Ryeowook's POV

I yawned and glanced out the window, watching the fluffy clouds float past us as we travelled higher and higher.  Beside me, Kyuhyun placed his chin on my shoulder and looked out the window with me.  I smiled at the gesture, relieved that he wasn't angry.

I honestly felt terrible.  Even though he assured me he was fine, I knew it was hard for him.  I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me.  It's not like I was scared of him, I trusted him and I knew he would never hurt me.  What's more, I knew he just wanted to show me how much he loved me.  It's just... I panicked...

I was telling the truth when I told him my first time was bad.  To be honest, it wasn't something I liked thinking about, I much preferred to pretend that it never happened.  The thing was, Kyuhyun wasn't my first boyfriend, and I had one serious relationship in the past.

I honestly thought I loved the guy, he made me happy and he seemed too perfect to be true.  At that time, I thought love was feeling happy all the time, I thought love was the perfection he had orchestrated...

However, it seemed I was too naiive.  It was a rude awakening to find out that everything was a farce.  The faultless world that I had come to know, shattered around me.  Everything I thought I loved was an illusion, and I was left trying to salvage anything to let me believe that I wasn't broken.

He took my first time... stole it from me in the worst way possible...

It couldn't be considered ... I didn't protest, and I never once told him to stop... I couldn't, it hurt too much to speak, to beg... even to cry.

It was that moment that showed me that I everything I believed in was a lie.  That was the moment when I knew I had to get away.  I was lucky in that sense, I was able to get out while I still could.

I shuddered and shook my head, driving such thoughts from my head.  Kyuhyun eyed me in concern, but I quickly smiled, showing him I was fine.  He looked skeptical, but luckily his attention was diverted by Henry as he collapsed in the plush chair facing us.

Kyuhyun raised his eyebrow and Henry sighed,

"You know that research you wanted me to do?  Well I'm not getting any leads, you wanna hire a private investigator?"

Kyuhyun paled and shushed his brother in an alarmed manner.  I shot a confused look at the two of them, wondering what they could possibly be up to.  Before I had the chance to ask, Kyuhyun a menu in my hand and suggested,

"Why don't you order some food, there's a great chef on board"

My eyes widened and I gasped,

"You guys even have your own chef!?  Damn!  I need to get a private jet!"

I happily thumbed through the fat menu as I walked in the direction that Kyuhyun had indicated.  I was amazed when I found a little dining room in the plane.  I sat and waited for a steward to come take my order.  In the back of my head, I wondered what Henry and Kyu were talking about.

Part of me really wanted to know, but the more dominant part of me decided ignorance was better.  I had a sick feeling in my stomach that I knew what Kyu wanted to know.  He deserved to know, and I knew I should have told him, but honestly, it scared me. 

Would he still love me if he knew I was tainted?

Kyuhyun's POV

I waited until Ryeowook left the room before leaning over and smacking Henry's head.  He glared at me and rubbed his head while he hissed,

"What the hell!?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and whispered angrilly,

"Don't talk about that in front of Wookie!  I don't want him to know!"

Henry rolled his eyes and muttered,

"It's not like he knew what I was talking about.  Besides, I don't think you should be doing this anyway"

I glowered at him,

"I knew it, you're trying to blow my cover intentionally!"

Henry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously trying to calm himself down.  He took a few deep breaths before answering me in a gentler voice,

"Look, I know you're worried about him, but don't you think this is the wrong way to go about things?  If Wookie wanted you to know, he would have told you"

I sighed and looked away, knowing that he was right. 

"I just can't stand not knowing" I mumbled quietly.

Henry shot me a knowing look and replied,

"Trust me, I know how you feel.  I wanna know what happened just as badly as you do, but we can't jump to conclusions.  We can't just go searching for that guy, what would you even say anyway?  You can't just order him to tell you about his past relationships"

"I'm Cho Kyuhyun, I can order him to do anything I want!" I bit back in frustration.

My brother gave me a reproachful look,

"Kyu, we don't even know what happened between him and Wookie.  We can't just assume the worst... "

"Henry, you weren't there.  You didn't see his face... you didn't see his eyes...  I know something bad happened to him"

"Even so, he didn't ask us to hunt that guy down and kick his .  It's not our place, just be patient.  If Ryeowook feels the need to tell you, he will, but until then, the best thing you can do is wait"

I frowned, not liking his advice.

"Don't you think this is too much?  Relationships are supposed to be built on honesty, aren't there too many secrets already?"

Henry snorted and rolled his eyes,

"Don't be hypocritical"

"Me?  What are you talking about!?"

"Well let's see, last time I checked you were the one who kept the marriage contract to yourself, and then there was the whole fact that you didn't tell him about Seohyun, and you were also the one who-"

"Okay, okay, I get your point!" I interrupted, "But for the record, I only lied to protect him"

"Well have you ever stopped to think that maybe Ryeowook has his reasons for not telling you?"

I paused, not knowing what to say in response.  Henry smirked victoriously and patted my shoulder as he stood up. 

"Just trust him Kyu, he'll tell you eventually.  You just need to be understanding and patient"

I nodded, a little annoyed to be recieving advice from my dongsaeng.  Truthfully, I knew Henry was right, but I still hated the thought of not knowing.  I watched Henry walk away to join Ryeowook in the dining section of the plane.

After a moment, I hoisted myself up and followed after him slowly.  The reason I was so anxious to know was because I felt like this was the thing that was holding Ryeowook back. 

His past experience was the one thing keeping him from loving me back...

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Okay this might have been confusing...

Basically, Wook was in a bad relationship and is scared to fall in love again.  Kyuhyun want's to know what happened in Wookie's past, more specifically he wants to know what happened to Wookie's ity...

If you have any questions just leave a comment and I'll try to clear things up the best I can

Thanks for reading, I love you all!!!

Comments = ~<3

Location: at the CIA offices, monitoring the activity of a certain group of South Korean spies (see wut I did thur?)

Mood: hungry... I gotta stop watching Food Network when I type...

Music: "Rock Ur Body" by VIXX (I like them...)