“I feel so tired. I wish I could just sleep in your arms right now.” Suzy sighed wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. “Well what is stopping you..” Jonghun patted her head gently. “Well I can’t just fall asleep in your arms so easily.. Not in this situation. I need to check up on Appa to see if he’s alright. Anyway why are you not watching over him?” Suzy realised that fact a little too late.

“Your father is awake & asked for you so that is why I came to cafeteria to call you. I saw your mother & brother going back into your father’s room. He’s being taken care of right now.” Jonghun smiled at her tightly. He was lying to her. He swore that he would never lie to her or hurt her yet he was doing exactly that. “I’ve become something I loathe.” Jonghun sighed with regret.

Suzy looked at him curiously. “Did you say something?” she asked him quietly. “No.. No I didn’t say anything..” Jonghun found himself flooded with shame as he lied to Suzy again. “I think you should go home Jonghun. You don’t look well.” Suzy felt his forehead that was incidentally hot from all the shameful blushing Jonghun had been doing. “I’m fine Suzy. It’s you who should take a rest.” Jonghun touched her cheek again.

“What is wrong? You’re looking at me as if this is the last time you’re ever going to see me.” Suzy raised her eyebrows at the sorrowful look in Jonghun’s eyes. “I’m just sad seeing you sad Bae Potato. I’m so used to the smiling you.” Jonghun reached out & hugged Suzy tightly. “You babo.. I’m smiling now. Happy?” he heard Suzy laughing & pulled back to look into her tired but smiling face. “Yes. Always smile this way. You look beautiful.” Jonghun leaned forward & brushed his lips against Suzy’s forehead.

“Why don’t you rest here for a while? You can sleep for a while on this table. Your mother will wake you up when she returns.” Jonghun gestured towards the table. “But I..” Suzy started to protest but Jonghun put a finger to her lips. “Ssh.. No more arguments. Rest.” He said firmly. With a resigned sigh Suzy nodded. “Will you be going home now?” Suzy asked sadly.

“Yes I think I better leave.” Jonghun answered even though he could see it in Suzy’s eyes that she wanted him to stay. She needed him but Jonghun had no choice. He already had to start distancing himself from her if he wanted to keep his promise to Mr Bae. “Yes I think I need to go check up on my parents as well. I haven’t been able to spend much time with them ever since they came to Korea. I feel a bit guilty about that.” Jonghun made a face.

“I understand.” Suzy gave him an understanding nod. “You have been spending an awful lot of time with me these days.” She smiled her cheeks turning rosy. “And enjoying every moment of it.” Jonghun added without any prompting. Realising that he was starting to fall back into the spiral of getting lost in Suzy’s love again Jonghun made an effort to stand up to break the spell.

“I should really be going.” Jonghun kissed Suzy on the forehead again & quickly walked away before he lost control of his senses & started kissing her like there was no tomorrow. “I will call you tomorrow.” Suzy called out to him watching her boyfriend leave.

“Call me whenever you are free.” Jonghun bid her goodbye. As his tall lean frame disappeared out of the cafeteria Suzy rested her head on the cafeteria & fell asleep almost immediately. Jonghun was acting strangely but at that moment all Suzy could think of was sleep.

“Suzy.. Suzy wake up..” she heard someone calling her by her name. With a loud groan Suzy lifted up her head & blinked at the bright light invading the comfy privacy of her eyes. “Wh.. What is it?” she asked groggily. “Your father wants to see you.” Mrs Bae told her daughter kindly & started smoothing Suzy’s messy hair down. “Is he alright?” Suzy yawned.

“Yes he is fine. He says his stomach still hurts a little but overall the doctor said he is already recovering well.” Mrs Bae replied much to the relief of Suzy. She had thought her father’s condition was going to deteriorate overnight as she slept. Suzy walked into the hospital room tentatively. She knew that her father had taken ill because of her, because he had read her diary entry about giving up her scholarship to be with her love.

“He must be so disappointed in me..” Suzy sighed inwardly as her eyes fell upon her father’s exhausted visage. “Appa.. Are you okay?” Suzy took a seat beside her father & touched his arm gently. An IV drip had been inserted into his left arm & Suzy winced at the large purple bruise welling up on her father’s arm because of it. “That looks incredibly painful. Are you sure you are okay Appa?” Suzy questioned when her father merely stared at her.

