Ryeowook's POV

I walked with Henry, the comfortable silence letting us both get swept up in our own thoughts.  I was still trying to process the talk with my mother.  She seemed so certain that Kyuhyun and I would end up together, her confidence in that fact surprised me.  It seemed like everyone thought our relationship was inevitable and their conviction startled me.

Henry nudged me and I was jolted out of my thoughts. 

"What are you thinking about?"

I thought about lying, but I knew it was pointless, Henry could see right through me.  I averted my eyes and flushed slightly, embarrassed to admit my thoughts.  Henry nudged me again, prodding me for an answer.

"I-it's just... h-how do you know when you're in l-love?"

My dongsaeng was quiet for a moment and I knew he was thinking.

"Is this about Kyuhyun?" he asked me knowingly.  I flushed again and he chuckled lightly.  He grabbed my arm and steered me towards the bench that I used to meet Kyu at everyday after music lessons.  I smiled at the memory as I set myself next to my best friend.

"Wookie, how do you feel when you're with Kyuhyun?" he asked, looking serious.

I thought about it, but was struggling to put it into words.

"It's hard to explain.  I don't get nervous or giddy like people in the movies... it's just when he's around I can breathe better..."  I looked up at Henry, worried he would laugh at me.  Luckily he didn't look mocking and he gestured for me to continue.  I stared down at my lap, a small smile forming on my lips,

"I dunno, I guess things seem less scary when I'm with Kyu.  I'm braver and I feel like I'm a better person when he's around.  Mostly he makes me feel safe..."

Henry nodded and smiled before asking,

"Can you see yourself with him forever?" I crinkled my forehead, the thought never occuring to me before.  Henry must have seen my confusion because he quickly ammended,

"Well, can you imagine your life without him?"

My stomach went cold at the very thought and I shook my head adamantly.

"Honestly, I can't tell you if you love him or not... that's only something you would know" I bit my lip, not liking the answer.  We both sat, not saying anything before he finally spoke up,

"Why don't you want to tell Kyuhyun about your past?"

I felt the blood drain from my face at the question.  Henry smiled apologetically but refused to drop the subject.  He continued to watch me expectantly,

"I-i'm scared" I whispered almost inaudibly.  Henry pulled me close and I buried my face in his shirt, my voice came out garbled but I knew he could hear me as I explained,

"He would h-hate me if he knew... I'm d-dirty...  Kyu would leave me and I c-can't handle that... I-i just c-can't..."

Henry hushed me, and rubbed my back until my breathing slowed and I recovered from my panic.

"He would never do that, Kyuhyun could never hate you"

I nodded, wanting to believe him, but the doubts that clouded my mind were too strong.  I pulled away and looked at my best friend, smiling sadly,

"Sometimes I want to tell him I love him so badly.  The words come bubbling up and I just want to shout it to the whole world.  But then I remember, and I just stop... I'm already tainted and I don't want to soil him... I don't want to ruin him"

Henry looked at me with soft eyes and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly,

"Wookie, you just don't see yourself clearly" I looked up at him, surprised with the sudden shift in conversation.

"You don't seem to see what I see, or what Kyuhyun sees when we look at you.  You're amazing, and you're stong, and you're good.  Trust me, I know for a fact that Kyuhyun would never leave you, he needs you too much"

"But how can you be so sure?" I practically begged, my voice filled with desperation.

Henry smiled and gestured to look behind me.  I was confused by the gesture but I obediantly turned around.  My eyes widened when I found someone standing behind me, the expression on his face made it clear that he had heard everything I had just said.

"K-kyu..." I stammered nervously.

Kyuhyun's POV

He looked up at me, his eyes wide with shock and fear.  My heart cracked at seeing him look so scared, so scared of me.

I shot Henry a look, and he nodded in understanding before standing up and preparing to leave.  Ryeowook shot him a panicked look, but my brother just smiled and turned to go.  I waited until he was out of earshot before I slowly approached Ryeowook. 

He watched me get closer and I saw he was trembling like a leaf.  I sat down in the spot that Henry had vacated, and I took Ryeowook's hand in mine.  He still looked pertrified, but he managed to ask,

"H-how much d-did you h-hear?"

I didn't answer him and instead kissed him lovingly.  He seemed a bit startled at first and didn't immediately respond, but before long his lips were moving against mine.  Eventually, he pulled away, gasping for air.  I moved my lips towards his ear and kissed it gently before whispering,

"I would never, ever leave you" 

I heard him whimper softly and I wrapped my arms around him.  I tucked his head under my chin and I held him securely, trying my best to convey my feelings to him.

"I-i'm dirty" he whispered, and my heart clenched in my chest.

"No, you're perfect"  He clenched my shirt in his hands and I felt him shake his head in denial.  I kissed the top of his head and murmured,

"I wouldn't care if you were a murderer, I would still love you"

He sniffled, but this time he didn't argue back.  I took his hands in mine and squeezed them,

"Please trust me, I will never leave you"

I pulled away and looked at him searchingly, hoping he would give me a sign, any indication that he trusted me.  My heart pounded harshly as he refused to meet my eyes and bit his lip nervously.  I tried my best not to sigh and steeled myself for rejection.

I tried to pull my hands away, but he refused to loosen his grip.  I looked at him questioningly and I heard him mumble something. 

"What?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion.  He looked up with teary eyes and repeated,

"I-i think I l-love you..."

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And another weekly update done...

Seriously, I am so done with this story, I am so so so uninspired...

*sighs*

I'll try to stay with this, but honestly I'm just tempted to delete this whole story...

Mood: frustrated, uninspired, writer's block!!!!

Location: irritation central

Music: "Stop Girl" by UKISS