Kyuhyun's POV

"Why exactly are we holding the party in China?" I asked, looking at my father warily.

He didn't even look up from the newspaper in his hand as he answered blandly,

"Your mother insisted on it.  She hopes to make some business deals with Chinese corporations.  The best way to start business relationships is by getting on their good side.  What better way to do so than to invite them to a party"

I rolled my eyes at the explanation.  It really wasn't a surprise that my parents were exploiting me.  Leave it to them to use my marriage celebrations for financial benefit.

I turned away from my father and looked out of the window of our private jet.  The sky was perfectly clear, not a single cloud daring to disrupt the brilliant blue.  I stood, and walked down the aisle, knowing my father cared little for my company.

Towards the back of the plane I found Henry sitting with Mr. and Mrs. Kim.  Unlike the cold environment I had to endure with my father, this section of the plane was filled with warm laughter and genuine smiles.

"Ah, there's the man of the hour!" I smiled uncomfortably as Mr. Kim greeted me, smiling proudly.

Both Henry and Mrs. Kim shot me sympathetic looks knowing I would have given and arm and a leg not to be the so-called "man of the hour".  Although his wife knew all about my relationship with Ryeowook, it seemed Mr. Kim was oblivious to it all.  I wasn't sure why his wife never told him, and at the same time I wasn't sure whether I was grateful for that fact or not.

"Are we meeting your beautiful bride once we land?" he asked good naturedly, not noticing the matching looks of disgust Henry and I wore at the mention of Seohyun.

While the Kims knew that Seohyun had caused their son's accident all those years ago, they thought it was an accident.  They believed Mr. Seo's explanation, refusing to believe a little girl would really push their son down a cliff.  They accepted the money to send Ryeowook away to school as an apology, and they never harbored ill feelings towards the family.

I loved Mr. and Mrs. Kim dearly, but sometimes I wished they weren't so forgiving.  I wished they knew what had really happened so many years ago.  Then again, maybe it was better this way, ignorance was bliss...

"Have you heard anything from Ryeowook lately?" my brother asked, trying to steer the conversation away from someone we hated.

Mr. Kim's smile faltered slightly and he looked down at his lap.  Mrs. Kim squeezed his hand as if comforting him.  Henry bit his lip, looking guilty for bringing up such a sensitive subject.

The Kim's had been devastated by Ryeowook's sudden departure.  Even now, the wounds remained fresh as they didn't know where their son was or what he was doing.

Mrs. Kim smiled at me sadly, knowing I missed and worried about Ryeowook as much as they did. 

"He called yesterday.  He said he was fine"

"D-did he sound h-happy?" I asked quietly, not sure what I wanted to hear.

She looked uncertain for a moment, like she was deciding whether or not to tell me something.  Finally she nodded,

"He says he's happy" she murmured, not meeting my eyes.

I wasn't sure how to gage her reaction, but I decided to trust her.

"Good" I answered.

If he was happy, then it was okay.  As long as he was happy...

Ryeowook's POV

I wiped my tears away, trying to contain the sobs that threatened to erupt from my chest.  Zhoumi sighed, and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked quietly rubbing my back soothingly, "I know you hate it, but why do you stay?  No one is forcing you into this, you can stop whenever you want"

I sniffled, and buried my face into his shoulder.

"J-just because" I replied tearfully, hoping he would drop the subject.

Unfortunately for me, Zhoumi seemed to have enough of my cryptic answers.  He gently lifted my face so he was looking me in the eye.  His voice was gentle, but it was firm,

"Lixu, I want a real answer"

I sighed, but nodded in consent.  If anyone deserved an explanation, it was Zhoumi.  He was the first person to accept me in China.  He took me under his wing when I didn't know what to do.  He was the one who helped me adjust to the world in which I now lived.  I owed him this much.

"Gege, have you ever been in love?" he looked surprised at my sudden question, but he nodded slowly.

"Once" he answered, a faraway look in his eyes.

I could have pressed him, but he snapped back to attention and he looked at me questioningly,

"But what does that have to do with anything?" he asked me curiously.

I smiled sadly and looked down at my lap before answering him,

"I've only truly loved someone once.  I loved him more than myself, even more than my family"

Zhoumi continued to sit quietly, obviously waiting for me to elaborate.

"I would have done anything to make sure he never felt a bit of sadness, I would have given my life so he would never feel pain... that's why I had to leave him"

"Wait a minute, if you loved him so much why did you leave?" Zhoumi interrupted, sounding confused. 

I smiled bitterly,

"Before I loved him, I was with another.  That other man, he took my innocence and my reputation.  He stripped me of my good name and turned me into filth.  That's why I left the one I truly loved.  I couldn't bear the thought of soiling him, if I stayed I would have only hurt him in the end"

I glanced up at my friend and saw he was staring straight ahead, his lips set in a straight line and I knew he was thinking about what I had just told him.  Finally he broke the silence with a question,

"But how does that explain you becoming a e?"

I nodded, understanding why he couldn't put things together. 

"I figured if I'm already dirty, I may as well ruin myself completely.  I don't do this to harm myself, I do it to remind myself.  I'm weak and selfish, I knew I would go crawling right back to him if I had the chance.  Selling my body reminds me never to do that, it never lets me forget my sins... it's the only thing that stops me from going back and ruining his life.  Everything I do is to protect him..."

"Protect him from yourself?" Zhoumi asked quietly, his eyes strangely pained.

"Exactly" I whispered, as the edges of my vision became blurry with tears.

There was another moment of silence, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts.  My thoughts all revolved around Kyuhyun and in the back of my mind I wondered if Zhoumi was thinking about his lost love too.

"But Ryeowook" he began, jolting me out of my memories, "have you ever wondered what would have happened if you stayed?"

"I try not to.  If I think too hard I can convince myself that everything would have been fine and I could have gotten my happily ever after.  It's nothing more than wishful thinking and I refuse to give myself false hope"

I said the words with conviction, but at that point I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince Zhoumi or myself.

"But what if leaving him hurt him more than staying?"

Again I simply smiled at Zhoumi,

"I'm nothing special, he'll find someone else, someone much better than me"

"But-" Zhoumi started, but I cut him off,

"He's better off without me... he has to be..."

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Blah update, but it will get interesting soon, sorry if this bored you...

But at least you guys know why Wookie became a e...

It's a stretch, but I'm gonna go with it... yeah...

Location: the right side of the wrong bed

Mood: weird...

Music: "Cry" by MBLAQ