“I’ll live. How are you?” Mr Bae asked his question holding a question in it. “What do you mean Appa? I’m worried for you. Are you still angry with me?” Suzy asked her eyes dropping to the plush red carpet lining the hospital floor. “I’m surprised you still care about the feelings of your parents now Suzy.” Mr Bae said quietly stunning Suzy into silence.

From his words Suzy had no doubt that her father was extremely furious with her but his bad condition prevented him from getting too angry. “Appa.. Will you let me explain?” Suzy pleaded with her father. He didn’t reply. “I love Jonghun. I love him so much. I can’t bear to even think of being separated from him.” Suzy spoke about Jonghun with tenderness.

“And you could bear to shatter the expectations of your parents for him? Are you going to throw away the pride of your parents, your family for this man? What is so great about him?” Mr Bae questioned. “What is so great about Omma? You love her don’t you?” Suzy shot back quickly. Mr Bae’s eyes darkened ominously. “So your mind is made up? You are going to pick Jonghun over your dreams?” Mr Bae’s voice was toneless.

“Appa.. Please understand. I can’t come to a decision so easily. I.. I’m planning to ask Jonghun to come with me to London.” Suzy finally said. Mr Bae raised his eyebrows. “So you expect he would just drop everything & come with you to London? You are being naïve Suzy. He is not going to leave behind his life to spend 2 years waiting for you in London to complete your scholarship.” Mr Bae scoffed.

“I know how much he loves me.” Suzy said confidently. “Enough to leave everything behind for you?” Mr Bae asked quietly. Suzy blinked at her father. He didn’t know Jonghun like she did. She trusted him implicitly but her father didn’t believe in their love for each other. If he didn’t then Suzy was going to make him believe.

Jonghun shambled into his mansion dazed & confused. His eyes were unfocused & he didn’t even realise that he was walking right into the living room couch. “Son! Where have you been all this time?” Mrs Choi rushed up to Jonghun looking worried. “I was at the hospital.” Jonghun answered emotionlessly. “At the hospital? Why son? Is something wrong? Is Suzy alright?” Mrs Choi’s voice rose. “She is fine. Her father is the one who is sick & it’s because of me.” Jonghun continued mumbling.

“What? It’s because of you? Come here & sit down.” Mrs Choi took her son’s hand & led him to the couch. Jonghun obediently followed his mother to the couch & plopped down on it tiredly. With a little more prompting by his mother Jonghun let lose all his pent up emotions & related everything to her. Mrs Choi had a slightly distraught look in her eyes by the end of Jonghun’s narration.

“Son I had no idea that all these things have happened. I’m so sorry.. Would you like me to speak to Suzy’s father to change his mind?” Mrs Choi volunteered with concern. Jonghun shook his head. “No. I don’t think it is a good idea for you to speak to Mr Bae. He told me not to speak of this to anyone, not even to Suzy. Please keep this to yourself.” Jonghun sighed.

“But son.. You really love Suzy don’t you? How are you going to hide the pain in your eyes from her when you break her heart? Will you be able to break her heart without breaking yours first?” Mrs Choi patted Jonghun’s shoulder gently. At his mother’s caring touch Jonghun felt hot tears stinging the back of his eyelids. Before he realised it Jonghun was sobbing onto his mother’s lap.

“Ssh.. I’ve never seen you cry over a girl this way. Suzy has really done a number on you hasn’t she? You’re so completely in love with her.” Mrs Choi Jonghun’s hair in her own motherly comforting way. “I love her with all my heart. It’s too bad that Suzy’s father doesn’t sense just how much I love her. To him I’m only taking advantage of his daughter’s innocence.” Jonghun sniffled.

“I trust my son. If only others could see the love you have for Suzy. Son are you really going to let her go without a fight?” Mrs Choi questioned when Jonghun when he sat up & wiped his eyes with his mother’s handkerchief. “I have to. Somehow the way Suzy’s father put it I don’t have any choice but to give her up so that she can make her family proud.” Jonghun’s heart ached at his own words.

