Kyuhyun's POV

It hurt to see him like this and know I couldn't do anything to help.

I did my best to comfort him.  I held him, but he didn't respond.  My assurances fell on deaf ears and all I could do was watch helplessly as my angel fell.

He sat quietly as tears painted his cheeks and spotted his lap.  He refused to look up and I was left not knowing how to assuage the situation.

"Ryeowook" I said softly, hoping to get a response from him.

He sniffled, but that was the only indication he managed to give.  I sighed and let the silence settle once again.  It was useless for me to push him.  The only way I could fix this was if he would talk to me, but that was solely up to him. 

**********

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was opening my eyes to a brightly lit room.  I immediately felt for the small warm body, but was surprised to find Ryeowook gone.  I was up in a flash, panic rushing through my chest as all I could think about was the danger he was in.

I grabbed my phone and hurriedly dialed Henry, already rushing towards the elevator.

"What?" my brother's groggy voice asked.

"Henry please tell me Wookie is with you!"

The alarm in my voice must have worried him because he immediately sounded more awake,

"No, I thought he was with you.  What's going on?"

"!  I cursed repeatedly hitting the button for the floor where Wookie stayed, "I don't know where he is!"

I could hear frantic movements on the other side of the phone and Henry quickly answered,

"I'll meet you at his room" there was more rushed movements and then silence as he hung up.

I watched as the floor numbers increased, cursing the painfully slow movement of the elevator.  I let out a sigh of relief when the doors finally opened onto Ryeowook's floor.  I could see Henry already waiting by his door apparently choosing to use the stairs as opposed to the elevator.

"I tried calling him, but his phone is shut off; his parents don't know where he is either"

I felt icy fear bloom in my stomach at Henry's words.  Without even bothering to knock, I unlocked Ryeowook's door, my hands trembling slightly.

I had a bad feeling about this and I couldn't do anything to calm myself.  There was just a sense of dread that hovered over me, making me hesitant to push open the door.  Henry, seemingly annoyed by the wait, pushed past me and swept into the room.

"Ryeowook!" he yelled, "Wookie!"

I slowly followed him into the room, already knowing Ryeowook wasn't there.  My eyes flittered anxiously around the room until they landed on a single sheet of folded paper that lay on his bed.  I slowly reached out for it, praying it wasn't what I thought it was.

I unfolded the note with shaky hands and felt my world crash down around me as I read the words written in the hand I loved so much.  By this time, Henry had returned to my side, his search for Ryeowook obviously futile.

"He's not here hyung" he sighed.  When I didn't respond, Henry prompted again,

"Hyung?"

I slowly tore my eyes away from the paper, and looked at my brother.

"What's wrong?" he asked fearfully, no doubt seeing the devastation in my eyes.

"H-he's gone" I whispered as a single tear ran down my face.

"R-ryeowook, he... he's g-gone"

Ryeowook's POV

I simply laid there in Kyuhyun's arms, wishing with every fiber of my being that he loved someone better than me.  Wishing that someone as awful as me didn't love him back.

Kyuhyun deserved so much more, he deserved perfection and purity, not someone who had been tainted.  Although Kyuhyun had been exposed to the corruption and hate of the world, he was still clean.  I could see it in his eyes, although they were weary, they were innocent, a small miracle considering the dark world that raged around him.

I knew he thought I was pristine, I knew he could only see me as his childhood friend, the young boy he first fell in love with.  I wonderrd if he really knew that I wasn't and could never be that same person again. 

While Kyuhyun had endured the hate and evil and come out the other side, I wasn't strong enough.  I had gotten into the cesspool, and although I fought it, maybe it was my innocence that caused my downfall.

Ironically, my purity was my weakness and it was soon fractured, distorted until there were few traces left.  I was dirtied and corrupted, and I knew I had no right to tarnish Kyuhyun.

I tried to lie to myself, assure myself that my love was enough to make me a person deserving of Kyuhyun's unwavering devotion.  However, my love only made me into a more despicable person.  I was selfish in my love, and I knew if I truly loved Kyuhyun I should leave him, but I was too greedy.

I wanted to be with him, wanted nothing more than to stay by his side.  I would only kill the innocence in Kyuhyun's eyes, but yet I still wanted to be with him. 

I looked up at his sleeping face, and my heart clenched in my chest.  Slowly I slid out of his embrace and walked out of his bedroom.  I slowly walked up the steps that led to my floor, my mind whirling with guilt.  I opened the door to my room, not really knowing why I was there in the first place.

I simply stood in the doorway, not really seeing what was right in front of me.  I tinkling voice jolted me out of my private world of misery.

"Hello Ryeowook"

I gasped and my eyes widened in fear when I saw Seohyun, perched on my bed, her dark eyes boring into mine.  She smiled beatifically, but it didn't reach her cold eyes.

"W-what do you w-want" I stammered as my heart beat harshly against my ribs.

The sickeningly sweet smile never left her face as she cooed,

"I know all about you, I know all those horrible things that even your beloved Kyu doesn't know"

My breathing hitched and I slowly backed away from her like she was a caged animal trying to get out.  She laughed lightly, the sound sending goose bumps up my arms.

"You love him, but you'll only end up hurting him" she continued, her eyes still locked on mine.

"Isn't it better that you simply leave him now?  Leave him so he never has to know, never has to be in pain?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, as her words stung my heart and raw agony swept through my being.

"I think you know what to do" her voice resonated firmly, making a shudder run down my spine.

She stood and walked towards me, gently pulling me towards the desk.  She handed me a piece of paper and a pen.

"Write" she ordered, "tell him you hate him, tell him anything that will break his heart.  You know you deserve nothing but his scorn"

I picked up the pen, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall and dirty the pure white paper that lay before me.  Choking back sobs I quickly wrote the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Kyuhyun,

Funny how easily you fell for me.  I had you all fooled didn't I?  I wonder how you'll react when you discover my game?  Either way, let me spell it out for you.  I never loved you.  It makes me laugh to think how I had you wrapped around my little pinky.  Sad isn't it?  Well, I'm bored now, bored with this sad little fantasy you have conjured up, but more importantly bored with you.

I know you fell for my act, I play the innocent little victim perfectly, don't you think?  But now, I'm off to greener pastures, essentially a life without you.  I'm leaving, and I have no intention of ever coming back.  Don't look for me, it would only make you more pathetic.

I hope you're wiser in the future.  Don't ever love someone like me.

- Ryeowook

I folded the paper, not wanting to see the horrible lies I had written.  I turned to see Seohyun standing behind me, all my belongings packed in a single suitcase.  I brushed the tears from my eyes, not noticing the single drop that fell on my letter, slightly smearing my name.

"Go" Seohyun ordered, and I nodded while placing the note on my bed.

I took my bag, and she smiled handing me a thin piece of paper.  I looked down and saw it was a one way ticket to China.  I took the ticket numbly and wordlessly turned to leave.

"Ryeowook" Seohyun purred, "Don't look for Kyuhyun, he's better off without you"

I nodded slightly, her words burning themselves into my head. 

"He's better off without me... He's better off without me..." I chanted over and over as tears blinded my vision. 

He had to be better off... he just had to be...

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I'm back! 

I'm so so sorry for putting this off, but now I'm on winter break I promise to update more often (well, I'll try!)

My writer's block is still gonna be annoying, but for now I'm going to take this off hiatus

Hope you enjoyed the update!

Comments = ~<3

Location: my bedroom admiring all the Suju stuff I got for Christmas, so much beautiful stuff!! *swoons*

Mood: giddy ^^

Music: "Let the Wind Blow" by LEDApple