But still... I should just ask him to switch rooms with Hyukkie. That would be the best alternative. Not only for them. Hyukkie currently shares a room with Siwon and, well, let me just describe it as something I don't really like.

There it is again, the memory of my dream.

"Hyukkie's awake already?"

"He's sitting at the table. Well... sitting might be the wrong expression. He's sleeping at the table. And I'm not sure if he knows he's using his rice as a pillow."

Simply getting up and leaving me here...Then I guess he won't mind if I just stay in bed.

"Hyung! Don't  fall asleep again! You have to get u---- DONGHAE-HYUNG!"

Ryeowook shakes my shoulder.  I could tell him this won't work but to do so I have to open my mouth again and this is just too exhausting.

"Do I really have to call Heechul?"

I don't show any signs of life. Heechul is probaly THE person who understands me the most if it's about getting up early.

Ryeowook gives up and I sigh in satisfaction while turning over to the other side. My cheek rests against the pillow I'm hugging.

" Just five more minutes. Then I'll get up for sure."

"You always say that. And in the end we're too late because of you! You really want me to get Hyukjjae-hyung?"

Oh, my sweet Wookie. This is excatly the thing I want. I can't get up without cuddle with Hyukkie for at least a minute. I put the blanket tighter around me and the airplane takes off to La-La-Land...

"Lee Donghae!"

Did I fall asleep again? I wince at the sudden words. I blink and try to look at the door. Hyukjae leans against the door case, already dressed, his arms entwined infront of his chest.

At once I beam at him. " Hyukkie!"

I hold my arms out to him but he makes no move to come closer.

"Drop it. Why do you give Reyowook a hard time again?"

I start to pout. "I'm tired."

"Me too. Do you still see me in bed?"

"You got up without telling me."

"You were asleep. I-"

"You owe me two minutes. Get back into bed." I look at him with my big puppy eyes. He always tries to be strict but in the end he can't keep it up.

"Ya, Hae! Get up!"

He walks next to the bed and tries to grap the blanket but I'm faster. One courageous grip and he lands next to me at the pillow. I tuck him in, put my arm around him and close my eyes. 

"Five minutes."

And with that I pull him closer to me.

"Hae..." I guess this should have been some kind of protest. If so, it was really miserable.

"I missed you."

"I was in the other room."

"Too far." My lips softly touch his cheek. I love the smell of his freshly washed hair.

"I always forget how comfortable your bed is." he says after a few seconds of fighting with himself and then giving up.

"You always forget how much you love to lie next to me."

"How could I ever forget about this?" he answers while smiling happily at me.

"Ya, Hyukjae. You want me to come at you before breakfast?"

I feel how hot his face gets.

He's not ready...

Not yet. But the last thing I will do is pushing and might scaring him with that. How could I? My embrace gets tighter, his hand rests warm at my hip.

"I dreamed about you." I mumble into his ear after some time. Without opening my eyes I know he looks at me questioningly. 

"You... disappeared. And somehow I knew you wouldn't come back to me."

"Great... predictions like that early in the morning."

I sigh happily and nestle up against his shoulder. " What predictions? As if you'd leave me... As if you could leave me."

"Ya...", he says softly his lips touching my hair. " Why that confident?"

"Because you can't live without me."

He told me.

That night... and if words could really pierce through someone like a bullet I would have laid at the ground, bleeding all over...which I couldn't care less about that moment. "I love you, Donghae."

I want to change my position when my hand accidently touches his cheek. I sit up in an instant.

"What is it?" he asks confused when I palpate his cheek with my back of the hand.

"I think you have a temperature."

"As if..."

Quickly, I hold his hands and bend over him, touching his forehead with mine. " Don't lie about it. You don't feel well, do you?"

He shrugs his shoulders. " My throat feels a little soar, nothing more."

"Lee Hyukjae! Did you even think about telling anyone?"

He  presses his lips together and averts my gaze.

I jump out of the bed and walk to the door. " I will talk to Leeteuk. You'll stay at home today."

"No!" he protests full-throated and I pause for a moment.

"Don't make a fuss about it. We only have practise today and tomorrow it's our free day. And I promise I won't move any finger and you have to serve me all day, but please let me go today." He looks at me in a beseeching way, his beautiful lips slightly parted. I sigh deeply and scratch my ear. " I don't like it. You really shouldn't overdo it."

"I swear, it's only my throat. Nothing to make a fuss about."

I release the door handle. " It won't kill you if you let others worry about you once in a while."

He gets out of bed, a soft smile at his face. "You worry enough."

I tip my mouth. " For that I want to have a kiss."

He still gets insecure when I act that outspoken. " You'll get infected..."

"Than I'll get ill anyway...after last night.", he blushes again and I chuckle. ,, Come here."

And my lips touch his before he's able to protest again.