"Then just have a talk with her & she will understand.” Mrs Choi said kindly. “Mum you don’t understand.. I can’t even look at her without wanting to kiss her or asking her to marry me.” Jonghun grumbled. “Then marry her. You remind me of your father.. Did you know that my father gave your father the same treatment?” Mrs Choi smiled. Jonghun raised his eyebrows.

“Yes you might not believe it but your grandfather hated your father. In the end your father still managed to marry me.” Mrs Choi said fondly. “Well times have changed now. Grandfather didn’t have a gun but I’m afraid that Suzy’s father has one.” Jonghun stood up & started heading towards his bedroom. “You’ll get through this son!” Mrs Choi called out to him encouragingly.

Jonghun heard his mother’s encouragement but unfortunately didn’t feel any more motivated than he had been before. He appreciated Mrs Choi’s positivity but it wasn’t working. His heart still felt like it was shattered into smithereens. Jonghun’s eyes fell on the picture by his bedside table. The picture he had taken with Suzy a couple of years ago when he brought her to the carnival for her birthday party.

Jonghun had been reluctant of taking pictures with clown makeup on his face but Suzy had forced him to. “Come on chicken! I’m a girl & I’m not afraid to look ugly for the camera. You’re a guy & you’re acting like a vain pot.” Suzy had rolled her eyes at him. Jonghun’s finger trailed over Suzy’s face in the picture. Her smiling round face, the happiness in her twinkling eyes that couldn’t be hidden even through the thick clownish makeup. He on the other hand was trying not to show how much he was enjoying it.

“I’ve always been a fool. I was never honest with my feelings till it was too late & now it seems I’m going to lose you.” Jonghun touched Suzy’s face again. As if his thoughts had magically collided with hers Jonghun’s phone vibrated urgently. He wasn’t surprised when he saw Suzy’s number flashing on the phone screen.

“Hello?” he answered the call tiredly. “Jonghun? Have you reached home safely? You seemed so disturbed & tired. I just called to check on you.” Suzy’s concerned voice floated over the phone. Jonghun’s heart clenched painfully. He was thinking really hard on a method to break Suzy’s heart & there she was checking up on him despite her father who was in the hospital.

“I’m fine.” He replied quietly. “You don’t sound fine babo. I feel bad that I’m dragging you into my family affairs. I’m sorry.” Suzy apologised not realising that she was making Jonghun guiltier by the second. “I love you babo.” Jonghun could hear the love radiating through her voice & bit his bottom lip forcefully. “Aren’t you going to say anything back?” she playfully when Jonghun didn’t answer. “I.. I’m a bit sleepy now Suzy. Can I talk to you later?” Jonghun’s voice wavered just like his resolution.

Suzy fell silent for a moment. “You must really be tired eh? I’ve never heard you refusing to say I love you to me.” Jonghun could hear the hurt in Suzy’s voice. Feeling his eyes well up again Jonghun hastily composed himself. “Sorry Bae Potato. Just had a long day.” Jonghun replied. “At least you are calling me by your special nickname.” Suzy laughed.

“I will visit you tomorrow okay? I need to talk to you about something.” The anticipation in Suzy’s voice saddened Jonghun. She was definitely going to speak to him about not leaving for London because she wanted to remain in Korea with him. “Sure. You get some sleep alright Bae Potato? I lo.. Take care.” Jonghun stopped himself at the last moment.

The moment Suzy hung up Jonghun flung his phone to the far corner of the room & collapsed onto his bed his tears flowing freely once again. Choi Jonghun has turned into what he usually made fun of. A lovesick fool who was turning into an emotional wreck because of his feelings for one girl.

“The funny thing is I wouldn’t change my feelings for you for anything else in the world.” Jonghun hugged the picture of Suzy & himself to his chest wallowing in his own bittersweet misery.

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Author's Note : Sorry for the late update guys. I was kind of having writer's block for this chapter & it's difficult for me to write out sad chapters when I'm in an extremely good mood. LOL! Anyways I hope this chapter was good. Comments & suggestions are welcome. I'm sorry if this chapter was a little slow. I needed to showcase the emotions of what both Jonghun & Suzy were feeling individually and it is undoubtedly heavy.